When She Smiles
by l'heure bleue
Summary: Alice and Jasper have always been friends. First kiss at five, ”I love you” at six — and a terrible tragedy before they'd even begun high school. Can the love the share overcome the fear, and the pain? ”Daddy," he cried. ”Don't hurt me…” — COTN SIDE-STORY
1. — PROLOGUE —

— _AGE CHART —_

Edward is the oldest. He is **six years older** than Emmett. Emmett is **six years older **than Alice. So, logically, Edward is **twelve years older** than Alice. Jasper is **three years younger** than Emmett, which means he is **three years older** than Alice. Rose is inbetween - she's just **one year younger** than Emmett.

**

* * *

**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindrop**!

* * *

_**When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys_

_She keeps her secrets  
In her eyes  
She wraps the truth  
Inside her lies  
Just when I can't say  
What she's done to me  
She comes to me  
And leads me back to paradise_

_She's so hard to hold  
But I can't let go_

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_Oh, when she smiles  
She smiles ..._

_Maybe I'd fight it if I could  
It hurts so bad  
But feels so good  
She opens up just like  
A rose to me  
When she's close to me  
Anything she'd ask me to  
I would_

_It's out of control  
But I can't let go_

_I'm a house of cards  
in a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_When she looks at me  
I get so weak ..._

_I'm a house of cards  
in a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
__She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles ..._

* * *

**_When She Smiles — PROLOGUE_**

_**June 1st, Saturday 2002 - 2:11 PM **— Third Person POV_

"I hold?" the tiny boy asked, and his little, pale hands reached forward, clasping and unclasping as he grinned. Tiny blue eyes sparkled from beneath shaggy, blond hair. "I hold baby?"

Carlisle Cullen nodded, moving toward his son's best friend, three-year-old Jasper Hale. The tiny boy had tagged along to the hospital, as he'd been with the Cullen's on an outing when Esme had gone into labor. Now, two hours after the birth of six pound, nine ounce Alice Mary Cullen, both boys wanted desperately to see the little girl who already had everyone wrapped around her tiny, pink fingers.

"Here," Carlsile murmured gently, and he leaned down beside the chair that Jasper was sitting in. The little boy's feet dangled over the edge; he grinned, swinging his legs back and forth. "Hold your arms like this, and support her head."

Jasper nodded, and his face was glowing with pride as he stared down at the tiny creature in his arms. Newborn eyes opened, and Jasper's own eyes grew wide as he stared into the baby's bright, blue gaze.

"Pretty," he announced, resting a hand on baby Alice's tummy. He glanced up at Carlisle and grinned yet another toothy grin. "Pretty baby."

Carlisle nodded, smiling at the gentle little boy.

"Very pretty," he agreed, and he ran a hand through Jasper's shaggy hair, coaxing yet another grin from the little boy that barely ever smiled.

"I love this baby girl," Jasper whispered, and he leaned down to place a soft kiss on Alice's forehead. "I'll love her forever."

Carlisle's smile grew. "You do that," he whispered back, and blue eyes met soft brown. "Forever, all right? I'll hold you to that."

With still yet another happy smile, Jasper nodded, wiggling in his seat as a light flush lit his pale cheeks. "Yes, sir!"

Baby Alice squealed, and reached out to grab Jasper's fingers in her tiny hand. She held on tightly, and blue met blue once more. Jasper kissed her once more on the forehead, and as his rosy lips met Alice's soft, baby skin, the tiny boy knew that he would never break his promise to this angel's father.

How could he ever _not_ love her?

It was an impossibility.

* * *

Hello! This is the prologue of Alice and Jasper's story. ^_^ I think the first few chapters are going to be flashes, little scenes of theirlives leading up until they're a little bit older. _Then_ the drama will come, and there will be _lots_ of it. Bet ya can't guess ...

**NOTE**: I know it's impossible for a three-year-old to fall in love. But remember in Twilight? _"I've been waiting for you,"_ Alice said. Now ... all they have to do is wait. ^_^ Also, sorry it's so short - but it's a _prologue_. Those tend to be short. Please put this on your alerts list! The next chapter will be out SOON!

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"I'll keep the thunder away. I'll never let it hurt you, all right?" the little boy declared proudly, and his intense blue eyes met those of the little girl that had wrapped him around her fingers so many years ago and had never let go.

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 2!

* * *


	2. Year Two: My Baby Girl

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindrop**!

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Two_**

_**March 4th, Friday 2005 - 9:10 PM **— Third Person POV_

A loud crack of lightening flashed across the sky, quickly followed by a roar of thunder.

A tiny scream pierced the air, and then a wail of fright. Quickly following the wail was a fresh round of frightened tears; sobbed wracked the tiny body, and shaking hands tried desperately to wipe away tears. Bare feet shuffled quickly across the carpeted floor, and then two warm arms embraced the shaking girl.

"Alice scared!" the two and a half-year-old wailed, and her tiny hands grasped tightly onto the ones that were holding her. The tears never stopped; in fact, they fell faster, even though she knew she was safe in the warm arms of her protector. "No thunder! Go away! No scare Alice," she blubbered, and a tiny, warm laugh made her finally look up.

"Shh, baby girl. It's all right. The thunder can't hurt you."

"Scare me," she whispered, and tear filled blue eyes met the gaze of her protector in the dark room. "Jazzy hold me?"

"I'll hold you until the storm is over, I promise. I won't leave you alone, 'kay? Try and sleep, baby girl."

"No sleep. Scared. Stay awake."

Jasper laughed, smiling finally as he ran a shaking hand through Alice's soft hair. He'd known, of course, that it was the thunder that had scared her. He'd known before he'd even come running. But that brief second, the first one, when he'd first heard her scream ... an unknown terror had filled him, and it scared him. He didn't like feeling that way. Like his whole world was crumbling down just because his baby girl had screamed.

"I'll keep the thunder away. I'll never let it hurt you," the little boy declared proudly, and his intense blue eyes met those of the little girl that had wrapped him around her fingers so many years ago and had never let go.

"Scary sounds," Alice whispered, her eyes still wide. "Scary noise."

Five-year-old Jasper sighed, and continued to run his fingers soothingly gently through Alice's soft hair. "Noise can't hurt you. I promise."

"Jazzy stay with me?" Alice asked, and she smiled as he nodded. "That's good," she whispered quietly. " 'cause Jazzy chases the t-under away." Then, "Emmy be mad? Emmy not like it when Jazzy stays with Alice."

"Emmett doesn't matter right now," he whispered, but he knew Alice was right. On the rare nights when Jasper was able to sleep over, Emmett got upset if he went to Alice. "_You're_ the only one that matter's now, all right?"

Alice nodded slowly, and Jasper's smile grew ten-fold as he planted a soft kiss on her forehead. She smiled up at him, her eyes bright and happy.

Then, randomly,

"Alice wants water."

Jasper chuckled quietly and smiled. He moved quietly from the bed, and began to walk toward the bright pink door of Alice's room. But he stopped in his tracks when the little girl began to cry once more. He turned around swiftly, anxious now. What had caused her to cry? But she still lay in the middle of the bed, this time with her arms stretched forward.

"No leave Alice alone!" she wailed, and he immediately realized the problem. He held out one hand, and cocked his head to the side; an invitation for her to join him.

"C'mon, baby girl. Come with me."

She nodded, her baby blue eyes wide as he quickly scrambled from her bed before toddling over to him. She took the hand he offered, sticking two fingers into her mouth and sucking on them lightly — a habit her Momma had been trying to break her of.

"Dark," she whispered when they entered the hall. "Scary."

"It's not scary," Jasper reasoned with her quietly, smiling slightly as she moved closer to his side. "It's the same house that it is during the day — it's just dark. God turned the lights in heaven out so he could sleep."

"Is scary," Alice repeated firmly, and Jasper sighed, shaking his head as they walked toward the stairs. He turned to Alice, and held out both hands this time — an invitation. She nodded, and let him pick her up. Once her small body was comfortably settled on his hip, he walked slowly down the stairs, careful not to trip.

He put her down once they were in the kitchen, and as he moved to grab a cup from the cupboard, she scrambled into her chair, grinning as she laid both arms out on the table. Her shiny pink princess pajamas reflected in the moonlight from the window, and she sat, entranced by the colors, until Jasper lay her sippy cup down in front of her. She grinned as she reached for it, sucking loudly once she placed her lips over the top.

"Thank you," she whispered, hopping down from her chair. She grabbed Jasper's hand in hers once more and they began to walk back toward the stairs. She became side tracked, however, as lightening flashed across the sky. The whole living room lit up — it was scary, but beautiful at the same time.

She smiled, gripping Jasper's hand tighter.

"Pretty," she whispered; he didn't respond. He waited with baited breath for the thunder to sound, but it never did. Perhaps the lightening had struck too far away for the sound to travel. He wasn't sure, but either way, he was thankful — he didn't like hearing Alice cry.

It scared him.

"Very pretty," he agreed hesitantly, his lips set in a frown as Alice plopped down on the carpet in front of the window. She giggled, and patted the ground beside her, asking with her eyes for him to join her. He nodded, sitting slowly. He watched her face anxiously for signs of fear as he took her hand into his own once more.

"Alice watch," she decided, and she smiled as she stuck her sippy cup back between her lips. The next time lightening flashed across the sky, she squealed, and bounced up and down — Jasper, however, frowned. The lightening might be far away now, but what if it got closer? It was dangerous, he knew, to sit in front of the huge, picture window.

"Alice — " he started, but then he caught sight the delighted smile that was dancing across her lips. How could he make her move, without causing the tiny smile to fall from her face?

"Jazzy! Look! Pretty light. Not scary. Thunder bad, but light pretty!"

Jasper smiled and nodded, and instead of moving Alice away from the window, he pulled her into his lap, and wrapped his arms protectively around her. He couldn't allow her to get hurt, but at the same time, he couldn't take this happiness away from her if it caused her to forget her fear.

"Pretty," she whispered once more, smiling as she laid her head on his chest. She laid her sippy cup down, and instead stuck two fingers into her mouth, sucking quietly on them as her bright, wide eyes continued to flash all around, trying to take everything in.

The next flash of lightening was closer, Jasper could tell — and he knew that the thunder _would_ sound this time. So he pressed his palms over Alice's ears, and rested his chin on her shoulder to distract her. It worked — when, seconds later, the thunder roared across the sky, Alice barely heard it; she flinched, but didn't cry.

"Thunder bad. Loud. Jazzy saved me."

He chuckled breathlessly, still not moving his hands from her ears. The lightening, growing ever closer, frightened _him_, and not because it was loud.

Instead, it scared him because of the danger it presented to Alice.

"We should go back to bed, baby girl," he whispered, and she shook her head; her protest was ruined, though, when she opened her mouth to speak and all that came out was a yawn. She grinned sheepishly, and he chuckled.

"Sleep," he said firmly, and she pouted but nodded.

" 'kay," she agreed, and she let Jasper help her to her feet, clambering along beside him as they headed for the stairs.

It took them a lot longer to climb the stairs that it had taken for them to get down, though. Alice refused to let Jasper carry her, instead only holding his hand as he tried to help her up the long staircase. She sucked on her sippy cup the whole way, giggling every time she tripped. Jasper led her silently, smiling softly at the cute sounds she made.

When they finally reached the top, Alice giggled and toddled across the hall without his help, bouncing into her room. She scrambled onto her bed, laying out in the middle and patting the space beside her.

"Jazzy," was all she said, but he knew it was an invitation for him to join her. He took it gladly, and sighed happily as he settled in beside her.

"Sleep, baby girl. I'll be here when you wake up," he whispered, kissing her forehead tenderly.

"Can't sweep," she whispered, but her defense was slipping; her eyes were fluttering in exhaustion as she curled her tiny body closer to the warm body of her protector. "Scary thunder."

As if to prove her point, a flash of lightening illuminated the sky, quickly followed by a loud clap of thunder. But in the lingering glow left from the lightening, Jasper could see the calm expression that lit Alice's face. The thought that it was _him_ that calmed her made his heart swell with happiness.

But he knew that even his presence wasn't enough to keep the fear away forever; each clap of thunder was quickly followed by another, and the noise, eventually, began to frighten her once more.

"Hold me, Jazzy?" she breathed, and her voice was so quiet, so tiny.

"Forever," he promised, and she smiled. She yawned then, too, and he chuckled quietly before pulling her closer to his small, thin body. She smiled, and laid her head on his chest, her soft brown ringlets tickling his chin. He didn't mind, though.

She fell asleep quickly, unable to fight the exhaustion.

"Love you, baby girl," he whispered, and then he closed his eyes, following her into a world where anything was possible.

* * *

So ... short and fluffy ... and utterly pointless. The chapters leading up to about ... Year Nine will be short and fluffy like this. I imagine this story will be anywhere from 25-35 chapters long, getting dramatic and serious around Ch. 10 or 12. Things will stay fluffy, though, throughout the _whole _story.

**NOTE**: Five-year-old Jasper holding tiny, itty-bitty Alice during a thunderstorm. Cute, no? ^____^ I'm having a ton of fun writing this!

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"_I lost Jazzy's heart_!_" _Alice wailed loudly, and her bright eyes were overflowing with tears. She ran toward the shocked, blond-haired boy, hugging him tightly around the waist. She buried her head in his chest, her soft brown ringlets shaking as she cried. "I lost your heart, Jazzy! I's sorry! Sorry I lost your heart!"

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 3!

* * *


	3. Year Three: Hold My Heart

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindrop**!

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Three_**

**_June 1st, Wednesday 2005 - 3:30 PM_**

"Alice make wish! Alice blow out candles," the now three-year-old girl announced, grinning a toothy grin as she scrambled quickly to her feet on the wooden chair. Bare toes squeaked against the polished surface, and intense blue eyes smiled as the small girl drew in a deep breath before blowing it out harshly.

Alice grinned as the three flames flickered, and then died.

"Yaaay! Now Alice's wish come true?"

"It sure does, sweetheart," Carlisle replied, smiling and kissing his daughter on the forehead. She beamed, her face glowing with happiness as she glanced around at the smiling faces of her family.

"I have presents now? I open them?"

Carlisle chuckled before grabbing Alice under the arms and lifting her gently from the chair. He set her on the ground, and she immediately took off running. She didn't run for the presents, though — instead, she ran for Jasper. She grabbed his hand, giggling in delight before pulling him toward the towering pile of gifts.

"Jazzy help me open presents."

He nodded, a tiny smile dancing on his lips — he would do anything to make her smile, to hear her laugh.

"Jazzy open this one," she said, and she placed a small, carefully wrapped gift into his hands before taking yet another into her hands. "I open this one."

It took them quite a while to open the gifts, because every time Jasper opened one, Alice's eyes would grow wide and she would bounce over to inspect the present he held. Finally, though, they reached the end of the pile. Alice inspected her gifts with a happy smile — a dress from Momma, a pair of shiny shoes from Daddy, and a stuffed Teddy Bear that was bigger than her from her big brother Edward. Emmett had gotten her a story book, filled with all her favorite fairy tales, and Rosie — Jazzy's sister — had given her a dolly with hair that changed colors when you washed it with cold water.

Something was missing, though, and when she realized what it was, her eyes filled with tears.

"Jazzy not get Alice present?"

He smiled, though, and shook his head before reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a tiny, crudely wrapped box, and pressed it into her little hands.

Alice's squeal of delight could be heard all across the house as she quickly tore through the wrapping paper. But the smile that lit her face when she saw what was inside could only be described as pure, unadulterated joy.

"Pretty," she whispered, and she ran her small, chubby fingers over the necklace. The chain was made of leather, thin and braided together to form a beautiful circle. In the middle of the braided rope was a tiny blue heart. "Jazzy put it on me?" she breathed quietly, and he nodded, still not speaking as he took it from her hands. He quickly unclasped it and then wound it around her small neck, grinning as he watched the small, blue heart fall all the way down to Alice's tummy.

"Too big," she observed, and he shook his head once more, finally speaking.

"I made it big, so it'll always fit you. So you can wear it forever. See this?" he whispered, and he fingered the small, blue heart, carefully and yet still messily carved from what had once been a piece of plastic. "It's a picture of my heart. It's yours forever, 'kay?"

Alice nodded, her eyes wide. She smiled, and then wrapped her little, chubby hand over the piece of plastic.

" 'kay," she repeated, and she leaned up then to press a soft kiss to Jasper's cheek. He blushed, and his eyes grew wide. But then he grinned, and took Alice's hand gently into his. Even the amused chuckles that filled the room couldn't make the smile leave his embarrassed face.

"Happy birf-day, Jazzy," Alice whispered, leaning her head on his chest as she fingered the plastic pendant once more. He grinned, chuckling as he playfully ruffled her hair.

"Happy birthday, Baby Girl."

**5:12 PM**

It was only two hours later that the frantic cry could be heard echoing through the mostly-empty house.

"_I lost Jazzy's heart_!_" _Alice wailed loudly, and her bright eyes were overflowing with tears. She ran toward the shocked, blond-haired boy, hugging him tightly around the waist. She buried her head in his chest, her soft black ringlets shaking as she cried. "I lost your heart, Jazzy! I's sorry! Sorry I lost your heart!"

He stood completely still for several seconds, and then broke into amused chuckles. He patted Alice softly on the head, and she pulled away, confused. Her lips were set in a surprised frown, and her eyes were wide.

"I lost your heart!" she informed him once more; he just smiled. Of course he was sad that she'd lost his present so quickly, but what else was he expecting? This was _Alice_, and her attention span was short than that of a pencils. But that was part of the reason he loved her so much, part of the reason he felt the intense, overwhelming need to protect her.

"That's all right, baby girl. I'll help you find it, 'kay?"

She nodded, her soft black curls bobbing up and down quickly. Tears still fell from her bright eyes, though Jasper's warm hand in hers made her feel a lot better.

"I'll be right back, Emmett," Jasper said softy; Emmett simply rolled his eyes. He didn't understand how someone could be so completely absorbed by another that they'd be willing to do anything for them. Even more, he didn't understand how someone could be completely absorbed by his _sister_.

"Whatev," he said, waving them off before turning back to his game. Jasper shook his head in amusement, and then let Alice lead him from the room. They walked silently down the stairs, Alice still hiccuping as the last of her sobs slowly dissipated. Jasper was smiling widely, though. His blond hair hung into intense blue eyes, and his words were soft though he wanted very much to laugh.

"Where do you remember having it last?" he asked, and she paused in her steps, deep in thought now. Her eyebrows smashed together in concentration. She touched a finger to her nose, like her brother Edward did when he was concentrating. Then she smiled, and pulled Jasper forward with renewed enthusiasm.

They ended up searching most of the house; Alice's bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, and even her parent's bedroom. By the time they entered the last room that Alice had been in over the past few hours — the laundry room — she was in tears once more.

"I lost Jazzy's heart! S-so-sorry!"

He leaned down beside her, taking her little hands into his larger ones. He smiled, and she hiccuped as yet another sob caught in her throat. Blue met blue, and a soft smile slowly spread across Jasper's gentle features.

"It's all right, baby girl. Do you know why? Because you can't _ever_ lose my heart. Because it's right here," he whispered, and he pressed two fingers softly to her chest, where her own heart lie.

"H-here?" she asked, and she covered his fingers with her hand. "Where? It's not here. All g-gone."

"You carry my heart in your heart, baby girl. As long as you'll let me, I'll stay with you. 'kay?"

" 'kay," she agreed easily, and he wrapped her in a soft hug. She laid her head on his shoulder, and sighed. "Pretty necklace, though. Did Jazzy make it?"

"Uh huh," he whispered, and he pulled away, smiling once more. "I made it with my own hands. We'll find it, all right? It has to be around here somewhere. Did you go outside today?"

Alice shook her head, and then sighed once more. Her hands, which had previously been clasped in Jasper's, moved to nervously play with her t-shirt. A green t-shirt — not the one she'd been wearing earlier. Jasper grinned in realization.

"Hey, baby girl, did you change your shirt?"

Alice nodded, her eyes moving to meet his gaze once more. "Uh huh. I spilled my juice on it. Momma made me change."

"Then ... " he whispered slowly. "I think I know where your necklace is."

Alice's eyes grew wide; her baby blue orbs seemed as large as plates, and a smile that dominated her whole face spread very quickly across her rosy lips. "_Really_!? Jazzy found Jazzy's heart!?"

He chuckled and nodded, and moved quickly to the laundry basket that sat on top of the washer. He couldn't quite reach it, though, so he jumped up and down, trying to grasp the edge so he could pull it off. He spoke between each jump.

"You probably — " _Jump_. " — accidentally took it — " _Jump_. " — off with your shirt — " _Jump_. " — when you changed."

_Grab_.

Alice burst into hysteric giggles as Jasper's fingers closed around the edge of the basket. It quickly became unbalanced, and clothing flew everywhere, coating the laundry room and Jasper himself in dirty towels and clothing. The little boy wasn't deterred from his mission, however; even covered in soggy towels and jeans, he continued to search. Finally, with a washrag on his head and a pair of shorts dangling off of his arm, he jumped up, a triumphant smile resting on his lips.

"I found it!" he sang, and he grinned a happy grin as he handed Alice the leather chain. She squealed, and jumped up and down, smiling and laughing as she clasped the necklace close to her heart.

"Yay," she finally whispered, her voice now quiet and full of emotion. "Now I can carry Jazzy's heart with me everywhere I go."

He smiled, too, as he quickly shook dirty clothing from his body.

"Be careful from now on, baby girl. The necklace is very loose, so it'll probably come off easily. You could put it in a safe place until you get bigger, if you want."

But Alice shook her head defiantly. "No," she whispered firmly. "I want to have it with me wherever I go. All the time."

Jasper nodded then, and captured her hand in his once more. "If that's what you wish, baby girl."

She nodded, and a different smile lit her face at the mention of _wishes_. Instead of a joyful smile, it was a slightly mischievous one. "Know what I wished for when I blew out my candles?"

Jasper shook his head as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "No. And if you tell me, it won't come true."

"Yeah, it will," Alice said, and she sounded so sure. "Because you're the only one that _can _make it come true."

Jasper raised an eyebrow; he smiled, too, as he watched the little girl that he'd vowed to love and protect bounce around excitedly before him.

"What did you wish for, baby girl? I won't tell anyone. I promise. That way, it'll come true for sure."

She stopped bouncing, and instead wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. She laid her head on his chest, and sighed softly, happily. "I wished that Jazzy would stay with me forever and forever. Because you make me happy."

Jasper smiled, and rested his small, pale hand on her head. "Then I'll stay. As long as it makes you happy, 'kay?"

She nodded, and smiled.

" 'kay."

* * *

Say "awwwww" with me now! ^_^ I love writing little Alice, and protective Jazzy. And the necklace thing was inspired by my best friend — he gave me his "heart" when we were three. He's still my best friend, too.

**NOTE**: I know Jasper seems very mature right now — that will be explained soon. For right now, though, I'm just having run with the random snapshots of their life. Oh, and in case you didn't notice, each chapter will be a different year. Three years old, four ... and so on. IDEAS WOULD BE APPRECIATED! Please give me some cute ideas of what could happen. ^_^

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"I don't want to play with Emmett! He's _mean_! I _hate you_, Emmett!" Alice yelled finally, and, trying to wipe tears from her eyes with shaking hands, she ran away. Jasper glared at Emmett while the older boy just looked oblivious.

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 4!

* * *


	4. Year Four: Fight

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindrop**!

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Four_**

_**June 15th, Friday 2006 - 3:30 PM **— Third Person POV_

"I want to play, too!" four-year-old Alice whined, and her brother, Emmett, sighed and rolled his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest, and frowned at the little girl before him. Her brown hair framed her face softly, more straight now than curly. Her tiny hands were on her hips, and her glare was just as impressive if not more so than that of her brother's.

"Go _away_, squirt. Why do you hang around us all the time, anyway? Go make some friends of your own."

"No! I want to play with Emmy and Jazzy!"

Emmett scoffed, and then grinned. "Jazzy, eh?"

Alice blushed deeply, and tears of anger began to well up in her bright blue eyes.

Seven-year-old Jasper, sensing the tears and the anger and the anguish, quickly stepped in. He placed both hands on Emmett's chest, and shoved him backwards gently, but with enough force to move him away from the crying girl.

"Lay off, Emmett. She can play with us if she wants to. Besides, hide-and-seek isn't any fun with just two players."

But the damage had already been done.

"I don't want to play with Emmett! He's _mean_! I _hate you_, Emmett!" Alice yelled finally, and, trying to wipe tears from her eyes with shaking hands, she ran away. Jasper glared at Emmett while the older boy just looked oblivious.

"_What_?" he asked, his eyes wide with incomprehension as he sighed. "She always cries like that! She's just a crybaby."

"And you're a bully."

Emmett looked surprised; the smaller boy had never stood up to him before.

"What?"

"You heard me," Jasper snapped, glaring at him now. "You _never_ let her play with us. She's your _sister_, Em. If she believes that her own _brother_ can't love her, then who _can_ she love?"

Emmett just sighed and rolled his eyes once more. Jasper could see the pain hiding below the surface, though. Emmett knew he'd done something wrong; he just didn't understand it.

"She has _you_," he finally grumbled, and Jasper froze, shocked. His blue eyes betrayed no emotion, though; his face remained blank while a million thoughts and emotions battled in his head.

And then, he grinned.

Emmett was _jealous_.

"I might be her friend, but _you're_ her _brother_. The one she looks up to."

That made Emmett pause. He sighed, and frowned. "Ya really think so? She looks up to me?"

Jasper nodded, and crossed his arms over his chest. "I _know_ so. You really hurt her, Em. But there's nothing you can do for now. Let her cool off; she's still angry. Let's play tag for a while, and when I go home, you can talk to her."

Emmett sighed once more, but nodded. He didn't seem really into the game, though, and Jasper caught him easily again and again and again. He didn't notice much, though, because his mind was anywhere but in the large front yard of the Cullen's house. Instead, he was thinking of his baby sister.

Yeah, she was a girl. She was younger than them, too, but it wasn't like Jasper was telling him to let her do _everything_ with them. Just to play tag, or hide and seek. Maybe ... maybe _he_ was the one that was wrong. Maybe he should have let her play with him. Maybe ...

But, he realized, he'd already hurt her. _Maybe_ wouldn't undo the pain.

All he could do now was hope that she would accept his apology.

**_4:00 PM_**

Bronze hair hung haphazardly in concerned emerald green eyes as the tall, lanky teenager ran quickly into his sister's room. Her loud, pained cries echoed throughout the house.

"Alice?" he whispered, and she looked up only long enough to meet his gaze — and what he saw painted in her anguished eyes was enough to split his heart wide open. What had caused her to cry? Was she hurt? Had Jasper hurt her? Had —

"I hate Emmy! He's mean!" she wailed, and fifteen-year-old Edward Cullen couldn't help the tiny smile that spread across his lips. "I hate him! Hate him, hate him,_ hate him_!"

"Now, you know that's not true, Ali," Edward whispered, and he sat down beside his little sister on her bright pink, princess-themes bed. He ran a hand comfortingly through her messy, brown hair, and pecked her on the nose. She sniffled loudly, her eyes wide as she tried to hold back the sobs. "You love Emmy. And he loves you, too. He can be mean at times, but remember when he let you sleep with him during that thunderstorm?"

Alice nodded hesitantly, and hiccuped loudly. Edward chuckled, and continued talking softly as he took his baby sister into his arms.

"And remember the time he gave you his Fruit Loops because we'd run out and you wanted some? And just last week when he gave you all of the candy he had saved during Camp?"

"Uh huh," Alice finally whispered softly. "I 'member."

Edward smiled, and lifted Alice until she was seated comfortably in his lap. She laid her head against his chest, and sniffled, rubbing her hand under her nose.

"Now, tell me what happened, Ali," Edward coaxed gently. He smoothed her hair down, and wiped away a few stray tears. Alice hiccuped on a sob, and spoke quietly.

"Emmy and Jazzy were gonna play hide-and-seek, and I wanted to play, too. Emmy said I couldn't, and told me to go find friends of my own. I don't want different friends. I want Emmy and Jazzy."

Edward smiled softly, and began to rock Alice back and forth gently.

"You know, Alice, you will be starting school this fall. And though Emmett and Jasper will _always_ be your friends, you're going to have to meet other people. I'm not saying that what Emmett did was right — it was wrong, and he should have let you play with them. But ... Emmett and Jasper can't be your whole world."

Silence rang for several moments, and then,

"I like Jazzy," she whispered quietly, and Edward raised an eyebrow. He smashed his lips together to keep a light chuckle inside.

"Oh, really?"

"Uh huh. He stood up for me. Pushed Emmy away when he was bein' mean. He told Emmy that he should let me play."

Edward smiled, and a chuckle slipped past his lips unnoticed. He cocked his head to the side, and stared Alice in the eye. She reddened rapidly, the blush covering her soft, pale features in a matter of seconds. She continued, stuttering nervously now, "A-and he holds me when I-I'm scared, and d-during the thunderstorms, and he a-always holds my hand and he calls m-me his baby girl."

Edward smiled fondly as he thought of the little boy that had captured his baby sister's heart. He was a good boy; he was three years older than Alice, and a perfect little gentleman. When he'd held Alice for the first time, just hours after she'd been born, he'd whispered, _"I love this baby girl." _It was obviously where he'd gotten the nickname from.

"I like Jazzy, too," Edward replied. "He's a good friend to you."

"Uh huh," Alice agreed quietly. Edward smiled, and placed his hands on her shoulders before lifting her from his lap. He quickly moved from the bed, and held out his hand.

"C'mon, Ali. Let's see what Emmy and Jazzy are up to."

Alice's tiny eyes grew very wide then.

"No!" she objected, her bottom lip quivering as she fingers her blanket nervously. "I'll stay here."

Edward sighed, and shook his head in amusement. "Nah. C'mon, Ali. I'm sure Emmett is feeling pretty bad about the mean things he said. He doesn't look like he's having much fun. Jasper, either."

Alice frowned; she didn't like the sound of that. She didn't like it when her two best friends were sad. So she scrambled from her bed, and clasped her big brother's hand in her tiny one.

" 'kay," she whispered in a small voice, and Edward smiled encouragingly down at her, squeezing her hand for support.

They walked slowly, Alice still unsure. But though her body moved with doubt, her eyes blazed with determination. Though she was a teeny bit spoiled — what little girl _wasn't_? — she was beautiful, inside and out. She didn't like to see other people hurting, and would give just about anything to make them feel better.

**_4:15 PM_**

"Tag, you're it!" Jasper yelled, and he laughed as he stumbled away from Emmett, who was quite determined. Both boys tumbled and landed in the mud, chuckling as chunks of the messy brown substance covered them both. Their playful shoves quickly turned into a semi-serious wrestling match — which, of course, Emmett won.

"Rematch!" Jasper yelled, breathless. And just as he was about to jump Emmett from behind, a tiny wave and a sad smile caught his attention. He paused, and waved to the little girl who was standing on the porch. His momentary distraction, however, proved to be his downfall. Emmett, never one to refuse a rematch, quickly tackled Jasper to the ground. Blue eyes flew open wide, and a loud, almost girlie shriek filled the air.

When they landed on the ground, though, and Jasper had caught his breath to a certain degree, he glared at the larger boy who had tackled him.

"Not fair!"

But his half-hearted protests were instantly silence when a happy, tinkling laugh filled his ears. He smiled widely, and turned his attention to the porch, where Alice was laughing happily, pointing to the to muddy boys. Her cheeks were bright red, partly because of her excitement and partly because of the tears she'd cried previously.

"Jazzy's messy! Emmy's messy, too," she giggled, and she jumped up and down excitedly. Edward smiled down at her, and, after patting her encouragingly on the head, he turned and headed back inside the house; this was between sister and brother and best friend.

Silence rang thick in the air, and then a happy shriek filled everyone's ears.

Jasper looked up, surprised, and then chuckled when he saw Emmett grasp Alice around the waist and swing her into the air. Her bright blue eyes were wide, and her white sundress was now covered in mud.

"Emmy messy! Emmy put me down!" she cried, but she giggled at the same time, her beautiful laughter filling the air. Jasper smiled as he stood up, trying in vain to brush the mud from his clothing.

"Emmy, down!"

Jasper chuckled, his blue eyes sparkling happily as he watched Alice and Emmett. Yeah, he liked it when _he_ was the reason she smiled, but seeing his best friend and his baby girl so happy was worth it.

"Hey, wanna play hide-and-seek with us, squirt?" Emmett questioned, and Alice's gasped loudly; her blue eyes grew wide in wonder, and her happy squeal filled the air.

"Yay, yay, yay!" she cried, bouncing happily around in circles. The fact that she was covered in mud didn't seem to matter anymore. "I play! I play!"

Jasper smiled, and slowly approached the two Cullen children.

"Onetwothree not it!" Alice declared, and Emmett opened his mouth to echo the words.

Jasper, however, beat him to it.

"Emmy's it," Alice giggled, her cheeks flushed with happiness as she danced to Jasper's side. She grasped his hand in hers. When she caught the amused look on Emmett's face and his raised eyebrow, however, she tried to pull away.

But Jasper held onto her small, pale hand tightly.

"Hold on tight, baby girl," he whispered, smiling softly as she blushed deeply. "And I'll keep you safe."

" 'kay," she whispered, and she grinned sheepishly, still blushing, as she leaned into Jasper's side. "Play now?" she asked.

Emmett nodded, and closed his eyes. "ONE!" he began to count loudly, and he smiled as he heard Alice's excited shriek. "TWO!"

Eventually, he reached ten, and when he did, he opened his eyes. He saw no one; Jasper and Alice were already gone. Good. A challenge, then.

But just as he was about to move and begin the search, Alice flew out from behind the bushes, her arms stretched out. She crashed into him hard; her eyes were shut tightly and her cheeks were flaming red.

"I love you, Emmy!" she cried, and before he could respond, she'd run away. Emmett just stood there, shocked, as Alice stumbled back to an exasperated Jasper's side. She buried her head in his chest, and Emmett chuckled quietly. He didn't respond or run after her, though; he knew that she was embarrassed, and for once, he didn't jump at the chance to make it worse.

Just knowing she loved him was enough.

"Start again," Jasper sighed, but as he turned around to hide himself and Alice again, Emmett caught sight of the smile that lit his pale lips.

Trying very hard to refrain from commenting, Emmett began to count once more.

"ONE ... "

_I love you, Emmy_.

He smiled.

_I love you, too, Ali_.

* * *

On my homepage, there are pictures of Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose ( though she hasn't come into the story yet ). I have three each ( at various ages ) for Alice and Jasper, but only two for Rose and Emmett. CHECK 'EM OUT! Please! ^_^

**NOTE**: So I got a few more comments saying "Jasper seems very mature" and "Jasper seems very attached to Alice". No one was mean about it, just curious, so I though I'd post some thoughts here. I won't reveal much, but I will say that Jasper doesn't have many friends, and is very reserved. He's very close to Alice because she's one of the only ones who accepts him completely. More will be explained soon! I just wanted people to know that there WAS a reason for all of this. ^_^

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"If you _ever _hurt her again," he growled dangerously, and his blue eyes were swimming with anger and hatred. "I will _kill _you."

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 5!

* * *


	5. Year Five: First Kiss

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindrop**!

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Five_**

_**September 3rd, Monday 2007 - 12:30 PM **— Third Person POV_

"Kissing is icky," five-year-old Alice randomly noted, sighing as she leaned her head back against the thick oak tree. Jasper, who was sitting on the other side, sighed peacefully as he stretched out against the soft — though slightly wet — grass.

"Mmm," he agreed absently, his lips twitching as he fought a smile. Then, "Why do you say that?"

"I saw Momma and Daddy kissin', and it's icky. Why do they do that?"

Jasper shrugged, and sighed. He wasn't sure, either, though he was almost three years older than his best little friend. "I dunno."

Silence fell; the wind blew, and leaves scurried across the playground. The sound of excited shrieks and happy laughter floated around under the overcast sky and filled the area with a sense of peace.

Alice bit her lip and fiddled her fingers.

"Wanna try?" she whispered, and Jasper's eyes flew open wide. He coughed, and jumped in surprise, falling over. He quickly regained his composure, blushing as he leaned up against the tree once more. Instead of stretching out this time, though, he pulled his knees to his chest. His face was flaming.

"W-w-what?" he stuttered, and Alice ducked her head, glad that Jasper couldn't see her.

"N-nevermind," she said quickly, and Jasper blew out a breath of relief.

It wasn't that he had never imagined kissing Alice. Not that at all. He _had _— and that's what was wrong. She was his best friend's little sister, and more than that, she was just a little girl. She was his baby girl — and he'd promised to love her forever, to protect her.

"I like you a lot, Jazzy," Alice whispered, her own face bright pink as she curled her knees up to her chest. Her pure white sundress contrasted beautifully with her soft, black hair. Her wide, innocent blue eyes were filled with confusion, and sincerity.

"I like you, too, baby girl," he replied, and he reached a hand around the tree to rest it upon her own, pale fingers. She gasped in shock, but then smiled shyly as she curled her fingers around his rough hand.

"I — "

But her next words were cut off by the shrill ringing of the bell. They both jumped up quickly, though Alice stumbled. Jasper caught her before she fell, and their eyes met — both blushed deeply, though they smiled, too.

"See you after school, Ali," he whispered, and he paused, frowning in thought. And then he leaned forward quickly and kissed her softly on the cheek. His own cheeks flushed further — was that even _possible_ at this point? — as he ran off. Alice giggled, letting her fingers dance over the spot her Jazzy had kissed.

"Alice!" a voice yelled, and the little girl was snapped out of her daze. She looked up, and blushed once more as her eyes met those of her teacher's.

"Coming, Miss Allison!" she cried, and she grinned and giggled as she stumbled forward, too encased in her own little world to notice the one around her.

**_2:30 PM_**

_"Wanna try?"_

The two innocent words kept bouncing around in Jasper's head. His mind was filled with the little girl — he saw nothing but her. It was wrong, he knew ... but his mind was fighting against him. _Is it really so wrong to want to kiss her_? he reasoned with himself. _She's little, but I am, too. I'm only eight_.

He knew he loved her, of course. That had never been in question. But before he loved her in a protective big brother kind of way. Brother's didn't want to kiss their sisters ... did they? He'd have to ask Emmett.

... maybe.

Jasper sighed, and let his head drop onto his desk.

_Alice. Alice. Alice_.

"Jasper?"

He looked up, his blue eyes growing wide as his gaze met that of his exasperated teacher. He flushed, and stammered a nervous, "H-h-huh?"

"The answer?"

His blush deepened. He scuffed his feet on the floor, leaving marks as his gaze dropped to his desk. His eyebrows smashed together in an angry line as the class around him laughed. His voice was quiet, nervous, as he spoke, though. "I'm sorry," he breathed, holding back the tears of anger. "I didn't hear the question."

"Of course you didn't," the teacher sighed, frowning. She was used to Jasper not paying attention in class, though. "One more time, Jasper. _Once more_, and I'm calling your father."

Jasper winced, his eyes growing wide with fear. His frown quickly melted into a firm line of acceptance, though, and he murmured a quiet, "Yes, ma'am."

The teacher moved her gaze from his, and he sighed in relief. He'd have to pay more attention in the future. But it was so very hard to pay attention to anything but _her_. Even now, her face was in his mind, consuming him.

_Alice_.

Jasper sighed, and laid his head in his hands. His blond hair hung in messily in his bright blue eyes. Really, though, was it even _healthy_ to be so absorbed by someone? But, he realized silently, if anything every happened to his baby girl, he knew he'd die, too. He couldn't explain it. When he was around other girls, he noticed them — some were even very pretty, and his age, too — but he never noticed them like he noticed Alice.

With Alice, he knew everything about her. He knew that she hated apple juice, but would drink it if he put it in her sippy cup. He knew that she couldn't sleep without her favorite stuffed bear — the one Edward had gotten her for her third birthday — even though she told everyone that Mr. Huggles was only on her bed because he was afraid of the dark. He knew and understood every single expression and emotion that her eyes held.

Ever since the day he had held her for the first time, he had been completely under her spell. He would die for her, he knew. He would do anything she asked him to do. It was irrational and insane, really.

But he couldn't deny the fact that his heart beat only for her.

He knew, of course, that part of the reason he stuck so close to her was because he knew she would never leave him. She was the one person — besides Emmett, of course — that had accepted him for _him_. She didn't want him to be someone else.

She didn't hate him simply because of who he _was_.

_"I like you a lot, Jazzy,_" she had whispered.

But the fact that she accepted him like no one else would still didn't explain the way his heart had beat so fast when she had uttered those five, innocent words.

Jasper grinned, and then sighed as his eyes flickered to the clock that was tacked to the wall above his teacher's head. But before his mind could register that the clock said _3:30_, the bell rang.

"Remember!" Mrs. Sanders yelled above the excitement. "That your history presentation is due in the morning!"

Most of the class groaned; Jasper, however, grinned. History was the one subject that he excelled in. In everything else, he did OK, but in History, he went above and beyond. It was just so _interesting_ ...

But what was more interesting was the fact that, when he arrived outside of Alice's kindergarten classroom, she was already waiting for him. She grinned, blushed, and waved. He laughed as she danced to his side.

"We made pictures today!" she informed him, waving a white piece of paper in the air. "It's you, me, Emmy, Eddie, Momma and Daddy!"

Jasper glanced at the messily scribbled stick presentations of the six people he knew best. He could tell, because of the bright yellow hair, that the one standing next to Alice, holding her hand, was him.

"Very pretty," he told her, and she grinned, her eyes sparkling. She continued to recount her day excitedly as they walked through the halls. Her tiny feet scurried quickly across the tile, easily keeping up with Jasper's long stride. She swung their hands between them, and Jasper smiled down at her, barely watching where they were going.

"And Miss Allison wasn't happy because I was late to class, but she gave me two stars during nap time, anyway! I — "

"Got your sister with you today, Hale?"

Alice's excited chatter was cut off by the amused remark. Her eyes flashed, as did Jasper's, toward the boy that had spoken. He was much taller than either of them, though Jasper knew he was only in the third grade, too.

"Nuh uh!" Alice answered quickly, her eyes growing wide. "I'm not his sister. He's my best friend!"

Jasper blushed, nodding as he stared intently at his shoes. His eyebrows smashed together in anger as the boy spoke once more.

"I knew you were a loser, but I didn't think you'd be hanging out with babies, too!" he remarked, laughing as he shoved Alice's shoulder roughly. The little girl cried out, and tears began to fall from her wide, blue eyes as she hit hard into the ground.

Jasper stared at her for one brief second, and then his eyes grew dark. He moved to stand in front of her, and his eyes met those of the boy who had pushed his baby girl. His words were quiet.

"If you _ever _hurt her again," he growled dangerously, and his blue eyes were swimming with anger and hatred. "I will _kill _you."

Jasper's hands were clenched tightly, his fingers pale as they dug into his skin. Fingernails broke through the delicate layers, and blood stained his palms. His whole body shook with anger that he never believed he'd feel. His felt his body stinging with adrenaline, and it was all he could do to keep from hurting the boy in front of him.

Then,

"Stop, Jazzy! Don't hurt him!"

The voice, so quiet, so soft, was so much like one he had heard time and time again. A voice that begged for relief, but was never granted.

_"Stop! Don't hurt me! No, Taylor, please!"_

The shock shot through his whole body, and he suddenly felt drained. He choked on a sob, and he fell to the ground, his blue eyes glancing at his shaking, blood covered hands.

"No ... " he breathed, and he barely even noticed as Alice called out to him, or as the boy ran away. "No ... NO!"

_I will NEVER be like _**him**_!_

"Jazzy!" Alice cried, and tears were tracking slowly down her ashen cheeks now. "Jazzy! You're bleeding. Jazzy!"

"No," he choked brokenly, and his tears mixed with the blood as he reached up to bury his head in his hands. "No ... I c-can't be like him! No ... "

And as his whole world grew fuzzy, and then blacked out, the last thing he saw was Alice, crying and holding tightly to him.

_I won't be like him. I could never hurt ... my baby girl_.

**_4:10 PM_**

The first thing he saw was _her_.

She was standing on the chair beside the pure white bed, holding his hand. Her eyes were wide and brimming with tears. Behind her were her parents, and Edward and Emmett. A small, bitter smile flashed across his lips.

Of course _his parents_ hadn't come.

"Jazzy!" Alice cried, and she jumped up and down on the chair as he slowly turned to look at her. "You're awake!"

The bitter smile was quickly replaced by a soft one.

"Hey, baby girl," he whispered quietly, and his eyes flashed down to his own hands, clasped tightly in Alice's. White bandages covered his palms, where his own fingernails had cut deep into his skin. He winced, and Alice's father — Carlisle — moved quickly to his side.

"Were ... am I?" he asked quietly, and Carlisle smiled sadly.

"You're still at school. In the nurses office. Can you tell me what happened?"

He tried, but he couldn't form words. All he could think about was the fact that had had nearly hurt that boy. He'd wanted _so badly_ to hurt him, to make him feel the pain that Alice had felt.

"Alice was crying when she found us," Carlisle explained quietly. "Your hands were covered in blood. You'd passed out."

He remembered; he'd passed out because of the pain, and because of the emotions that had flooded his body like an ocean.

"I ... " he began, but he stopped, closing his eyes once more. "A boy pushed Alice. I got mad. I think I hurt myself."

Carlisle nodded, though he was still frowning. "Are you feeling better? Do you want to go home now?"

Jasper shook his head weakly. He didn't want to move. He didn't feel like he could. The physical and emotional havoc that had been wrecked on his body had left him weak, drained.

"No," he whispered. "Can I stay here a bit longer?"

Carlisle nodded, and smiled sadly once more. He left the room, though, herding his wife and two sons out with him. Alice was the only one that remained, and her blue eyes were wide and worried.

"I thought you were going to hurt him," she whispered softly, and Jasper closed his eyes.

"I thought so, too, Ali."

The little girl fell silent, and the next thing that Jasper felt was soft, warm lips on his cheek. He opened his eyes to see little Alice blushing. She grinned, and he did, too. He felt lighter, warmer, as she touched his lips gently.

"You scared me," she admitted in a small voice, and Jasper sighed, and patted the bed beside him. Alice looked at him questioningly for a moment, and then smiled happily as she scrambled into the bed beside him. They stared into each other's eyes for several moments, neither moving, or even breathing.

And then,

"Can I kiss you, baby girl?" Jasper whispered, and his hand was on her cheek. He was blushing, and she was, too, but she nodded.

"Uh huh," she whispered, and her blue eyes stayed open wide as Jasper leaned forward and pecked her gently on the lips. It barely lasted two seconds, but his lips felt like they were on fire when he pulled away. They both grinned, and then Alice layed her head on his chest.

"I think I really, _really_ like you, Jazzy," she admitted, and he chuckled softly.

He buried his head in her soft hair, and for one brief moment, he forgot everything. He forgot about the physical and the emotional pain that laced his tiny body, and the fact that he had very nearly hurt a boy who had simply been teasing them.

"I think I really,_ really_ like you, too, Ali."

_Because all he saw was _her.

* * *

So ... yeah. First kiss! It wasn't very romantic, but tell me this, what kiss shared between a five-year-old and an eight-year-old _is _romantic? Believe me, there will be a lot more romantic kisses in their future ... ^_^

**NOTE**: The next update will probably be in about 4-5 days! My schedule for this week is looking pretty bad. T_T Oh, well. Anyway! Whatcha think? Jazzy's life is slowly being revealed. ^_^ *HUGS JASPER*

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

The little girl plucked the earphones from his ears and then blurted, everything rushing back, "I think I love Jasper!"

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 6!

* * *


	6. Year Six: I Love You

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindrop**!

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Six_**

_**February 11th, Monday, 2008 - 5:00 PM **— Third Person POV_

Bright blue eyes grew wide as they stared at the offered, pale hand, and pink cheeks flushed even further as the little girl accepted the silent offering. The boy, blond and lanky, tugged her gently to her feet. Knobby knees were scraped, and worn jeans were stained from where the girl had fallen.

"T-thank you!" six-year-old Alice stuttered.

"You're welcome, Ali," Jasper murmured, smiling as Alice's hands dropped from his.

The little girl felt her blush deepen, and her heart beat fast in her chest. She stared at Jasper, unsure of what to say. He smiled once more, and brushed his hand against her cheek. She squeaked, and stumbled a few steps back before waving and running away.

"Bye bye!"

She wasn't sure where she was going, but she knew that she needed to tell _someone _about these confusing feelings that were coursing through her tiny body. She didn't understand why her heart beat so fast, so hard, whenever Jasper touched her, and she didn't understand why she stuttered when she talked to him.

"Edward?"

The voice wasn't her own, but it made little Alice pause in her steps.

Edward! Of course! Her big brother would know what to do — he _always_ did.

Grinning now, Alice ran quietly to her brother's room. Her Momma and Daddy were walking away, talking in hushed tones. She waited until they were downstairs before she made her way to Edward's room. She pushed the heavy door open a few inches, and a tiny smile spread across her lips when she saw Edward laying silently on his bed.

Her worries forgotten for the moment, she squealed, and ran toward him.

"Hey, Ali," he greeted her, smiling as she clambered onto the bed beside him.

The little girl plucked the earphones from his ears and then blurted, everything rushing back, "I think I love Jasper!"

A deep blushed followed the loud, embarrassed exclamation, and Edward raised an eyebrow at his baby sister. But then he smiled, and sat up, pulling her to where she was sitting on his lap, facing him.

"Oh, you do, do you?"

Alice nodded, playing nervously with the edge of Edward's blue, button-up shirt. She didn't meet his eyes, but she did speak, and her words were soft, quiet.

"Uh huh. For a long time now, I think. He's so nice to me! Even when Emmy says I can't play the games they play, he lets me. And when I trip, he helps me up, and he holds my hand when we play hide and seek and Emmy runs after us. And when he touches me, my heart goes _thump-thump-thump_ really, really fast."

Edward smiled, and chuckled very quietly. His amusement quickly faded, though, when he caught sight of the tears brimming in Alice's eyes. Her tiny lip quivered, and her cheeks were flushed with anguish.

"Oh, Ali," he whispered, and he brushed his fingers gently across her cheek. "Why are you sad?"

" 'Cause he doesn't love me, too!" she cried, and the tears began to fall then. "And I don't wanna be alone. Emmy has Rosie, and Momma has Daddy! I want someone, too."

Edward stared at his baby sister for less than one second before pulling her into his arms. He held her close, and spoke softly. How was it fair that such a little girl had to feel such pain?

"You have _me_. Forever, Ali — I'll be there for you forever. We have each other. I don't have anyone special, either, remember?"

Alice sniffed, and wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. She shifted on his lap, but didn't move. "But you've_ always_ been alone. You've never needed anyone special. You told me once that you didn't want to love anyone. An' that you were complete in yourself. But I don't want to be alone! I want Jazzy!"

She began to sniffle, but no more tears fell.

Then,

"Have you even told Jasper how you feel yet?"

Blue eyes grew wide, and soft, black hair tangled as Alice's head shook back and forth so fast that her brother wondered how she didn't become dizzy.

"_NO_!" she shrieked, burying her head in Edward's chest. Her cheeks flamed, and her eyes remained wide. "Of course not!"

Edward chuckled quietly. "Tell him," he advised. "I bet you _anything_ you'll be surprised by what he says."

Alice considered his words for a moment, and then scrambled from his lap and then his room, all the while blushing deeply.

And, as Edward watched her, he couldn't help but wonder if she was running away from Jasper, or running to find him.

**_7:11 PM _**

"So, are you staying the night?" Emmett asked, distracted, as Jasper moved his Rook across the chess board.

"Uh huh," he said, frowning and folding his hands in lap. He watched, enthralled, as Emmett touched each piece, sighing quietly every now and then as he debated silently which move to make. Finally, though, he grinned triumphantly.

"Checkmate!"

A tiny smile spread across Jasper's light pink lips. His eyes were playfully dangerous as he moved his gaze to meet that of his best friend's.

Emmett had fallen right into his trap.

"No," he said quietly, touching the Rook that he'd moved only seconds before and gently pushing him across the board before killing Emmett's Queen and trapping his King. "_Now_ it's checkmate."

"_What_!?" Emmett exclaimed, eyes wide. Then he frowned, sighing as he flicked his King over. "Damn it!"

"Emmy said a bad word!"

Both boys look up quickly to identify the new voice. Their eyes landed on the little girl in the doorway, who had both hands clapped over her mouth and wide eyes. But her surprised expression wasn't because of the word Emmett had uttered.

Instead, it was because she'd been caught.

When neither boy said anything, she moved quickly until just her face was sticking out from behind Emmett's partially closed door. Her eyes narrowed, and her lips were set in a spooky frown. Her voice was quiet as she spoke.

"I wanna talk to Jazzy," she whispered, and both boys blinked, confused, as they stared at the little girl.

"O ... Okay," Jasper relented quickly, confused but quick to give Alice whatever she wanted. He stood to his feet, brushing his hands against his worn jeans as he began to walk toward the door. Emmett rolled his eyes, and smirked.

"Don't take too long! I call a rematch, and Mom said that we could play video games after dinner."

" 'kay," Jasper smiled, nodding. His smile grew even wider yet when he stopped at Alice's side. She looked up at him, her eyes wide as she grabbed her hand in his.

"Somewhere _private_," she whispered secretively, and Jasper raised an eyebrow, amused, as Alice hauled him slowly through the halls. He simply followed her. But then again, that was what he always did. He would follow her anywhere, without question or comment.

No matter what, so long as she was happy.

But when they finally stopped in her bedroom — and she'd locked the door and pulled him over to her bed — tears began to brim in her soft, blue eyes.

He immediately panicked.

"Are you hurt?" he asked, eyes wide and hands fluttering uncertainlly. "Are you all right? Alice!"

She giggled, and then hiccuped, tears still streaking down her cheeks. Her eyes were shining with tears as she stared into Jasper's eyes. He fell silent, simply staring at her. Was it even possible to be so entranced by one little girl? But as he continued to stare into her gaze, he couldn't look away.

"Jazzy?"

"Hmm?"

Her voice was small, quiet, and her eyes were wide and full of heartbreaking emotion.

"Promise to never leave me, no matter what?"

Jasper smiled, and nodded as he pressed his fingers gently to little Alice's cheek.

"I promise."

Then, with her eyes shut tight and her cheeks bright red, Alice exclaimed loudly,

"I love you, Jazzy!"

Jasper stared at her, wide-eyed, for several seconds. And then his surprised expression — which had come more from her outburst than the impact of her words — melted into a soft smile. He laughed, and Alice's bright blue eyes popped open. She stated at him in confusion for several moments, her gaze meeting his. She couldn't look away, no matter how embarassed or flushed his intense gaze made her.

Finally, though, Jasper spoke.

"Silly girl," he whispered, and he took her hand into his. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers. "I love you, too."

He said it so causally, as if the fact that he'd _always_ loved her should have been as obvious as the fact that the sky is blue.

His words, though, seemed to break through the wall of silence that little Alice had so quickly constructed around herself.

"But is it OK to love you, since you're Emmy's best friend? And we only kissed that once, even though I've wanted to kiss you again for a long, long time. And whenever you hold my hand I get really, really embarassed and my heart goes _thump-thump-thump_, and I can't say the right words, and — "

Jasper cut her off by pressing a gentle hands over her lips. She stared into his eyes once more, blinking silently. His whole body was shaking with silent laughter, and it took several second for him to compose himself enough to speak.

"You wanted to kiss me again?"

Alice blushed, but didn't move her blue eyes from his.

"Uh huh."

Silence fell; it was an awkward sort of silence, but neither of them was willing to break it.

"Will you marry me one day?" Jasper finally asked, and tiny Alice's eyes grew very, very wide. Jasper blushed deeply, and ducked his gaze before hesitently looking up once more. "I want us to be together forever. I love you, baby girl, and I don't want you to ever love anyone else. Just me."

Alice blushed once more, and laid her head on Jasper's chest as she climbed into his lap. " 'kay," she whispered, smiling a tiny smile as she grabbed her hand into his. She played nervously with his fingers. "We'll get married one day. Promise."

"Good," Jasper said, nodding happily. "When we grow up, and finish school, I'll get you a ring and we can get married on the beach."

Alice's eyes lit up. "The beach? Really? Can we?!"

Japser laughed, and nodded. "Whatever you want, baby girl."

She smiles, and curled her tiny body closer to his.

"Whatever makes you happy."

* * *

Awwww. So, yeah, more conflict coming soon. This was just a cute, fluffy bit before we get to the more dramatic stuff ... ^_^

**IMPORTANT NOTE**: A lot of people are asking when the plot will show up, and commenting that they can't wait until Alice and Jasper grow up ... well, I felt the need to explain myself. Lol. This story is a side-story for COTN, and I didn't set up this plot-line in that story. So, now I have to wait until Alice and Jasper are as old as they were in the end of COTN to really introduce the plot - however, I will be skipping a few yeras next chapter, and some more of the plot-line will begin to shine through.

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

Carlisle frowned in worry as he pressed the back of his hand to Jasper's forehead. The little boy shook, and his whole body was pale and covered in sweat.

"You had a nightmare," he explained quietly; Jasper stiffened. "Want to talk about it?

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 7!

* * *


	7. Year Nine: Nightmare

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindrop**!

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Seven_**

_**April 2nd, Friday, 2010 - 7:00 PM **— Third Person POV_

Eleven-year-old Jasper sighed happily, and rolled onto his side. Nine-year-old Alice lay beside him in the green, dew-covered grass, her eyes bright as she giggled and pointed to the stars.

"Look, Jazzy! A shooting star!" she cried out, and his eyes followed the path she drew for him. He smiled as he watched the star shoot across the sky. "Make a wish, baby girl," he murmured softly, brushing a lock of black hair away from her beautiful eyes.

"But I already have everything I want," she breathed, and she grinned a she tucked her tiny body into his side.

Emmett made a gagging sound from beside them.

Jasper rolled his eyes and smirked, raising an eyebrow at his best friend as he pulled himself onto his elbows. "Shut up, Emmy. Know what? Rose won't stop talking about you. About how you gave her that flower, and how you always hold her hand and kiss her cheek, and — "

"OK!" Emmett yelled, blushing in the darkness. "I give, I give! But that's my _baby sister_, you know. You could be a little less obvious ... "

Jasper didn't feel the need to dignify that with a response. Another question, however, came to mind.

"Why are you even _out here_? With me and Ali, I mean. You _never_ follow us."

Emmett grinned now; even in the darkness, Jasper could see the smirk that covered his maturing features. "I'm a chaperone. Or, at least, that's what Dad called me. Apparently, I have to make sure you don't taint Alice's innocence _too much_. And I have to make sure that you don't unleash your repressed perversion on her."

Jasper paused, blinking.

"Your Dad didn't add that last part, did he?"

Emmett laughed a deep, booming laugh. "Nah. That was purely Emmett!"

"Shhhh!" Alice sighed in annoyance. "I'm listening to the darkness."

"You can't _listen_ to the darkness, stupid," Emmett replied, rolling his eyes. Jasper simply fell silent, as Alice had asked.

"Can, too!" Alice argued back, causing Jasper to grin a the obvious sibling rivalry. "I'm listening to the frogs in the river, and the trees in the wind ... and the sound of Edward on his piano," she added as an afterthought, and Emmett rolled his eyes once more.

"Then you're listening to the frogs, wind and Eddie, not the _darkness_."

"Emmett, cool it," Jasper said firmly, stepping in when he saw the tears of frustration pooling in Alice's eyes. Emmett paused, recognizing Jasper's tone. "Just because you're not deep enough to listen to things like the _darkness_ ... "

Emmett frowned in confusion, and then annoyed realization lit his eyes. "Hey! _I'm_ deep! In fact, I'm _so_ _deep_, that — "

His astonished ramblings were cut off, however, by the door slamming open. Esme's soft voice floated through the air. "Alice, honey! Would you please come in and help me set the table?"

" 'kay, Momma!" the little girl yelled. She scrambled quickly to her feet, and then paused, turning back to Jasper. He just stared at her with wide, smiling eyes. She blushed, pecked him softly on the cheek, and then stumbled toward the house.

Silence rang thick for several moments. Then,

"Jasper and Ali, sittin' in a tree — "

"Emmett," Jasper warned dangerously.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Emmett finished quickly, grinning as Jasper tackled him. The wrestling match didn't last long, though. Jasper was distracted, and Emmett had him pinned quickly. As the older boy was just finishing his victory dance, Jasper spoke quietly.

"Hey, Em, can I ask you something?"

Emmett stiffened, and dropped to the ground quickly.

"I'm not telling you about sex, Jazz."

Jasper's eyes grew wide and his cheeks flushed. "NO! Not that, Emmett! God," he sighed, and he rolled his eyes. Emmett chuckled quietly.

"Fine then. Ask away."

Jasper paused for one long moment, and then, "Does your Dad hit you? You know, when you do something wrong?"

Emmett frowned, cocking his head to the side. He didn't speak for a long moment. Then, quietly, "Yeah, I suppose so. When I'm being a brat, he punishes me. But when he's done, he always holds me and tells me he loves me."

Jasper refused to meet Emmett's questioning gaze. "Oh," he finally said. "So he doesn't like ... hit you or anything? Or Alice, or your Mom?"

Emmett shook his head fiercely, his surprised expression quickly melting into confusion. "No, never. Why do you ask?"

Jasper shrugged, sighing. His blue eyes, which normally sparkled so happily, were cloudy and dark. "No reason. Just curious. I thought ... but nevermind. Hey!" he said quickly, and he pasted a false smile quickly on his pale lips. "Wanna play video games?"

Emmett, who was easily distracted, grinned and nodded. "Sure!" he agreed enthustically, and seeing his friend so happy made a tiny smile — a _real_ smile — filter its way onto Jasper's lips. Of course, his worries weren't completely forgotten, but for right now ... he was happy.

**_3:15 AM_**

When he first heard the scream, his thoughts went to Alice - was his little girl hurt? But then he realized, as he scrambled quickly from Esme's side, that the scream wasn't that of a little girl's - instead, it was the pained cry of a little boy.

"Jasper," Carlisle gasped quietly, and he ran quickly down the hall and into the boy's room. The sight before him made his heart clench; Jasper was tangled in sheets, his usually pale skin flushed as he cried out yet again. His eyes were still closed; was he dreaming?

"Daddy, NO!" he cried, and he screamed in terror once more.

Carlisle bolted forward, pressing his hands firmly to Jasper's shoulders, to hold him in place and to wake him up.

"Jasper," he whispered gently, and he cast a concerned glance toward the top bunk; Emmett was peering down, confusion and worry etched onto his features.

"Is he all right, Dad?"

Carlisle just shook his head before turning back to Jasper; the boy was awake now, staring around with frightened eyes. His teeth chattered, and his hands shook as he held them out in front of him.

"C-Carlisle?"

The older man nodded, and climbed onto the bed next to the little, innocent boy he considered a son.

"I'm right here, Jazzy. Shh ... it's all right," he cooed gently, brushing his fingers through the sweaty, blond hair on top of Jasper's head. "Shh ... "

Jasper pulled his blanket up to his chin; his whole body shook and his face was pale, his hair matted down in sweaty clumps. "Is Daddy here?" he whispered, and his voice was small, frightened. Carlisle shook his head slowly, wondering if in Jasper's dream, his father had been hurt. But Jasper just nodded, and he seemed relieved. But with the little boy's sigh of relief came yet another round of body-wracking sobs.

Carlisle frowned in worry as he pressed the back of his hand to Jasper's forehead. He had no fever, but the shaking wouldn't stop, and neither would the sweating.

"You had a nightmare," he explained quietly; Jasper stiffened. "Want to talk about it?"

"N-no," Jasper said quickly, his voice shaking harder than his body. "I don't ... really r-remember it, actually ... "

Carlisle frowned down at the boy, but Jasper refused to meet his gaze. Instead, the lanky pre-teen concentrated on calming his breathing, and his body. He took deep, steady breaths in, and laid back on his pillow.

"I'm fine now," he whispered, and he closed his eyes, mentally and physically trying to pull himself back inside the walls he had slowly built over the years. "Sorry I scared you, Mr. Cullen."

Carlisle's frown was sad this time. Why wouldn't Jasper open up to him? He had always known there was something wrong. Was it a problem at school? At home? Had something happened to this little boy that had rattled him so badly that he refused to open up to anyone?

Not anyone, Carlisle corrected himself silently, still brushing his fingers silently through Jasper's hair. He opened up to Alice. He told Alice _everything_.

But ...

... maybe not _everything_. What if there was something so horrible that he had done — or that had been done to him — that he wouldn't even tell the little girl who seemed to control his every thought? Was he afraid to tell her, because he was afraid of her leaving him? Or because he knew that her knowledge of whatever had happened would only make her sad?

"Thank you," Jasper whispered brokenly, tearing Carlisle from his thoughts. "For ... everything. For being a good Dad to Alice and Em and Edward."

Carlisle just nodded, not speaking.

He was only eleven, and yet it seemed as thought he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. As though he understood feelings that even most adults didn't.

"Do you want to try and sleep again?" he finally asked, and his voice was still quiet. Jasper nodded. "Yes, please," he murmured, and Carlise nodded once more, standing silently to his feet.

"Goodnight, boys," he whispered, and both boys echoed the words back to him. On his way out the door, Carlisle flipped off the light, staring briefly into the darkness, wondering fleetingly what had caused the sobs that now echoed almost silently throughout the room.

**_6:30 AM_**

Jasper sighed quietly as he pulled his blanket up to his chin. The tears had finally stopped, and with the silence came a sense of peace. He felt safe here. Loved. He knew it couldn't last — he had to go home soon — but, for the moment, he was happy.

Smiling, he reached out, his pale hand covering the silhouette of the rising sun.

He knew, of course, what had brought his nightmare on — his question to Emmett. He hadn't had dreams like that for a long, long time — he'd learned to control them by simply blocking everything out. Over the past few months it had gotten worse, and he had reverted to a shell of his old self. The only one able to make him smile or laugh was little Alice. She always lit up his dark world, and her bubbly personality warmed him to the core.

But talking about it — in any form, even the most simple - a question — seemed to bring everything crashing back.

_"Yeah, I suppose so."_ Emmett had said._ "When I'm being a brat, he punishes me. But when he's done, he always holds me and tells me he loves me._"

Jasper sighed, and fought against the tears.

_"Make a wish, baby girl_," he had whispered, even though it was _he_ who, in that moment, had wished on the shooting star.

No matter how many times his father yelled at him, or told him he wasn't wanted, or said that he wasn't enough ... no matter how many times his large fist wrapped around Jasper's small arm, leaving bruises ... no matter how many times he told the little boy that he _hated_ him ...

He still wished, more than anything, that — once, just ... _once_ — his father would say _I love you_. That he would say, _I'm proud of you_. Or simply, _thank you_, when Jasper brought him his book, or another beer.

The little boy took in a deep, shaking breath, letting his eyes fall closed as his hand clenched into a fist around the silhouette of the sun.

And he was once more cast in darkness as he let himself slip inside the shell of _nothingness _that comforted him in a way that no one else was able.

_Daddy, please_ ...

* * *

SO ... yeah. Poor Jazzy. He's a mess, huh?

**NOTE**: So the next chapter will be the last flash. After that, everything will move forward at a steady pace. Oh, and I've finally finished outlining this story. I imagine it's going to be anywhere from 25-35 chapters long, and it WILL BE DRAMATIC. I nearly cried writing the outline. If you don't like drama, this isn't for you. If you do ... well, stick around, and bring a few boxes of tissues! ^_^

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"What's the difference? Why do _you_ care? Mom bleeds all the time." _When you hit her_, I thought, but didn't add.

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. !

* * *


	8. Year Ten: First Night

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindrop**!

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Eight_**

_**November 4th, Wednesday, 2011 - 5:34 PM **— Jasper POV_

"_Jasper_!"

I winced, my thirteen-year-old body stiffening as I paused in my silent steps. I turned quickly back to where the voice had come from, my eyes widening in fear as I moved into the living room where my father, Gavin, sat in front of the TV.

"Yeah, dad?"

The older man frowned down at me as I nervously pushed shaggy blond strands away from my face. His hair, too, was blond, but his blue eyes were full of anger and hate.

"Bring me a beer, kid."

I nodded quickly, and ran clumsily into the kitchen. My hands shook as I pulled open the refrigerator. My dad wasn't drunk, of course. No. He never allowed himself to get drunk. Just a beer or two, never more.

"Hurry up, kid!"

"Sorry, dad!" I yelled, and tears of anger welled in my eyes as I wrapped my pale hand tightly around the neck of the bottle. I ripped it from the fridge, and ran back into the living room, holding it out to my father. He was already angry from a long day at work, though, and his hand, large and calloused, stuck the side of my head. I fell backwards, landing hard and shattering the bottle under my hand. Pain flashed through my body, and I choked on a cry of pain as I cradled my hand to my chest.

"Ouch," I breathed, and I winced, trembling as I pulled shards of glass from my hand and brushed blood from the gash on my forehead.

"Oh, God, Jasper ... "

My eyes flashed up quickly to meet my father's gaze. His eyes were shining with regret, and fear.

"Jasper, you're bleeding — "

He wasn't able to finish his sentence, though, because before the words could pass his lips, I had slapped his hand away and stood to my feet. I turned to stare at my father, and my usually bright eyes were dark, cold.

"What's the difference? Why do _you_ care? Mom bleeds all the time." _When you hit her_, I thought, but didn't add.

"Jazz, I — "

"Just leave me the hell alone," I spat, and I ran for the door before my father had a chance to respond. My feet, bare and cold on the hard concrete, pounded relentlessly against the ground as I ran. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I knew that I needed to get away.

_Away from here. Away from **him**. _

But where could I go?

I didn't even realize where I'd begun running until I stopped in the perfectly paved driveway. Shooting pains flashed though my hand, and my head throbbed. My vision was blurring as I stared at the brightly lit, three-story house.

"Alice," I breathed, and I knew that I needed to see her. But ...

_I can't let the rest of them see me like this. They wouldn't understand. Only her_, I decided silently, and I quickly stumbled toward the back of the house, where I could crawl into the bushes and rest for a little while. Just until the sun went down, until the others went to bed ...

But that was the last thought that ran through my mind before I fell gratefully into an exhausted sleep.

_Alice_ ...

**_9:12 PM _**

"Jazzy?"

The tiny voice made me smile, but the smile fell quickly from my lips when the throbbing, searing pain in my hand reminded me of where I was, and _why_ I was here. I groaned, choking on a sob as I became increasingly aware of the pain.

"Ouch," I sobbed, and a second voice — louder, stronger — washed over me.

"I gave you some Aspirin for the pain, but it won't do much," Carlisle murmured gently. "If we go to the hospital, I can — "

I shook my head quickly, though. "No," I gasped, my eyes finally snapping open. "No hospitals, please."

Ten-year-old Alice, who was sitting by my side and holding my uninjured hand, chirped helpfully, "Jazzy hates the hospital."

Carlisle smiled at her, and reached out to ruffle her hair. She protested loudly, and I laughed softly as she tried without success to brush the mess down. "Daddy!" she huffed, and he chuckled before falling completely silent.

Then,

"Hey, Alice, could I have a moment alone with Jasper?"

I stiffened, fear rippling through my body. Did he know? Why did he want to be alone with me? Was he mad that I'd shown up at his house in the middle of the night? There was a sad smile on his lips as he watched Alice bounce from the room, and when the door closed softly behind her, he shifted his gaze to meet mine.

I turned away, closing my eyes and waiting for the inevitable.

"What happened, Jasper?"

Carlisle's voice was soft, quiet. I took a deep, shaking breath in, and opened my eyes. The pure, white walls glared back at me as I tried to steady my voice.

"Momma and Dad were yelling at each other, so I ran away. I didn't mean to come here — I'm sorry. I was just running, and before I knew it, I was here, and — "

"Shhh," Carlisle whispered, and he brushed shaggy, blond strands away from my eyes as I finally turned my gaze to meet his. The love and concern I saw there nearly split my heart wide open. Why? Why did Carlisle — a man who had always seemed so distant before — care for me so much? Why couldn't my own father love me, if this man could?

Carlsile spoke again, his voice still soft. His words were laced with a different emotion, one I knew well — suspicion.

"What happened to your head?"

I mentally pulled myself together once more, firming my resolve as I prepared to lie. _At least it isn't _all_ a lie. Momma and Dad fight all the time_, I thought.

"I tripped while running. I tried to catch myself, but there was glass on the road. It hurts," I said, and as I whispered the words, the pain flared once more. I whimpered, trying to hold back the sobs. I knew that I shouldn't cry, but the pain was almost too much. More than I'd ever felt before.

"I'll get you some more aspirin — maybe I didn't give you a large enough dose. And then I can bring you home. Your parents are probably very worried, not to mention Rose."

_Rose is the only one who would care_, I thought tiredly, and then Carlisle's words sunk in. My eyes flew open wide, and my heart beat fast, hard.

"No!" I cried, and my outburst was quickly followed by an agonized cry as pain raced like fire through my head and my hand. "No, please. I don't want to go home. I don't ... I don't want to watch _them _fight," I finished lamely, and I wondered briefly why no one saw through my lies. Why did no one realize what was happening?

_Why was I lying, to cover for **him**_?

"Can I please stay the night? I'll go home in the morning — I swear. Just the night ... _please _..."

Carlisle's gaze searched mine for one long moment, trying to see through the carefully constructed facade that I'd perfected over the lasy two months — since this had started.

He found nothing but apparent honesty in my eyes, though, so he sighed and nodded tiredly. He brushed a hand through his hair, and met my gaze once more.

"Just for the night. I'll call your parents before I go to bed."

I was about to protest, but then thought better of it. Carlisle was already suspicious enough, and more than that, I knew my father would play the part of the concerned, loving parent very well. I didn't need to worry — he was very good at lying. I was a lot like him in that respect.

"Thank you," I breathed, and I closed my eyes. Carlisle took this as his cue to leave; I heard him softly walk to the door, and then the shuffling of smaller feet. I smiled in the darkness.

"Jazzy?" a tiny voice whispered, and I breathed a sigh of happiness as Alice clambered into the bed beside me. I bit back a moan of pain when her hand brushed mine, though of course she still noticed. "Sorry," she whispered, and then, she kissed my forehead, right above the bandage. "I'll kiss it better."

I smiled. "Silly girl," I whispered, and I turned onto my side and wrapped my arm around her small body. She hummed in content, and sighed as she laid her head on my chest.

We lay like that for a very long time, neither of speaking, or even moving. My eyes had quickly grown used to the darkness, and now I could see her perfect, pale face. Her lips, so soft, were parted slightly as she breathed gently, in and out. Her little, button nose was powdered in the moonlight, and her eyes were closed.

I knew she wasn't sleeping, though.

"I thought you were afraid of the dark," I murmured gently, and her lips twitched as she fought a smile.

"I sleep without my night light now. I'm a big girl."

I closed my eyes, and wondered briefly what else I had missed.

"Since how long ago?"

She propped her little body up on one elbow, and stared into my eyes. "About a month ago. You haven't been around much. I thought you were ignoring me because I was being a baby — I was afraid of the dark, and slept with Mr. Snuggles. I don't sleep with Mr. Snuggles anymore, either — Daddy put him on the top shelf of my closet for me."

I closed my eyes once more, and breathed in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," I breathed, and neither of us spoke for a very long time after that. The only sound breaking the serene silence was our breathing, perfectly matched, soft and course. What else had I missed? Before ... before this all had happened, I knew everything about Alice. She was my baby girl, the most important person to me. She still was, of course — that hadn't changed. But she was right — I _had_ been ignoring her.

Alice noticed the expression of pain that lit my eyes, and she spoke softly, quietly.

"Are you hurting?" she asked, and she touched the bandage on my forehead gently. I barely even felt her touch, though.

"No," I said, and it was only half a lie — I didn't hurt physically, but emotionally, it was like there was a boulder on my heart, weighing me down and making it impossible to smile.

And then, my world shattered.

With seven simple words, my baby girl broke through every barrier that I'd set up to keep her out.

"Was it your Daddy that hurt you?" she asked softly, hesitantly, and her eyes were full of emotion. Her brown hair fanned out around her on the pure, white pillow — she looked like an angel. I had trouble answering for a moment, and not because of the question she asked.

Instead, I was speechless because of her beauty, so pure and untainted.

But then I remembered the words she had uttered so quietly, and I couldn't feel anything but regret — regret that I wasn't strong enough to keep a secret — and sadness, because how could I possibly be deserving of such an angel? Even more, how could I be deserving of such an angel, if I was so willing to lie to her?

Not to lie, I corrected myself silently. Just … not to tell her everything. Because I knew that, if I _did_ lie to her, and she later found out what was happening, it would hurt her a whole lot more than just telling the truth ...

Because I would have betrayed her.

"He got mad because I did something bad. He pushed me, and I fell on some glass. He didn't mean to hurt me," I said quickly, quietly, and then I could say nothing, because her tiny, warm hand was tracing my face. I shivered under her touch, and smiled as my eyes fluttered closed.

"Has he ever hurt you before?" she asked, and I found myself unable to lie.

"Yes," I whispered. "But never bad. He slaps me sometimes, and hits me. That's all."

And it was.

"Does he hurt your Momma, and Rosie?"

I stiffened, and anger poured through my veins. It melted away as quickly as it had come, though, because before I could even begin to feel it, Alice had washed it away. Her hands cupped my cheeks, and her bright, blue eyes stared into mine.

I spoke so softly, I was worried she wouldn't hear me.

"He hurts my mom a lot," I breathed, choking on a sob. I saw Alice's eyes watering with emotion. I wished I'd never told her anything. But, at the same time — and as selfish as it was — I was glad I'd told her, because it was nice to have help carrying the weight that seemed, some days, to be far too much to handle alone. "But why should I care? Whenever he hurts me, my mom doesn't do anything. She stands by, silent. Why should I care about her if she doesn't care about me?"

"You love her," Alice whispered, and I took a deep, shaking breath in. I didn't deny it, though I didn't acknowledge it, either. "Why don't you tell anyone?" she asked quietly, after a long pause. "If you told my Daddy, he could tell Bella's Daddy, and he's the Policeman — he could save you."

I smiled softly. "But I've already been saved. _You_ saved me."

"But I can't take away the pain," she whispered, and her voice was small, sad.

I paused, considering my words carefully.

"If I tell anyone … they'll take me away. They'll take me and Rose away, and I'll never see you again. You're more important to me that _anything_. I'd rather be hurt a million times than to be taken away from you."

"What if your Daddy hurts you again, though?"

"I'll run away," I whispered, and even as I uttered the words, I knew they were a lie. I would run away — whenever I could. But when I couldn't — when he was too strong, too fast for me — I would smile, and lie, and say, _No, it doesn't hurt_.

Alice was silent for a very long time, and I was sure she'd fallen asleep. But when I turned to look at her once more, her eyes were wide open, and pooling with tears. I felt my heart split wide open, and when I reached out to touch her face, the tears fell hard and fast.

"I don't want you to get hurt," she cried, and she curled her tiny fists tightly in my T-shirt. "But I don't want you to go away! I'm s-so selfish," she sobbed, and she buried her head in my chest. "I c-can't live without you. I l-love you. I'm s-so sorry, J-Jazzy!"

"Shhh," I comforted her, and as I watched her slight frame shake, I felt that hole in my heart slowly filling. Was it horrible of me to be enjoying her pain, because I knew that, since she felt pain, she truly _did_ care? I knew it was wrong — I should have been trying to take her pain away. But I simply held her, and whispered soft reassurances to her.

"I love you," she whispered again, and she held onto me even tighter, as if she was afraid I would disappear.

"I love you, too, baby girl," I breathed.

"Stay with me," she begged me sleepily, and I smiled, kissing her forehead.

"Forever," I promised, and I wish that I had known, in that moment, how fleeting our _forever_ would last.

* * *

You guys hate foreshadowing, huh? ^_^ Sorry! But, like I said, this is going to get dramatic. And I know a lot of you are going to think that Jazzy gave into Ali too easily — but he didn't! She asked him outright, and he can't lie to her. He knows that it would hurt her a lot more in the end if he _did_ lie.

**NOTE**: SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE SOONER! *Dies* Fanfiction was being a retard, and wouldn't let me into my account. The chapter was finished, but I couldn't get it to send to my beta, or to even put up! So! FF finally let me in today, and I decided to update right away. Love ya! BTW, this is the last flash - it's going to continue at a steady pace after this. I think. ^_^

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"Dance with me, Ali."

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 9!

* * *


	9. Act 1: This Present Darkness

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindrop**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 10, _Jazzy_: 13, _Em_: 16, _Rose_: 15

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Nine_**

_**Previously**_ ...

_"I love you," she whispered again, and she held onto me even tighBter, as if she was afraid I would disappear._

_"I love you, too, baby girl," I breathed._

_"Stay with me," she begged me sleepily, and I smiled, kissing her forehead._

_"Forever," I promised, and I wish that I had known, in that moment, how fleeting our forever would last._

_**January 2nd, Monday, 2012 - 1:55 PM **— Alice POV_

"I fell down," he said, and his voice was so full of conviction that _I_ almost believed him. But then I remembered him climbing through my window last night, blood falling steadily from the gash on his forehead. I remembered hiding the swelling as best as I could this morning before bandaging the gash, and I remembered his cry of pain when, at one point, I pressed the powder brush too hard against the tender skin. "I tripped on the front step," he continued, and I played nervously with my fingers as I waited for him to come back to my side.

"Who bandaged this for you?" my Daddy asked, and I swallowed hard as I waited for Jazzy's reply.

"My mom did," he lied smoothly, and my Daddy nodded.

"All right. Well, be careful — try not to break the scab open again. Your mom did a pretty sloppy job — it needs to be bandaged tightly until it heals, all right?"

Jasper nodded quickly, and then ran to my side, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet in the same moment. We were already running across the yard when he yelled a grateful, "Thank you, Mr. Cullen!"

My Daddy just smiled and waved as we ran away.

"Where are we going?" I asked, and Jasper grinned. "You'll see," he said quietly, and I felt my heart beat fast and my cheeks flush as he kissed my hand softly.

It had been two months since he'd shared his deepest secret with me, and nothing much had changed.

He still climbed through my window every night, and every morning I took away his pain the only way I knew how. I covered the bruises and the swelling with make-up, and I held him all night, chasing away the nightmares. Sometimes they still came, though, and he would wake up sweating and crying, trying to fight away the imaginary monsters that were, somehow, less frightening than the one waiting for him at home.

The one thing that _had_ changed, though, was the amount of bruises, and cuts, and swelling that I saw covering his pale body each night.

Every night, there were new bruises, new wounds. But Jasper never said much about them — just, _'how will I explain that one?'_ or _'it looks worse than it is, I promise'_. He never spoke a word about how it was his _father_ that hurt him.

He never complained.

He always said _'This pain is nothing compared to the pain of leaving you' _or, more recently, _'At leats it's me, and not Rosie' _and _'He stopped hurting my mom. She smiles more now'_.

Rosalie was Jasper big sister, and Em's girlfriend. She was really pretty. She was two years older than Jasper, and five years older than me — so we didn't play together a lot. She was nice, but she was really quiet, and I couldn't help but wonder sometimes ... if she had ever seen her Daddy hurting my Jazzy.

"Ali?"

I was snapped from my thoughts by Jazzy's soft voice. I smiled and turned to look at him, my heart beating fast as our eyes met. I couldn't speak; my mouth opened again and again, but no sound came out.

Jasper just continued to smile, and the sight of him so happy made my heart race.

"Dance with me, Baby Girl," he breathed, and he held his hand out, fingers scared and skin pale. I accepted his offering immediately; how could I possibly turn him down? I couldn't — and my mind was too fuzzed, in that moment, to warn him that I couldn't dance ... like, _at all_.

He was smart, though— he figured it out quickly enough.

I giggled as he hopped around in a circle, cradling one foot in his hands. "Ouch, that hurt," he hissed, and my amused giggles stopped very suddenly then, as I recognized the tone he spoke in — his voice was pained, exposing the same anguish he tried to hide night after night.

"I'm so sorry," I breathed, and I clasped both hands together as I tried to hold back tears. They fell, anyway. I knew I was being silly — I hadn't _meant_ to hurt him, and it wasn't the same at all. But still. I didn't like being the cause of his pain. "I'm sorry, Jazzy!"

He glanced up, his gaze concerned. Had he heard the way my voice had broken when I'd spoken to him? When his eyes met mine, though, he quickly moved across the hard ground and took me swiftly into his arms.

"Oh, baby girl — don't cry. Shhh ... I'm fine, see?" he whispered, and he wiggled his foot for me to see. "It doesn't even hurt anymore."

I hiccuped. I was being stupid, wasn't I?

"Promise?"

He smiled, and kissed me on the forehead.

"I promise, Ali."

But I didn't let it go that easily. He knew he could trust me ... didn't he?

" 'Cause when Daddy asks if you're all right, you sometimes lie. To the teachers, too, and to Emmett. You know you don't have to lie to _me_ ... right? I never ... never want to hurt you. I want to be the one to save you."

Jasper nodded solemly, and the smile slipped from his lips. "I know that, baby girl. Your trust is something I'll never doubt. Your dancing skills, however ... "

A giggle slipped unnoticed past my lips; I smiled, and looked up into Jazzy's eyes, a blush covering my cheeks. He just grinned, and then gently pressed his lips to my forehead once more. He knew I liked it when he did that — it made me shiver, but in a good way.

"I've never danced before," I admitted, and why would I? I mean, yeah, I liked dancing around the house, but I'd never danced with anyone else.

"Would you like to learn?"

I cocked my head to the side, confused. "Why?" I asked quietly, and Jasper smiled, his eyes moving away from mine as he shuffled nervously from foot to foot. His blond hair — longer now than it had been in a long time — hung into his sparkling eyes.

"See ... there's a dance, for the middle school kids, in March. And ... Ikindofwantedtoaskyoutogowithme."

I blinked, my eyes glazing over as I tried to make out what Jazzy had said. Too ... fast ... But the word "dance" had registered in my mind quickly, and helped clear up the other words.

Jasper took a deep breath in, and repeated his sentence more slowly this time, blushing like I often did. His cheeks puffed out and his eyes darted up at the sky before finally falling down to meet mine once more.

"Will you go to the school dance with me, baby girl?"

I grinned, and began to bounce up and down.

"Yes! Oh, _yes_! Do I get to wear a dress? Are you gonna wear a suit, Jazzy? Are — "

Jazzy cut me off, though, by gently pressing his lips to mine. When he pulled away, I clamped a hand over my mouth and my face grew very, very hot. Jasper chuckled airily, and pecked my cheek before leaning back and taking my hand into his. I smiled finally, grinning despite the violent blush that still covered my cheeks.

"Thank you, Ali. You've made me the happiest boy alive."

I giggled, and then I remembered something. I snapped my fingers, forgetting the dance, and even the way Jazzy had kissed me only moments before in the wake of the thoughts that now consumed me. "Oh! Momma is gonna take me to get my hair cut today. I ... " I trailed off then, dropping my eyes from Jazzy's. Would he be mad at me? "I want to get it cut really, really short, like Bella's was when she was sick."

Bella was my best friend — and my big brother Edward's wife. She couldn't see, though — she was blind, and she couldn't go out into the sun or she would get really, really sick, like she had been before. She'd met Edward about four years ago, when I was about six. They were married now, and oh! They had a baby — his name was Teddy, and he was my favorite baby nephew.

"Why would you want to do that, baby girl?" Jasper asked, and his voice was soft.

I shugged, and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Bella's gonna be able to see soon, and I want to show her how much I love her. I want to get my hair cut just like hers was, because she told me that she thought she wasn't very pretty at that time during her life. I thought ... that if I got my hair cut the same way for when she first sees me ... that maybe I could show her how beautiful I thought she was then, even when she was sick."

Jasper sighed, and I stiffened, thinking the worst. Was he mad? But then I felt his warm breath fan across my cheek, and I felt his smile as he kissed me gently.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed, and his voice was full of awe. "So loving, so caring."

I grinned, blushed, and buried my head in his shoulder. Now that I knew that Jazzy wasn't mad at me, I felt like I was floating.

"So ... " I began, and I smiled as I curled the fabric of Jazzy's shirt in my pale fist. "About this dance ... "

He smiled, and dropped down on one knee. His head bowed, and he held his hand forward, palm up and pale and soft. "Dance with me, my lady?"

I giggled, and clasped his hand tightly in mine.

A prince and his princess.

_I love you, Jazzy_.

* * *

Sorry this took so long to get out! O_O Seriously, this came out sentence by sentence. I have a terminal case of writer's block, and it's proving very hard to get past.

**NOTE**: I realize that this is short, and it seemed as though nothing was acomplished - and that's because this is the transition chapter from flashes to steady plot-line. A lot of the little things mentioned in this chapter will play a _big_ part a few more chapters in. SO PLEASE DON'T FLAME ME!

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"Jazzy?" she whispered, and her tiny hand caressed my cheek. I flinched, and choked on a cry of pain. "What ... what happened to you?"

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 10!

* * *


	10. Scene 2: Innocence

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 10, _Jazzy_: 13, _Em_: 16, _Rose_: 15

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Nine_**

_**Previously**_ ...

_"So ... " I began, and I smiled as I curled the fabric of Jazzy's shirt in my pale fist. "About this dance ... "_

_He smiled, and dropped down on one knee. His head bowed, and he held his hand forward, palm up and pale and soft. "Dance with me, my lady?"_

_I giggled, and clasped his hand tightly in mine._

_A prince and his princess._

_I love you, Jazzy._

_**January 5th, Thursday, 2012 - 7:10 AM **— Alice POV_

I sighed, and pushed the brightly colored fruit loops randomly around in the white, porcelain bowl. I reached up and brushed a lock of black hair from my eyes, smiling as I realized that after today, it would be too short to get in my way anymore.

But thinking of my hair quickly lead to thoughts of a certain blue-eyed boy, and the way he would run his pale fingers through it.

"Daddy?" I asked quietly, and I dropped my gaze to my lap, where my motionless hands now lay.

"Hmmm?"

He was distracted. I couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not, though, because I wanted to as him a question that had been weighing on my mind for the past several days _—_ months even _—_ since Jazzy had told me that, if we ever told anyone our secret, he would be taken away.

"If something ever happened to Jazzy's Mom and Dad, what do you think would happen to him and Rosie?"

Daddy dropped his newspaper a little, staring at me over the top of it. His eyebrow was raised in curiosity; he took a deep breath in as he carefully folded the paper and placed it down on the table in front of him. I hurriedly took another bite of my cereal, trying very hard to look casual.

"Well ... " he began, and I could feel my heart racing. "I suppose first their relatives would be contacted. If Jasper's mother or father didn't have any close relatives still alive, then he and Rose would be placed in a foster home until they were adopted. Why ... do you ask, sweetie?"

I didn't answer his question; instead, I asked another of my own. "Could _we_ adopt them?"

My father pressed his lips together tightly, and smiled the smallest bit. He reached over and ruffled my hair playfully, successfully coaxing a smile out of me. I giggled and tried to push his hand away.

"Go get ready for school, baby. You don't need to worry, all right? Jasper's mother and father aren't going anywhere."

_I wish they would_, I thought, but didn't add. Instead, I nodded and jumped up from my spot at the table. Before leaving the kitchen, though, I grabbed my lunchbox and an extra apple. I stuffed both inside my backpack, and threw it over my shoulder before bouncing upstairs where I shrugged off my pajamas and jumped into a pair of worn jeans and a bright pink sweater.

I was smiling as I joined Emmett at the end of the driveway, where the bus would be by to pick us up soon. But that smile slowly fell as the bright yellow bus rolled to a stop. Jazzy wasn't sitting where he usually was — he _always_ sat near the front, in the window seat, waiting for me to take my spot beside him.

_It's nothing_, I reassured myself silently as I stumbled along behind Emmett. _He's sitting somewhere else today, because our spot was taken_.

But even as I climbed into the bus and looked around, I couldn't see him. Had his Momma taken him to school? I knew his father hadn't — his Daddy never took him anywhere. Was he sick?

I bit my lip as the last thought crossed my mind, because I knew that when Jazzy said he was sick, he was always lying. Instead, he was hurt too badly to leave the house, or the cuts were too obvious. Whenever he didn't want anyone seeing him, he would claim he was sick, and his Momma and Daddy never noticed enough to make him go to school or even care.

I sighed, and dropped down into the seat beside Emmett. He glared at me, but I could see the playful twinkle in his eye.

"Whatcha doing, squirt? Where will Rosie sit?"

I swallowed hard. "I don't think Rosie will be coming today."

Em just blinked, and said quietly, "Oh. Because Jasper isn't here?"

I nodded, and thankfully he let it go.

"So can I sit beside you today?" I asked, and secretly I was hoping he would say yes. I needed my big brother right now, to encourage me and make me feel like everything would be fine even when I knew it wouldn't be.

"Sure, squirt. Why not?"

I just smiled, and leaned into his side. He didn't put his arm around me like Jazzy sometimes did, but that was okay, because whereas Jazzy always held me and stroked my hair to calm me down and encourage me, Em usually just ruffled my hair or poked my side.

But that was enough.

_Please, Jazzy _... I begged him silently, letting my eyes fall closed. _Please be safe_ ...

_**7:59 AM **— Jazzy POV_

"Where were you?" Rose whispered, and I glanced up at her, our eyes meeting. I just smiled sadly as she reached out to touch the barely concealed bruises that danced around my eye. She swallowed hard, and tugged on my hand.

"Some of the foundation is wearing off. Let me fix it," she whispered, and I nodded, my smile falling as I remembered Alice's gentle kiss this morning — the cause of my current problem. She had pressed her soft lips against the bruises when I had winced, declaring that she would kiss it better.

_If only it were that simple_.

"What happened last night?" Rose asked, quickly and carefully hiding the bruises. I noted absently how much faster and better she was at it than Alice, but decided I liked it better when my baby girl would touch me. I liked it when her fingers brushed my cheek, and when she would hold me.

"The same," I said, and I sighed. "We're going to be late for school."

"We have time. Tell me what happened, Jazz."

Her voice was firm, hard.

"Dad had too much to drink. I broke a plate while doing the dishes. He got mad. End of story."

Rose didn't speak for several moments. Her eyes met mine in the mirror a few times, but each time, she quickly looked away.

Finally, though, she spoke.

"This is wrong, Jazz. We have to tell someone! We have to — "

"No," I said firmly, cutting her off. I could hear the tears in her voice, and it made my heart ache. But I couldn't let her ruin the only happiness I had. "Don't. Just ... don't, please."

She stared at me, and her eyes were swimming with tears. I smiled sadly, and reached up to touch her cheek. "Why are you crying?"

She choked on a sob, and buried her head in her hands. "I'm so scared! I'm scared that Dad is going to hurt you again. I'm scared that one night, you'll sneak out and never come back. I'm afraid that you'll leave me here all alone, and I don't know if I could survive that."

"Oh, Rose ... "

I tried to speak, but I couldn't. I couldn't force the words out. When had she started feeling this way? When had she started believing that I cared so little for her? How could she possibly believe that I would leave her, and never come back?

"I love you, Rosie," I finally whispered. She didn't respond with,_ "I love you, too,"_ like she always did, though. Instead, she whispered, her voice small and scared, "I'm afraid that one day he'll hurt me, too."

I stiffened, and I felt anger ripple through every fiber of my body. I clenched my fists, and my teeth snapped together noisily.

"I will _never_ ... I ... "

I paused, and took a deep breath in. I pulled away from Rose just a little, until our eyes met. I stared into her gaze, willing her to see and believe my words.

"If he ever touches you ... I will _kill_him," I breathed, and the tears fell once more. I smiled sadly, and brushed them from Rose's pale cheeks. "C'mon," I said quietly, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen. "Let's get out of here. Skip school today. Let's do something fun, just the two of us."

"O-Ok," she stuttered, and I grabbed her hand in mine before pulling her to her feet.

I smiled, and finally, she did, too.

_**1:00 PM **— Alice POV_

I sighed, and dropped my head into my hands as I stared sadly at the apple in front of me. It lay innocently in front of the chair opposite to me — the one that Jazzy _always_ sat in.

Except ... this time, Jazzy wasn't here. I was alone. And I couldn't help but wonder ... if something had happened.

I quickly shook my head to dispel those thoughts.

Because what _could_ have happened? Jazzy had gone home early this morning, like always. He always climbed in through his own window — he was never caught. So what could have changed? Maybe he was too sleepy to come to school — he hadn't gotten much sleep last night, after all. The nightmares had been worse than usual.

Convinced, I nodded to myself — Jazzy had simply fallen asleep when he'd gone home.

Smiling now, I jumped up, grabbing both my tray and the bright, red apple in front of me. I dumped my trash, and was about to throw away Jazzy's apple, too, but thought better of it. What if he was hungry when he came over tonight?

I shoved the apple into my backpack, and hurried to class.

_Love you, Jazzy_.

_**2:45 PM **— Jazzy POV_

I was smiling as Rose and I walked hand in hand toward our house. Our day had been filled with laughter and happiness — something I couldn't honestly say that we'd shared in a long, long time. We'd gone to the park first and fooled around like we always used to _—_ we played on the slide, and the swings. The sandbox had been filled with eager, messy children, and together, we had all built a sand castle worthy of kings. Afterwards, we had simply laid in the sun for hours, holding hands and smiling in innocent bliss.

But as soon as we turned into the driveway, my smile fell and my heart fell.

"Oh, God. He's home early. Rose," I whispered, and I dropped her hand. "Run. Go around back; sneak inside, and go to your room. Lock the door, and don't come out for any reason."

She turned to me, and her innocent eyes were wide and filled with terror. "Jazz _—_ "

"_Go_," I whispered roughly. "And don't come out. No matter _what_. Promise me. Please, Rose ... promise me."

Her eyes met mine, and for one long moment, I was afraid she would say no. But then she leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. Her eyes were filled with tears as she met my gaze once more; finally, with one last glance behind her, she ran.

My eyes slipped closed, and I took one deep breath in. I moved quickly toward the front door. I was hoping to slip past him; maybe he was already drunk, passed out on the couch.

But ... it was never that easy, was it?

_**( - **Rose POV - **)**_

I tried to fight the tears as I ran into my room; I slammed the door, locked it, and pressed my ear against the hard pine. I choked on a sob as I heard the front door open _—_ Jazz was inside now. Maybe _—_

_"Where have you been?"_

The tears fell then; I couldn't hold them back. They coursed hot and fast down my pale cheeks. I dropped to the floor, gripping fist fulls of hair in my hands. I sobbed loudly, wishing more than anything that _— just once — _Gavin wouldn't hurt Jazz. But I knew that wouldn't happen.

_"S-school,"_ I heard Jasper stutter, and I could hear the fear that he tried to hide.

How was it fair?

He was so young.

So innocent.

_"Don't lie to me, dammit!"_

And yet he carried the weight of the world on his little shoulders.

_"I-I'm not lying! W-we were at school. I had to come home early — Rosie was sick."_

I _was_ sick — but only because I could do nothing. Because all I could do was sit here, and cry, as I listened to the anger I was helpless to deflect. The pain I couldn't stop.

_"The school called, and asked why you both were absent. I told them you were so sick that you could barely move. And know what? When I'm through with you, you _won't_ be able to move for at least a week."_

I cried out once more, and gripped tighter onto the strands of messy blond hair that hung haphazardly in my anguished eyes. I felt my stomach churn, and it was all I could do to not throw up. Why? Why?

_Why?_

_"No, Daddy, _DON'T_!"_

With a final sob of anguish, I fell forward onto my hands; the splintered wood dug painfully into my hands as I threw up. My vision was hazy, and I knew I had only seconds before I passed out.

_I'm so sorry, Jazz _...

* * *

Sorry it took me so long to update. Honestly, though, this is how it's going to be. This story is harder than any I've ever written before — for obvious reasons. So the udpates will be about 7-10 days apart. Sorry! But I hope that this story is worth waiting for. ^_^

**NOTE**: So you probably noticed that this chapter's sneak peak is the same as last chapters — sorry about that. But this chapter raged out of control, and I couldn't fit that particular scene in this chapter. It'll be in the next chapter.

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"Jazzy?" she whispered, and her tiny hand caressed my cheek. I flinched, and choked on a cry of pain. "What ... what happened to you?"

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 11!

* * *


	11. Scene 3: Arms Around Me

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 10, _Jazzy_: 13, _Em_: 16, _Rose_: 15

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Eleven_**

_**Previously**_ ...

I_ cried out once more, and gripped tighter onto the strands of messy blond hair that hung haphazardly in my anguished eyes. I felt my stomach churn, and it was all I could do to not throw up. Why? Why?_

_Why?_

_"No, Daddy, DON'T!"_

_With a final sob of anguish, I fell forward onto my hands; the splintered wood dug painfully into my hands as I threw up. My vision was hazy, and I knew I had only seconds before I passed out._

I'm so sorry, Jazz ...

**_January 5th, Thursday, 2012 - 7:10 PM _**— _Jazzy POV_

I wanted to run. I wanted to scream, to cry, to ... to simply disappear. The pain was almost too much — it hurt everywhere. It hurt so badly. My head throbbed, and my chest felt like someone was stabbing knives through it. Probably a broken rib or two. That would hurt for a while. My stomach was tender, and I knew I'd have a black eye in the morning. I'd have to skip school for a few days — there was no way that I could go like this.

I sighed, and gingerly pealed the black t-shirt from my chest.

I felt sick when I saw the black bruises that were already splashed across my stomach. I swallowed thickly to keep from throwing up.

At least I wouldn't get in trouble for not going to school — there was no way that ... that _he_ would even _let_ me go. It was better for him that way, because he didn't have to make up stories about how I was always bullied in school.

I sighed, and then winced as I pulled on a clean shirt. I threw the bloodied one into the hamper and reached up to touch my nose. I winced again, my eyes closing. It wasn't broken, but it would hurt for a while. He had been far angrier tonight than I'd ever seen him. I knew it wasn't only because Rose and I had skipped school. He and mom had probably gotten into another fight, or he'd had a bad day at work.

I took in another deep breath, and it caught in my throat.

_Rose_.

I knew she wasn't hurt — he never hurt her. Just me. It was some sick sense of justice — I was strong. I was a young man, so if he only hurt me and not women, then surely it was better. But he _didn't_ hurt only me, because I knew that Rose listened. She heard every single time he hit me. That was why I tried to never cry.

Frowning, I glanced out the bathroom door — no one was there, but still. It never hurt to be safe.

I quickly ran from the bathroom and up the stairs. In that moment, it didn't matter that every step hurt, or that it seemed as though someone was stabbing knives through my chest. All that mattered was getting to Rose, and making sure she was all right.

I knew she probably wasn't, though. She never was. Sure, she was never physically hurt, but still. Emotionally, she was always broken. She always told me, _I should have done something_. Or, _I should be stronger_, even though there was honestly nothing she could do. How could she fight off a man twice her size, and four times as strong?

I sighed, and quietly pushed the door to Rose's room open. I swallowed hard when I saw her laying on the floor, pale and unmoving.

"Rose," I breathed, and I dropped down beside her, pulling her small body into my arms. She was breathing evenly, but her body was shaking and I knew her dreams weren't happy ones.

I knew there was nothing I could do to help her, so I simply laid her down on the bed, and covered her up. I stood back, and simply stared at her for several long, silent moments.

I sighed, and dropped to the floor. I let my head fall into my hands, and I briefly wondered why I even bothered anymore.

Why not simply tell someone, _anyone_, and escape this hell?

But I knew the answer without even having to think.

_Alice_.

I loved her. I wouldn't leave. Ever. And wasn't it my choice to make? I was the only one he abused, so why should it be up to anyone else? Yeah, Rose always cried when it happened, but I was the one who received the bruises, the cuts. I was the one who felt the pain and the hate and the worthlessness. Dad didn't even hurt mom anymore — just me. So it was my choice to make, right?

It felt like it. But at the same time, I felt bad, because I knew that though Rose didn't hurt physically, she still did. And I knew that my mom wanted so badly to stop the pain, but she wouldn't tell anyone either. She was too scared.

I shook my head, sighing, and stood to my feet. I winced, and glanced back at Rose one final time before walking quietly from her room. I closed the door tightly behind me, wishing desperately that the thin, wooden barrier would be enough to keep her safe from our father.

I sighed once more, and ran quietly to the front door. There was no reason to climb out of my bedroom window tonight — the house was dead, silent.

I paused in the doorway, though, and glanced back through the silent house. As my eyes paused first on the pictures that sat innocently on the fireplace mantle, and then at the old, worn furniture, I couldn't help but remember happier times.

_What went wrong_?

I shook my head quickly, and closed the door quietly behind me. I leaned heavily against it for several long moments, and then pressed my lips together in a firm line.

And then I ran.

_Alice_.

**_8:10 PM _**— _Alice POV_

I sighed, and absently pushed my food around on my plate. White mixed with brown and green, and I frowned as I pressed my spinach into patties. Maybe if it was spread out far enough, it would look like I'd eaten at least half of it ...

"Mary Alice, eat your spinach," my mother scolded. I pouted, sulking further in my chair.

"But I don't feel good," I whined, and it was true. I felt sick to my stomach. I was so worried about Jazzy that I could barely eat. Even my mashed potatoes and chicken were only half finished, and I hadn't even touched my milk.

My momma frowned, and leaned over to touch my forehead. Her frown deepened, but even frowning, she still looked beautiful. I tried to smile, but I couldn't quite manage it.

"No fever," she mused, and I shrugged. "All right, baby. Try and drink your milk, though, and then you can go upstairs and finish your homework."

I nodded, and grabbed the glass cup in both hands. I sipped the white liquid slowly, all the while letting my eyes wander across the table. I wondered briefly if Jazzy had ever had a meal like this with his family — comfortable and happy. I sighed when I realized that the answer was probably 'no'.

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I sat my glass down hard, and clenched my fingers into the wood of the chair I was sitting on.

"Can I go now, Momma?" I asked, and my voice was quiet and sad. My momma's eyes flashed from my glass — which was still mostly full — and then to my face. She smiled and nodded, and I thanked her quietly before jumping from my spot and bolting up the stairs. I pulled my door open, and slammed it behind me before throwing myself onto my bed.

The tears came fast and hard, then.

_Jazzy!_ I cried silently, and I pulled my pillow tight to my chest. _I need you_._ Please_.

I couldn't help but worry that he was hurt, or sick. Why hadn't he come?

But just as the pain and worry was about to suffocate me, a soft tapping on my window pulled me from my thoughts.

I looked up and gasped.

"Jazzy!"

I completely forgot, in that moment, that I needed to be quiet. I couldn't risk anyone hearing me, or they would come and find Jazzy with me, which would lead to a million questions.

He simply smiled through the messy glass as I shoved the window open.

It wasn't until he stepped into my room that I saw the bruises, and the dried blood. His cheek was swollen, but his lips — soft, pink — were still turned up in a smile.

"Hey, baby girl," he whispered, and he jumped lithely into the room before he took me gently into his arms. I let him hold me; I didn't move at all. I was a statue in his arms, confused and terrified. What had happened? Had his Daddy done this to him?

"Jazzy," I whimpered, and it was only then that I realized I was crying once more. "What ... what happened, Jazzy?"

He didn't answer; instead, he gently took both of my hands into his and pressed them to the warm skin of his cheeks. I stared up at him with wide eyes, silently taking in the damage. _Oh, God_ ...

"So soft. So cold. I love you, Ali."

"I love you, t-too, Jazzy," I whispered; my voice shook and broke. But Jazzy continued to smile. He spoke quickly, and it was almost as though he was trying to convince himself rather than me. His words were forceful, as though he barely believed them but wanted desperately to.

"I love you. I can't leave you. It would kill me. What ... what _he _does to me, that's nothing in comparison. It hurts for a while, but if I left you I wouldn't be able to breathe anymore. I couldn't continue living if I couldn't see your smile at the end of the day, or if I couldn't hold you hand. You're my everything, baby girl."

I knew what he was saying ... and that only made the pain worse.

I began crying in earnest; loud, heaving sobs. I was glad suddenly that my room was on the second floor. There was less of a chance of someone hearing me.

Jasper smiled sadly, and touched his own hands to my cheek. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he murmured, and he seemed strangely emotionless in that moment. "Please don't cry, baby girl. I'll be OK. I promise."

"Y-you're hurting because o-of me!" I cried, and he shook his head. I didn't give him time to speak, though, before I spoke again. "You won't leave, you w-won't tell anyone because o-of _me_! If you didn't love me, y-you'd tell my Daddy, or s-someone else, and you wouldn't m-mind going away! _I'm _hurting you. _Me_!"

Even through the tears, I could see the confusion and pain shining in Jasper's eyes.

"You're all I have left, Ali. I don't mind so much," he said, touching the bruises that were surrounding his bright blue eyes. "I love you."

"_I wish you didn't_!" I cried, and I regretted the words before they were even out. I began crying again, and Jazzy pulled me close. I buried my head in his chest, and gripped tightly to his shirt. I muffled my sobs against his warm chest, and I tried desperately to calm myself down.

"You ... don't really mean that, do you?" he whispered, and I quickly moved my gaze to look into his eyes.

"I ... I ... I just don't want to hurt you anymore."

"It's too late," he murmured, and he began to gently brush his thin, pale fingers through my hair. "I love you, and there's no going back. Even if you push me away, I'll still love you. If you push me away, I'll have nothing. I won't live without you."

I knew what he was saying without him actually having to say it. But would he really take his own life if I were to leave him?

I knew the answer without having to actually think about it.

"I'm sorry," I finally said, and though it didn't seem like enough, it would have to be. Because though I knew I was the one hurting him, I couldn't very well leave him. By loving him, I had created a horrible, never-ending circle. Jazzy wouldn't leave me because he loved me, and it was his love for me that made him stay with his father, the one who hurt him again and again and again. But if I told him that I didn't love him so that he would leave his father, I would be hurting him then, too. Emotionally rather than physically, but still just as painful. "So sorry."

He simply smiled.

"You are my everything."

And it was enough, for that single moment, just to be held by him. It was enough to take away the pain, and enough to push away the fear. It was enough to make the absurd belief that staying would be better firm. It was enough to make me believe that everything would be all right.

"Let's go to sleep, baby girl. Everything will be better in the morning. I promise."

" 'kay," I whispered, and he took my hand and led me silently to the large, pink bed in the middle of my room. He laid down, and held his arms out for me — a silent invitation. I accepted it without a single thought, and ran into his embrace. I laid my head on his chest, and he tucked the blankets around us. He held me close, and I breathed in deeply of his scent.

And, right before I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, I vowed that I would do everything I could to make sure I never hurt Jazzy again.

* * *

Sorry that this chapter was so short, but it was intense and very hard to write. ^_^ I hoped you liked it, anyway! The next one shouldn't take quite as long. It's a little more lighthearted. The main, biiiiiig plot is coming soon, so watch out! A few more chapters, I'm thinking, before things start piecing together. ^_^

**VERY IMPORTANT NOTE**: As you might have noticed, the review replies I send have a very generic message and the sneak peak only. That is because there is so many people to send it to! But because of this, a lot of questions are going unanswered. SO! I started a FAQ section in my profile. Check it out!

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

She was still loving and supportive, but sometimes, when I looked at her when I was sure she wasn't looking at _me_, I saw a faraway expression lighting her gaze that made my chest tighten. Did she still believe that I would be better off without her love?

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 12!

* * *


	12. Scene 4: Broken Heart

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 10, _Jazzy_: 13, _Em_: 16, _Rose_: 15

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Twelve_**

_**Previously**_ ...

_He simply smiled._

_"You are my everything."_

_And it was enough, for that single moment, just to be held by him. It was enough to take away the pain, and enough to push away the fear. It was enough to make the absurd belief that staying would be better firm. It was enough to make me believe that everything would be all right._

_"Let's go to sleep, baby girl. Everything will be better in the morning. I promise."_

_" 'kay," I whispered, and he took my hand and led me silently to the large, pink bed in the middle of my room. He laid down, and held his arms out for me — a silent invitation. I accepted it without a single thought, and ran into his embrace. I laid my head on his chest, and he tucked the blankets around us. He held me close, and I breathed in deeply of his scent._

_So sorry._

**_June 6th, Monday, 2002 - 9:00 AM_**

**_Ten Years Ago_**

_Three-year-old Jasper smiled in accomplishment as he stood up and dusted the sand from his pale green swimming shorts. He spared his creation one final glance, nodded happily, and took of running. His tiny, bare feet caught in the sand several times, but each time he fell, he hurried to his feet and took off once more. The wind blew against him, and shaggy blond hair flew into his eyes. _

_Still, nothing stopped him._

_"Daddy!" he cried when the tall, blond man came into view. Brown eyes turned to meet his own bright gaze, and he was rewarded with a smile. "Daddy, come see what I made! Come see!"_

_The older man chuckled and nodded, and then offered his hand to the little boy. Cheeks flushed and eyes bright, the little boy accepted the offering and clasped his tiny hand into his father's much larger one._

_"Come see!" he said once more, and he tugged excitedly on the hand that had held his through every nightmare and every stormy night. "Come see!"_

_When they finally stopped, the little boy tore his hand from his father's, and stood, grinning shyly, behind his creation. He shuffled his feet in the sand, and glanced up from under long, dark lashes. When he saw the smile on his father's face, his chest swelled with happiness and he giggled._

_"It's very nice, Jasper," the older man, Gavin, said quietly, running his large hand gently over the messily made sand castle. The walls were crumbling and there was only one, lop-sided tower. Still, it was nice, because the hands of his only son had made it. "Very nice. I'm proud of you, little man."_

_Jasper blushed and grinned, and clasped his hands together behind his back. He felt like he would explode from the happiness that was filling him._

_"I love you, Daddy," he breathed in wonder._

_The older man smiled as the tiny boy reached up to wrap his arms around Gavin's legs._

_"I love you, too, kid. Always will."_

**_March 2nd, Friday, 2012 - 11:12 AM _**— _Jazzy POV _

_**Two Months Later **( Since the last chapter )_

I groaned, and lifted my head slowly from the desk. I blinked sleepily, trying to force the room into focus. Still, it took several minutes until I could see more than the exhausted haze that filled my vision. When I could see, however, I realized that I had fallen asleep — again — and that, once again, the teacher hadn't even noticed.

I smiled bitterly.

Well, that was the one good thing about being invisible — no one noticed. They didn't notice when I fell asleep, or when I came to school with a black eye or a swollen cheek. _I fell down the stairs_, or _I hit my head on my desk this morning_ were excuses I used far too often, but still ... no one noticed.

I sighed and shook my head, and as I dropped my head into my hands, my thoughts turned to my dreams.

_Why now_?

Why was I dreaming of _him_, of the times he had held my hand and told me that he loved me, that he was proud of me? Why couldn't I just hate him? It was times like this — when I remembered how he _used_ to love us — that I wondered if, one day, things could go back to normal. Maybe one day Dad would get a better job, or he and mom would stop fighting. Maybe one day we could be a family again.

But thinking those things hurt, because I knew it would never happen. There was no coming back from this. I _hated_ that man. I would never be able to tell him I loved him again and truly mean it.

I pressed my lips together in a firm line and shook my head once more, trying to dispel the thoughts that had come out of nowhere to crush me.

It didn't matter, I told myself. It didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was making it through each day, and being strong enough to hide the pain from the world. Alice mattered, too. She was the only reason _anything_ mattered. If I didn't have her, I knew I wouldn't still be here. The pain would have been too much. Maybe after the first time, or maybe after the last time, when he had told me that he hated me and that I was simply a mistake, unwanted and unloved. But it didn't matter when. It would have eventually piled up far too high, and I would have done something stupid.

"Mr. Hale?"

I looked up quickly, my hands falling to my desk. My eyes met those of my teacher; she was curious, and a little bit amused.

"Are you still with us?"

_Barely_.

I smiled sadly.

"Yeah. Sorry. I was just ... thinking."

My teacher frowned, worried now. "Are you all right, sweetie?"

I nodded, trying to make my smile wider. "Uh huh. I'm fine," I lied quietly, and then I reverted back into my own secret world, away from all the sympethitic stares of my classmates and away from the concern of my teacher. I was alone in this little world, and it was comfortable.

I breathed a sigh of happiness, and let my eyes slip closed.

**_September 4th, Tuesday, 2007 - 4:00 PM_**

**_Five Years Ago_**

_"Does it hurt, Momma?"_

_Eight-year-old Jasper frowned, and propped his head in his hands as he watched his mother from his spot on the big, king-sized bed in the middle of the room. She sat in the corner, in a small, wooden chair. Her bright blue eyes _—_ his eyes — stared back at him from the large mirror. She was gently patting some skin-colored powder on the bruise that lightly decorated her cheek._

_"A little bit. Not much, baby. Don't you worry."_

_Little Jasper sighed, though, his frown deepening. "What happened, Momma?"_

_She forced a small smile as she put away the foundation that she was holding. She didn't meet her son's eyes; instead, she simply stared at her reflection in the mirror._

_"I slipped in the kitchen this morning, and hit my cheek on the table."_

_"Oh."_

_Jasper was still frowning. His momma was clumsy, she always said. She was always hurting herself._

_"Why don't you go play outside with Rose?" his mother suggested gently. "I know she's sad because Emmett and Alice couldn't come over today."_

_The little boy nodded, and then he smiled a tiny bit. He jumped up from his spot in his parents' bed, and bounded to his mother's side. _

_"I love you, Momma," he whispered, and then he placed a very gentle kiss to her bruised cheek. He ran quickly from the room after that, closing the door hard behind him._

_His mother, though, could barely breathe. As soon as he was out of sight, she placed a hand over her rosy lips and choked on a sob._

_"Jasper," she breathed, and then she dropped her head into her hands as she began to sob loudly. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. Why can't I escape this hell? Why can't I make you smile all the time ... why can't I make you safe? I'm so sorry, baby boy. I'm so ... so sorry."_

_And then she couldn't say anything, because the pain was too much. She simply curled her knees to her chest, and cried._

_And, little did she know, that there was a little, blond haired boy standing outside her door, crying tears of his own._

Momma_ ..._

**_March 2nd, Friday, 2012 - 3:30 PM _**— _Alice POV_

He was smiling as he grabbed my hand into his. He laughed when I smiled and blushed, and he kissed my on the cheek when I asked him how his day had gone.

He looked happy.

But I knew he wasn't.

Sure, for the moment he was smiling. But what about when he went home? Or when he climbed through my window, hurting from more than the physical pain? I knew I was being selfish. I knew that _I_ was the one hurting him. But I couldn't stop, because though I knew that it would hurt _me _if I stopped loving him, I knew it would hurt him a million times more. How could I stop loving him, if it would only cause him _more _pain?

I sighed, and forced a smile.

"You all right, baby girl?" he whispered, and his fingers - cold, pale - danced across my lips. I just nodded.

"I'm fine. Are you?"

He sighed, and smiled sadly at me.

"I'm fine, Ali. I'm fine because of _you_."

I sighed, and huffed in annoyance.

We'd been having this arguement for over a month now.

"I'm hurting you!" I argured, and he paused in his step, reaching out to grab both of my hands into his. We were halfway home now, standing in the middle of a long, dusty dirt road. The trees above us were bright and alive, and the flowers were swaying in the wind. The wind was blowing our hair around, too, and as I stared unwillingly into Jasper's eyes, I couldn't help but think how beautiful he was. Even with a slight bruise on his cheek and a healing gash above his blue eyes, he was beautiful.

I blushed, and he spoke.

"You are _not_ hurting me. Why don't you _understand_ that!"

I winced, and tried to pull away from him. I hadn't meant to make him mad. I only wanted him to be happy. I bit my lip, and looked down.

He caught my gaze, though, and his eyes filled with pain when he saw the fear that lit my own gaze.

"God, I didn't meant that, Ali. I'm sorry. So sorry," he breathed, and he took me gently into his arms. "I'll _never _be like him. I'll never hurt you, I promise."

I just nodded. "But_ I'm_ hurting_ you_," I whispered once more, and I refused to back down.

Jasper smiled sadly, and cupped my cheek in his hands.

"Baby girl ... please, _please _listen to me. Yes, the reason I don't want to tell anyone is because I know I would be taken away from you. But _you_ are _not_ the one hurting me. If ... If I left, if I couldn't see you anymore, it would hurt more than _he_ will ever be able to hurt me."

"But - "

"Listen to me!" he whispered harshly, but this time he didn't scare me. My heart beat fast, but this time it was because of the intensity of his stare rather than the the tone of his voice. "I _can't_ leave you! Why can't you understand that? I know I would be taken away. I could come back one day, when I grow up ... but that would be _years_, baby girl. You'd move on. You'd find someone else to love, and then I truly would be alone. I'd have _no one_."

"I wouldn't move on," I whispered, and I felt hurt that he could even think that. But I couldn't blame him, because sometimes I thought about _him_ moving on. "I couldn't. Ever. I love you."

Jasper smiled once more, and the wind blew through his hair.

"I love you, too, baby girl. And that's why I can't go. Even if you didn't move on, I still wouldn't be able to make it through those years. I wouldn't be able to see your smile, or hold you, or touch you. I can't be without you. It would kill me. Every time I tell someone I love you, they just smile. But I know what they're thinking. They think that it isn't real, that we're just being silly because we're kids. But it _is _real. I _do_ love you. I always _will_ love you. It will never go away. This feeling ... it will never go away. If you ever stopped loving me, my heart would break into a million pieces, and I'd never be able to breathe again, because _you_ are the air I breath. The air I breathe and the ground I walk on. Without you, nothing means anything."

I took a deep, shuddering breath in, and moved my gaze to finally meet Jasper's bright blue eyes. His gaze was piercing. It was like he could see into my soul.

"Do you understand, baby girl?"

I nodded slowly, and laid my head on his chest. I was trying very hard not to cry.

"It still hurts, though," I whispered, bunching his shirt in my hands. I held on tightly. "I don't like hurting you."

"You're the one that saved me," he whispered simply, and he kissed my forehead.

I finally smiled, and then I sighed. I knew that neither he or I would give up. But it wasn't important anyway, because nothing would ever come of it. I couldn't leave him, and he couldn't leave me. That was all there was to it, in the end.

"I love you," I finally whispered, because it felt like there was nothing else to say and I was desperate to fill the silence that had fallen over us.

He chuckled lightly, and wrapped his arms around me. When I was cucooned in his warm embrace like that, it felt like nothing else mattered.

"I love you, too, silly girl."

And it was as simple as that.

**_March 10th, Wednesday, 2009 - 6:12 PM_**

**_Three Years Ago_**

_The boy's thin, pale hands quickly and nervously swept blond hair out of his frightened blue eyes. He swallowed thickly, and pushed open the door to his father's study._

_"Dad?" he whispered, and he clenched his hands and his eyes shut tightly. There was no answer, so he quickly opened his eyes once again, casting his gaze around the room. His father _was_ there, sitting in a chair in the corner. A bottle of beer sat next to him _—_it was full. That was a good thing, right? "Dad? Can you help me with my Math homework? There's a big test tomorrow, and I don't really understand it, and _— _"_

_As he spoke, Jasper walked closer and closer to his father. His words were cut off when his father stood quickly from his chair. As he moved, three empty beer bottles were revealed, and Jasper gulped, frightened. He clenched tightly to the textbook that was in his hands._

_"Stupid brat," his father mumbled blurily. "Leave me the hell alone." _

_J__asper gulped, and fought the stinging of tears in his eyes. He was used to this, though. His father always said mean things when he was drunk. He sometimes hit Momma, too, but she always told them that he didn't mean it, and he was really sorry when he had realized when he'd done. That made it OK, she said._

_Jasper wasn't sure he believed her, though._

_Still, though, he pushed forward. This test was important, and he wasn't afraid of his father._

_"I n-need help, Dad. I don't understand Long Division, and _— _"_

_"I said leave me the hell alone!"_

_Jasper winced, and he wasn't able to hold back the tears then. They came hard and fast._

_"Daddy ..._ _"_

_There were no words this time. Instead, all the answer Jasper recieved was a sharp slap to the cheek. The sting of pain was nothing compaired to the breaking of his heart. The man that he had always looked up to ... the man that he had always wanted to be like ..._

_"I hate you, Daddy!" Jasper yelled, and he choked on a sob as he ran from the room. His tiny, pale hand pressed tightly to the red, burning spot on his cheek, and as he ran, he could feel himself falling apart._

_That was the first time his Daddy had every hurt him._

_But it wasn't the last_.

* * *

THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE DANCE! Very, very, _very_ important. Things will explode in the end of that chapter + the beginning of the next. Look out for it; it should be out in five-six days!

**NOTE**: I'm sorry I didn't send sneak peaks for this chapter. But! I jsut finished like three seconds ago - no joke. It takes me up to two days to send out sneak peaks, and I figured that you all would like the **WHOLE** chapter rather that just a snippet. So! Please don't kill me!

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

I sniffled, and brushed away a stray tear. I scanned the crowd once more, and clenched my fists tightly in the warm, soft material of my dress.

_He hadn't come_ ...

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 13!

* * *


	13. Scene 5: It Ends Tonight

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 10, _Jazzy_: 13, _Em_: 16, _Rose_: 15

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Thirteen_**

_**Previously**_ ...

_"It still hurts, though," I whispered, bunching his shirt in my hands. I held on tightly. "I don't like hurting you."_

_"You're the one that saved me," he whispered simply, and he kissed my forehead._

_I finally smiled, and then I sighed. I knew that neither he or I would give up. But it wasn't important anyway, because nothing would ever come of it. I couldn't leave him, and he couldn't leave me. That was all there was to it, in the end._

_"I love you," I finally whispered, because it felt like there was nothing else to say and I was desperate to fill the silence that had fallen over us._

_He chuckled lightly, and wrapped his arms around me. When I was cocooned in his warm embrace like that, it felt like nothing else mattered._

_"I love you, too, silly girl."_

_**March 9th, Friday, 2012 - 7:30 PM **_—_Jazzy POV_

I frowned deeply as I stared at my sister.

"Rosie, I don't think — "

She turned to stare at me. No ... not to stare. To _glare_ with bright, amused eyes. I simply blinked a few times and pouted, slouching further into her huge, pink chair. She turned her attention back to the full-length mirror, and began ignoring me again. I sighed in annoyance, and rolled my eyes. But then I blushed when I realized that if it were _Alice_ wearing a dress like ... _that_, that I probably wouldn't mind so much.

I decided — as I coughed to cover up my squeak of surprise — that I'd never tell Em that, and perhaps I wouldn't even bother Rose about her dress anymore.

"C'mon!" Rose said suddenly, pulling me from my embarrassed thoughts as she tugged me to my feet. I jumped in surprise, and then nodded, slowly smiling. I glanced at her dress once more, and then sighed and shook my head. The neckline dipped a little too low, and it was tight around the waist, but it wasn't bad, I had to admit. And I knew it would be a lot better than what most girls were wearing — after all, tonight was Rose's _High School_ dance, and most of the girls at my _Junior High_ dance were probably going to be wearing worse dresses than Rose.

So I let it go.

" 'kay," I said, and then, "Is Em driving you? It's at that fancy hotel in Port Angeles, right?"

Of course, the Junior High kids had to make do with the gym. It was the High School kids that got the fancy hotel.

"No. We're going to meet at the hotel. Momma said she'd drive me," Rose said, and her smile was brilliant. She was so excited — she hadn't stopped talking about it for weeks. I was just happy that it was Em taking her — I trusted him. He was the _only_ one, actually, that I trusted. Rose was a very beautiful girl, and even though I was young, I knew exactly what guys wanted with pretty girls. I didn't want that for Rose, and neither did Em.

I smiled, and wrapped my arm tightly around Rose's shoulders as we began to walk slowly down the stairs.

"Love ya, Rosie," I whispered, and then my words were cut off by a louder, more gruff voice.

" 'the hell are you wearing, you damn slut?"

I could see the tears in Rose's eyes, and I tightened my arm around her shoulder before turning my hard, angry gaze toward our father.

If you could even call him that.

"Go to hell, Dad. Leave Rose alone. It's a _dress_, or are you too drunk to remember that?"

I'd never stood up to my dad before. It felt good, though — I felt strong, and I felt as though I could do anything. In that moment, nothing mattered except the fact that the man standing before me was the one who had always hurt me. I took a step forward, and I could feel the heat coursing through my veins.

"Go change, you little bitch!" he roared.

And then he pushed Rose — she fell, her head hitting hard and loud against the staircase railing — and the heat coursing through me turned to fire.

_I won't stand idly by any longer._

This ends tonight.

**_7:32 PM _**— _Alice POV_

A soft sigh escaped my lips as I silently tore the soft, pink petals from the flower that I had picked for Jazzy. I let my pale fingers dance over the soft, white dress I wore, and I chuckled quietly as I remembered picking it out.

Bella had been there, and Teddy, too. Momma and Bella had helped me pick out one that made me look beautiful, and Teddy had given his approval of the white one I wore now quite loudly. In fact, everyone in the store had looked over and laughed when he'd squealed. Bella had blushed and laughed as she'd tried to get Teddy to stop squealing.

I smiled at the memory, but my smile quickly melted into a worried frown as I remembered the reason I was sitting alone under the dark blanket of clouds that embraced the usually bright sky.

_Jazzy hadn't come_.

The dance had started half an hour ago. There were kids dancing and laughing and having fun inside — I could hear them. But I was alone outside, trying not to cry as the cold, harsh wind blew over me.

_Jazzy _...

My fingers started shaking as I grabbed onto the final, light pink petal and, as I pulled it roughly from the dead flower in my pale hands, I felt the first tear fall.

_Jazzy, where are you ..._ ?

Had something happened? Had his daddy gotten mad again?

Or ...

Had he simply realized that I was right, and that he would be better off without me?

But I shook my head quickly, trying to dispel the thought. He wouldn't leave me, not if he loved me. He told me that he couldn't live without me — and I knew he wasn't lying about that.

But even though I _knew _that Jazzy wouldn't leave me, the doubt remained. My heart seemed to weigh a million pounds as I wiped away tears and reached a shaking hand toward another of the flowers that I'd been unconsciously destroying for the past half hour.

_He loves me_ ... I breathed silently. My fingers tore one pink petal off, and I watched as it slowly fluttered to the ground.

_He loves me not _...

But even as I thought the words, I knew they were untrue.

_He loves me_ ...

I tore yet another petal off.

_He loves me not_ ...

I could see that there were only five petals left; I smiled shakily, and clutched the crumpled flower to my chest. It was stupid, I knew, but the simple reassurance that the wilted, torn flower in my hand offered was enough to make a tiny smile light my lips.

_He loves me_.

I jumped quickly from my seat on the cold, stone wall, and bolted inside.

_I'm coming for you, Jazzy_, I though silently as I ran. _Please be all right_.

**_7:51 PM _**— _Jazzy POV_

I winced, tears slipping freely from my eyes as I dodged yet another blow. I was angry and upset, but most of all, I was hurting. Why? Why did my own _father_ — the man who was supposed to love me and encourage me and accept me no matter what — _hate_ me so much?

"Ihate you, and your little bitch of a sister!" he yelled, and I cried out in pain as his rough fist clipped my jaw. I was thrown across the floor, my back hitting hard into the wooden structure behind me. I choked on a sob, throwing my head back in pain.

"Stop!" Rose cried weakly, and I glanced through blurry eyes to see her sitting up, holding bloody fingers gingerly to her forehead. I felt anger pour like fire through my veins once more, but I couldn't stand this time. I felt weak. Dizzy.

But I couldn't give up. I couldn't allow ... I couldn't allow _him_ to hurt Rose.

"Leave him alone!" I heard her cry, and then she screamed in pain.

"Shut up, bitch!"

I grasped tightly onto the table I had been thrown into, and stood shakily to my feet. I brushed blood from my lips — my jaw was aching, and there was blood filling my mouth — and turned my gaze toward the man that I had learned slowly to hate rather than to love.

"Leave her ... _alone_," I growled, and my fists clenched tightly as I moved slowly forward. "Don't you _dare_ touch her."

Gavin's eyes flashed, and his lips turned up in a sick, twisted smirk. He laughed deeply, and when he met my gaze again, I felt my stomach lurch.

"Too late, boy. She's _mine_, and I can touch her whenever and_ however_ I like."

I understood his words, and I felt sick. I fell forward, catching my weigh painfully on my hands. I threw up violently, glancing over to where Rose was sitting. She was whimpering quietly, curled into a ball against the wall. Her beautiful eyes were shining with tears, her whole body shaking.

"I'm s-sorry, Jazz," she whispered, and nothing hurt more than the fact that _she_ was apologizing for what _I_ could have stopped. "So s-sorry."

I closed my eyes tightly, barely feeling the pain when Gavin kicked my roughly in the ribs.

_Another broken, maybe too. What's it matter anymore? This pain is _nothing_ compared to what Rose must be feeling. I deserve this, don't I? _I _caused this, didn't I? I could have stopped it_.

"You alive, kid?"

Another kick. I coughed violently, blood mixing with the vomit that my head rested in.

"Know what, kid? Want to know what I've done to your little slut of a sister? How I've touched her? How I've made her touch _me_?"

I choked on a sob and sat up quickly. More blood spilled from my lips as I stood slowly to my feet once more. I barely noticed.

"Shut _up_," I growled, and he simply laughed. He moved down until he could stare into my eyes, and the fact that it was _his_ eyes that I stared into every time I looked into the mirror made me sick.

"_Make me_," he breathed, and then he straightened up and stepped back, laughing as he did.

"No, Jazz! Don't!" Rose cried, but I barely even heard her. My mind was filled with anger and hatred, and I couldn't see or think or even breathe.

"I'll kill you," I warned him quietly, dangerously, and he smirked that sick, twisted smirk once more.

"Try, you little brat. Better yet ... let's make a wager. If you win — if you can keep me down — I'll let you walk away."

I nodded, easily accepting that.

"But if I win ... if I win, I get to ... _show _you ... how beautiful your sister is."

"Go to hell!" I yelled, and I took a quick step backward. He simply laughed once more, brushing a rough, scarred hand through his dusty blond hair. I glared at him, brushing blood from my lips and trying to think quickly.

If I lost, Rose would pay. She would be hurt again and again and again and there would be nothing I could do. There _was _nothing I could do. I could have ...

But I chose not to dwell on those thoughts. I _knew _that I was the cause of Rose's pain — _I_ was the one who had insisted that we stay quiet. Because I didn't want to be unhappy — because _I_ didn't want to be away from Alice — I had put Rose through hell.

I knew I couldn't save her from the past.

But I _could_ — I _would_ — save her from the dark, bleak future that seemed the only possible outcome of this fight.

"Deal," I breathed angrily, and I took a single step forward. Along with anger, fear, too, was pouring through my veins. How could I possibly win? This was a fight I was going to lose. But I _couldn't_, because if I did ...

I shook my head, trying to quickly dispel those thoughts.

"Come on, boy," Gavin taunted, and he laughed, too. I felt the stinging of angry tears in my eyes. Why!? Why wasn't I strong enough? Why couldn't I save Rose from the pain?

I glanced quickly around, looking for something that could help. There was almost nothing — a glass vase, books, a table. Nothing that could help me.

"_Kill_ me," he whispered, his voice dripping with amusement and hatred. "Know what? I used to love you, kid. When I was blind. When I couldn't see that you and your sister had ruined my life. I was going to go to college, be a doctor. Then your momma got pregnant with Rose. I dropped out of Harvard — _Harvard_ — so I could support her and the baby. I thought that it would be OK — I loved them, right? And love could get us through anything."

I didn't speak. Instead, I took a step backward, wiping blood from my lips and trying to find a way out. Maybe if he kept talking, if he was distracted enough ...

"But I was wrong. Do you want to know who I am? I am _nothing_, and a _nobody_. No one cares about me. I was supposed to be great. Everyone was supposed to love me, to look up to me. And what did I get instead? A stupid bitch who does nothing but cry and a useless, _weak_ son_._"

I was trying not to cry, not to let my anger get the best of me.

I could hear Rose whimpering quietly in the background, and outside I could hear the soft roar of passing cars. I knew I could run - we lived on a busy street, surely my father wouldn't dare kill me in front of so many people? But I knew I couldn't leave Rose behind, so I had to stay.

"I wish you had never been born. I wish that I had never met your mother."

I glanced toward the kitchen, and my eyes paused for one brief second on the boning knife that my Mother had been using earlier in the day.

_Maybe_ ...

"I think I'll kill you," Gavin mused, and he laughed as he moved forward and gripped tightly onto my hair. I winced, but didn't say a word. "I've already taken care of your mother."

I gasped, the tears finally falling.

_Momma_!

"I'll keep Rose, though. She really is a beautiful young woman. I love her body."

I glanced once more toward the knife, through the tears. The handle stuck out of the sink; if I could only grab it ...

I pulled myself roughly from Gavin's grasp, the tears flowing faster as the pain flashed through my body.

"But more than that, I love how she cries out for me to stop. I love her _pain_."

I could feel the anger and hatred burning through me now. I could barely see — my vision was stained red. In that moment, I wasn't myself. I was someone else, and the only thought running through my mind was to kill him.

He deserved it. He'd hurt me. He'd hurt Rose. And Momma ... he'd hurt her, too, and maybe really bad this time.

_Kill him_.

"It feels good to make the cause of _my_ pain suffer a little. Don't you think?"

I didn't respond. Instead, I ran.

"Get back here, you little brat!"

My whole body was shaking as I wrapped my hands around the knife. My fingers were thin and pale, but gripped heavily to the wooden handle.

My father ran through the doorway.

I closed my eyes, and ran forward.

_This ends tonight_.

* * *

Do you forgive me? For not updating forever? I think, honestly, that this makes up for it.

**NOTE**: Don't worry. This is far from over. What happens when Alice shows up? At the hospital? What happened with Rose, and how will she work through it? How will Jasper deal with killing someone? What will happen to Rose and Jasper? What happened to their mom? What about Carlisle, how will he feel when he finally sees what he was blind to? How will Em react to what happened to Rose? How will Edward react? Lol. Just giving you a taste of future chapters ...

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. However, Anon. reviewers will NOT receive a sneak peak! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"I killed him," Jasper whispered quietly, and there wasn't a hint of regret in his voice. "He's dead ... right?"

REMEMBER TO REVIEW! IF YOU DO, I WILL SEND YOU AN **EXTENDED** SNEAK PEAK OF CH. 14!

* * *


	14. Scene 6: Open Your Eyes

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 10, _Jazzy_: 13, _Em_: 16, _Rose_: 15

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Fourteen_**

_**Previously**_ ...

__

"It feels good to make the cause of _my_ pain suffer a little. Don't you think?"

I didn't respond. Instead, I ran.

"Get back here, you little brat!"

My whole body was shaking as I wrapped my hands around the knife. My fingers were thin and pale, but gripped heavily to the wooden handle.

My father ran through the doorway.

I closed my eyes, and ran forward.

_This ends tonight_.

_**March 10th, Friday, 2012 - 10:22 PM **_— _Jazzy POV_

The world around me was a blur. I heard voices — frantic voices — and a cry of anguish that I would recognize anywhere and would give anything to soothe.

"Jazzy! Jazzy! Oh, no, Jazzy ... " my angel cried, and I ached to reach forward, to take her into my arms and soothe her.

But I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. I could see anything — my world was dark, black. I could barely feel, either. The only thing I felt was the pain, and the anger and the hatred and the fear that was still pumping like fire through my veins.

Still, though, the feelings that Gavin awoke in me were nothing compared to the flame that Alice's soft touch, her quiet voice caused. When she wrapped her tiny arms around me, the pain that flared was only second to the quickening of my heart and the warmth that seemed to spread through my body.

But then I heard more voices, and the words they spoke shattered my world once more.

"Female, early teens. Some head trauma, possible concussion. Light bleeding — put pressure on the wound, just like that ... " a soft voice instructed, and then, further away, I heard shuffling and more voices.

"Male, mid-thirties, possibly early forties. Open, bleeding abdomen wound. Light head trauma, maybe a light concussion. He's losing a lot of blood. We need to get him to the hospital."

Then,

"Carlisle, help me move him!"

My world — already bathed in darkness — crashed down around me.

_Carlisle_.

He was here.

He _knew_.

Or maybe he didn't know exactly what had happened — I don't think anyone did, really — but he knew that something was wrong. He knew that someone had started the fight that had ended so badly. He knew, finally, that something terrible had happened, and had been happening for a long, long time.

"Jazzy," a soft voice spoke, and I could feel warm, wet tears on my cheek. They weren't my own, and that hurt even more. "Daddy said you're gonna be okay. Rosie, too. Your daddy is hurt really badly, though."

_Good_, I thought, and then, _I hope he dies_.

"Your mommy isn't here, though. Is she gone? Someone should call her and tell her that you and Rosie are going to the hospital, or she might worry."

_Momma_!

I choked on a sob, and that seemed to scare Alice. She cried out, but I barely even noticed. I tried to cry out, but all that passed my lips was a strangled sob.

_Momma_!

Where was she? How come they hadn't found her, too? Had Gavin been lying — was she all right? Had he not hurt her? But I knew he had. He would never say something like that just to get to me. I knew he wasn't lying.

"M-Momma!" I cried, and as the word passed my lips, something seemed to break free inside of me. My eyes shot open, and I threw my head back, coughing loudly. Alice screamed, and immediately there were warm, comforting hands on me, holding me down.

"Jasper, shhh ... everything's all right. Calm down, please," the voice begged. I glanced wildly in the direction where the comforting words were coming from, and a new round of sobs set in when I saw the anguished, worried eyes of Alice's father.

"C-carlisle ... please h-help Momma ... "

"I'm sure she's fine, Jasper. She's not here. _Calm down_, please. You're going to hurt yourself."

I let out a strangled sob, wishing more than anything that Carlisle would understand my anguished words.

I tried once more.

"H-he hurt her! H-help her! Please, _help her_!"

Carlsile was silent for one long moment during which only my broken sobs could be heard. When he spoke, his voice was low and dangerous. His warm, comforting hands left my body, only to be quickly replaced by Alice's soft tough.

"Charlie," he growled, and another shock of pain ran through me when I realized that Bella's father was here, too. "Watch that bastard. Lock him up. Do whatever you have to do to keep him away from these children. Seth, Paul — you're with me. We need to find her. We need to find her _now_."

I began to cry once more as I heard the shuffling of feet and the soft murmur of angry voices.

_Momma_ ...

"She'll be fine," a small, soft voice whispered, and I almost believed the words of that angel that sat by my side. "She'll be OK. I bet you anything she will. She strong, just like you, Jazzy. So strong."

I smiled through the tears, and grasped harder to the hand that held onto me. I let my eyes fall closed once more, and I tried to relax as I was gently lifted onto a stretcher.

I felt at peace, finally, for the first time in so many years. With Alice holding my hand and whispering soft reassurances, how could I not feel at peace? I knew I should be angry and sad and confused, but instead I was numb. I was numb to everything around me.

And then I heard the words — those seven simple words — that turned my world upside down and crushed my to pieces.

_"I don't think she's gonna make it."_

**_1:22 AM _**— _Alice POV_

"Daddy, is he gonna be OK?"

I glanced up from where I sat at Jazzy's bedside to where my father was checking over his chart. He looked up and gave me a small, sad smile.

"He'll be fine, sweetie."

"What's wrong with him?"

I didn't bother asking what had happened; I already knew, and somehow, Daddy knew that. He hadn't asked any questions yet, but I could tell by the way he looked at me that he knew. He knew what had happened, what had _been_ happening.

"He's just a little roughed up. He'll be fine."

I sighed, and turned my gaze away from Daddy. I brushed my fingers over the bandages covering Jasper's forehead, and then to the ones on his arms, his stomach.

"No, I mean ... _how_ is he hurt? I need to know exactly what's wrong. It'll make me feel batter. Please, Daddy?"

As I whispered the final plea, I glanced up through tear-filled eyes, begging silently to know. I _needed_ to know.

My father sighed, and then he pulled a chair noisily over to where I sat. He reached out a hand hesitantly to touch Jazzy's forehead.

He spoke then, very softly and quietly.

"He has a minor concussion, and several cuts on the back of his head. I would guess he was thrown into a table, or a wall." Daddy's fingers moved swiftly and yet somehow still hesitantly downward, to gently probe the bandages covering Jasper's cheek. "His jaw is bruised and his cheek was split open, probably from blunt contact. His shoulder," Daddy whispered, and he brushed the bandages that extended from Jasper's next all the way down to his stomach. "Was dislocated and shattered. It should heal well; physical therapy might be necessary, but he's not in any pain, don't worry. Besides that, he has several nasty bruises and cuts. A few ribs were cracked. They'll heal quickly."

I was silent for several long moments, trying not to cry. I knew that if I spoke, the tears would come. So instead of speaking, I crawled from my chair and into Jasper's bed, curling close but not close enough to hurt him. I closed my eyes, unable to meet my father's gaze.

"Get some sleep, sweetie," he whispered, and as he spoke, I could hear the sadness in his voice. He kissed me on the cheek, but I didn't turn to look at him or even open my eyes.

Instead, I curled closer to the boy that I loved and prayed to whoever was listening that he wouldn't be taken away from me.

_I love you, Jasper_ ...

_Jazzy POV - **Flashback**_

_Blood was everywhere. It coated my hands, and my fingers slipped as I tried to grip tightly onto the handle of the knife. It smelled sweet, and yet it made me dizzy. Seeing so much of it, everywhere, was just too much. I swallowed thickly, blinking my eyes a few times to clear my gaze._

_What I saw then made the tears surface once more, but this time I wasn't sure why. Why did I care if I'd hurt him? He'd hurt me, and Rosie, and Momma, for so long. He'd ... he'd raped Rosie. He'd probably killed Momma. I didn't care what he'd done to me, but in hurting me, he'd hurt Alice, too, and that was unforgivable._

_Suddenly the tears came faster, and not because of regret._

_"I hate you!" I cried, and I threw the knife down, barely noticing as it clattered loudly on the ground. I clenched my bloody fists together, and kicked Gavin hard in the side as I continued to cry. "I hate you! I HATE YOU!"_

_The tears wouldn't stop. They poured hard and fast, and I knew that it was only the beginning. A million more tears would follow, and a million more after that. Being strong didn't matter anymore. Who was I being strong for, anyway? In the end, it was Rose who had been strong for me. She had hid her pain, and made me believe that she was all right, that he wasn't hurting her. In the end, because I'd tried to be strong, to hide everything, Rose had gotten hurt. She'd been hurt in ways I could barely even fathom. Because I had believed I was the only one being abused, I had rationalized my decision to keep quiet, to tell no one._

Since I'm the one being hurt, it's my decision, isn't it?

_I cried harder, choking painfully on the sobs now. I kicked Gavin again and again, wishing I could make him feel even an ounce of the pain he had caused. His eyes were closed, though, and I knew he was unconcious_

_"I hate you!" I cried once more, and then I collapsed to the ground, dropping my head into my bloody hands._

But I hate myself more_._

_I could feel the blood on my hands staining my hair, and my skin. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore._

I'm so sorry_ ..._

_I curled my knees close to my body, ignoring the pain in my shoulder and in my head._

I'm so ... so sorry _..._

_And then, I heard something I never dreamed that I'd hear. I listened, unbreathing, as the front door slowly creaked open. Soft footsteps padded across the bloody carpet, and I closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath as I listened to tiny hands search across the wall for the light switch._

_I knew who it was. _

_I knew, but I didn't want to accept it._

_"Jasper?" she whispered, and then she flipped the light switch on._

_And all I heard after that as I slipped into a deep, nightmare filled sleep, was her terrified cries._

So sorry_ ..._

**_9:10 AM _**— _Carlisle POV_

I breathed a deep, pained sigh as I leaned against the doorway to Jasper's room. He was awake now, but not talking. He wouldn't speak, or even so much as look at anyone besides Alice. He held her hand and brushed his fingers through her hair, and she whispered softly to him, reassuring herself at the same time as she tried so desperately to give him hope.

"Everything will be fine," she whispered, again and again, and I knew that neither one of them believed it. Nothing would be fine. Everything would change, and though some things would change for the better, others wouldn't.

Because I knew that both Rose and Jasper would be taken away. Perhaps far away.

"Jasper?" I whispered, and though he didn't look at me or even speak to me, I knew he acknowledged my presence. "Can we talk?"

He simply shrugged. I smiled the smallest bit, and then moved to sit beside him on the already crowded bed. He shied away from me, though, and as he curled closer to Alice, I felt a stab of pain tear through my heart.

"Sorry," I breathed, and as I whispered that one, simple word, I felt like I was apologizing for so much more than simply crowding and scaring him. I was apologizing for being blind to what had happened. I was apologizing for his pain, the pain that I could have prevented if only I'd opened my eyes far enough to see.

But I hadn't, and there was nothing I could do but help both Jasper and Rose through the aftermath of the terrible ordeal they'd gone through.

"Do you want me to tell you how Rose is doing?"

Jasper swallowed thickly, and opened his pale lips to speak. No sound came out for the first several moments, and then he whispered softly, "Rose won't be fine for a long ... long time." He paused once more, and then went on. "What about Momma? She's dead, isn't she?"

I didn't want to answer his question, but I knew he would take my silence as a definite yes. So instead, I spoke quietly, softly.

"She's alive. She's in the ICU, but it doesn't look good. God, I'm so sorry Jasper. The baby didn't make it, and — "

Jasper's eyes widened, and he turned to look at me with surprise shining in his gaze.

"Momma was pregnant?" he whispered, and I wished in that moment that I had never told him. How could I possibly add to the pain he was already feeling? But instead of being sad, he looked relieved. "The baby is the lucky one. He got away. He didn't have to live through that hell."

I almost scolded Japser for cursing around Alice, but managed to hold my tongue. That wasn't important right now.

"He's happy now," I agreed quietly. "He's free."

We fell silent for several long moments then. I refused to make the first move, though. If Jasper wanted to know more, he would ask. I wasn't going to push more pain onto his tiny, fragile shoulders.

Finally, though, he spoke.

"Is Momma gonna make it?"

I looked down, unable to meet his desperate gaze. I let my head hang back as I took in a deep breath.

_Why_? Why Jasper? Why Rose? Why had this happened to _them_? Why had I never noticed? Why had they never told anyone? There were millions of questions, and yet so few answers. There was a million pounds of guilt to be passed around, and it seemed as though everyone wanted a piece of it. I felt like I deserved it all, though. This little boy, who I'd known since he was born, had been suffering before my very eyes, and I hadn't noticed a thing. And now, his mother was dying, and his sister had suffered more than any fifteen-year-old should ever have to suffer.

"It doesn't look good," I finally admitted in a small voice, and as I did, Jasper clenched his pale fingers into tight fists. "And your father — "

"I killed him," Jasper whispered quietly, and there wasn't a hint of regret in his voice as he spoke. "He's dead ... right?"

I sighed, and moved my eyes to meet Jasper's gaze once more.

"Jasper ... Gavin is still alive."

Jasper's face paled, and his fingers clenched tightly around the pure, white blanket that covered his small body. I stood up, turning to leave. But I paused, closing my eyes, when Jasper spoke so softly, so frightened.

"If Momma doesn't make it, Rose and I will have to go far, far away ... huh?"

I clenched my fingers tightly around the door frame, wishing I could lie, wishing that I could at least give Jasper the comfort of home.

But I couldn't.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, and then I walked away.

_I'm so sorry_.

* * *

So I suck. I _know_ I do. But this is my life right now: Finishing school, sorting through College acceptance and rejections, working overtime to pay my first semesters room and board, and trying desperately to have a social life. Oh, by the way, I totally fail at that last one.

**NOTE**: So I have decided to stop sending out sneak peaks. It's going to be a long time between updates — more than a week, at the very least. And I find it really stupid to spend days sending out sneak peaks when I could just put up the whole chapter. PLEASE, though, keep reviewing! I could **really** use the support right now, and it only takes a second. **Please**?

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! So you don't need an account to review. )_

* * *


	15. Scene 7: It's My Fault

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 10, _Jazzy_: 13, _Em_: 16, _Rose_: 15

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Fourteen_**

_**Previously**_ ...

_"Jasper ... Gavin is still alive."_

_Jasper's face paled, and his fingers clenched tightly around the pure, white blanket that covered his small body. I stood up, turning to leave. But I paused, closing my eyes, when Jasper spoke so softly, so frightened._

_"If Momma doesn't make it, Rose and I will have to go far, far away ... huh?"_

_I clenched my fingers tightly around the door frame, wishing I could lie, wishing that I could at least give Jasper the comfort of home._

_But I couldn't._

_"I'm sorry," I whispered, and then I walked away._

_I'm so sorry._

_**March 11th, Saturday, 2012 - 10:22 AM **_— _Alice POV_

The room was quiet, dark. The window blinds had been pulled, and the only light that shone into the desolate room was the thin, foreboding lines where the plastic of the blinds didn't quite meet. It seemed haunting, somehow, and I curled closer to Jazz, moving quickly away as he winced. Instead, I grabbed his hand into mine and laid my head next to his on the big, white pillow.

"Are you really going away?" I finally asked, and my voice was small, quiet. I was scared, and I felt so alone. Even with Jasper beside me, holding onto me, my world felt empty.

I knew that, no matter what, I couldn't lose him.

He didn't answer, though. Instead, he simply laid his head on my shoulder, breaking his gaze away from mine.

In the end, he asked a question of his own.

"Will you forget me? I mean ... when I leave. I don't want you to forget me."

I swallowed thickly, trying to speak. But I couldn't. The words wouldn't come. Instead, I moved until my eyes met Jasper's once more, and tried desperately to convey my feelings without words.

_I love you. I could never forget you. You are my entire world, my only reason for living_.

"No," I finally whispered softly. "I'll never forget you. I'll wait for you, I promise. You'll come back, right?"

He nodded, slowly and silently. But then he smiled. "Of course, baby girl."

"Then I'll wait," I vowed, and it seemed so simple. Wait. Why not? I loved him. He was my whole world, and while I knew I _could _go on living without him, I knew it would hurt, and I would never fully heal. Even if I loved someone else, Jazzy would always be first in my heart. He was the only one who could make me smile by simply holding my hand. He was the only one who who really understood me, who realized that though I was always so carefree, I worried, too. I worried about a lot of things, and though most people thought I was simply a ditzy little girl, there was so much more that I always hid.

But Jasper saw it all.

"I'll wait," I whispered once more, and then he wrapped his arms around me and held me close, and I thought for sure, in that one, silent moment, that everything would be all right.

**_11:02 AM _**— Carlisle_ POV_

It was hard, watching them. I knew that as soon as I signed Jasper's release papers, he would be taken away. He had relatives in California — an aunt, and an uncle. He and Rose would be going to live with them, and there was nothing I could do about it.

_"Why can't I take them in? I have a steady income, and I've been the closest thing to a father that those two children have ever had."_

_"I'm sorry, Carlisle," the young woman _—_ their social worker _—_whispered softly with regret in her voice. "We contacted their Aunt and Uncle, and they have agreed to take Rose and Jasper in until their mother awakens, or, if things take a turn for the worse, permanently. Both children will receive extensive counseling, and we think it would be better if they were far away from this town for a while. A new start is what those two children need. They need people who love them, and a warm, supporting home."_

_I sighed, and brushed a hand roughly through my hair. "_I_ could give them that home. I love them, and so does my wife. My daughter is so attached to Jasper, and I don't know what losing him will do to her."_

_The social worker smiled sadly._

_"Children forget things. They heal. That's what makes my job so easy on some days. Most kids push unpleasant memories out of their mind, eventually, and simply go on living."_

_"Or they put a smile on their lips and say the words they think they need to say to make people believe they're OK. But inside, I bet you anything, they're still hurting and they always will. You can't deny the fact that a lot of children thrown into the system don't receive the right care. They're pushed to the side as soon as they're deemed 'healed' and never given a second thought. I _will not_ see that happen to either Rose or Jasper."_

_Not saying another word or even giving the young woman a chance to respond, I pushed away from the wall and walked silently down the hallways, wishing more than anything that there was something I could do._

I sighed once more, and moved out of the doorway, quietly closing it so as not to wake the two slumbering children inside. I began to move down the bleached hall, intending on returning to my office to spend some time in silence, when a soft voice stopped me.

"Dad?"

I looked up quickly only to meet the concerned gaze of my eldest son. He was standing silently, surrounded by the white walls that we both had seen far too much of in the past few years. I smiled weakly, moving to his side to take the seven-month-old baby from his arms.

"Hey there, little man," I whispered, and as I held Teddy I wondered how anyone — _anyone_ — could ever even think of hurting someone so small and innocent.

"Are you all right?" Edward asked, and he placed his hand on my shoulder. I sighed heavily, and brushed my fingers through the messy locks of bronze hair on Teddy's head.

"I will be," I said slowly, and then, "What are you doing here? Where's Bella?"

Edward smiled softly.

"She's in with Rose and Em right now. She thought that was where she needed to be. I figured I'd take Teddy and find you. I figured ... that you wouldn't be doing so well." He paused, and then glanced up through thick lashes, his kind gaze meeting mine.

His next words were quiet, soft.

"It's not your fault, you know."

I sighed heavily, and turned away from my son. My arms tightened around Teddy's tiny body, and he squeaked in protest.

"It is," I whispered, and I realized now that the reason it hurt so much was because no one had ever really confronted me — out loud, clearly — about my fears, my guilt. "I should have seen what was happening. I'm both a doctor and a father. If anyone should have known, it was me. God! That little boy was hurt again and again and again, and I always believed him when he said that he'd simply fallen, or that there were some bullies at school. I ... It's all my fault," I breathed, and then the dam seemed to break. I fell to my knees, my legs to shaky to hold my body up. Edward fell down beside me, wrapping his arms around me and holding me as if I was a small child. Teddy was cocooned between us, and he whimpered softly, not as if he was unhappy, but almost as if he was crying with me.

"It's not your fault," Edward whispered again. "None of us saw what was happening. We were all blind to the truth. No one _wanted_ to see it. No one _wanted_to believe that someone could be capable of hurting such an innocent child, such innocent _children_. This is no one's fault, and all that we can do now is help them heal. We can't change the past, no matter how much we wish we can."

I clenched my fists tightly, and closed my eyes. I wanted more than anything to deny my son's words, to tell that I _could_ have done something, that I _could_ have prevented it. But I knew that, even if I _could_ have, that the past was the past, and I couldn't go back.

Finally, I pulled away, and I wiped at a few lingering tears as I stood shakily to my feet. Edward took Teddy from me, and then wrapped his free arm around my shoulder, giving me support as I learned to stand on my own two feet again.

"Thank you," I whispered, and he simply smiled.

"There's a little girl who would love very much to see you right now," Edward whispered, and I nodded, knowing even as he spoke that he wasn't talking about Alice. "She loves you, just like you were her father."

I smiled — finally — and nodded once more.

"I _am_ her father," I whispered. "In every way that matters."

**_12:10 PM _**— _Edward POV_

I smiled immediately upon entering the small, white room. The sight before me made me wish more than anything that Rose and Jasper weren't going to be taken away, because how was it fair to make such love suffer?

Emmett was sitting by Rose's side, holding her hand and running his fingers through her hair. She didn't smile, and her eyes were closed — I knew she was awake, though. She was simply numb — numb to the world around her and to the pain that would surely set in sooner or later. But she wasn't pushing Emmett away, and that was good. At least she was letting him in, letting him hold her.

"Hey," I whispered in Bella's ear as I took a seat beside her. "How are they doing? Has she spoken?"

Bella nodded, and I could see tears shining in her gaze as she turned to look at me.

"She was talking for a while. But Edward ... they're ... not doing well."

I smiled tightly and nodded, hugging Bella briefly before kissing her forehead and handing her Teddy.

"Watch him for a moment. I think ... that I need to speak to Em."

Bella nodded, and I stood up quickly before walking to Emmett's side. I placed a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to look at me as Carlisle kneeled beside Rose's bed.

"Want to talk?" I asked, and he shook his head firmly before turning away from me once more. Carlisle was speaking to Rose now, talking in low, gentle tones. She was smiling, just the smallest bit. Emmett was holding her hand so tightly that his knuckles were pale.

I could see the fire in his eyes, and I knew that the only way to force him to come clean with his fear and anger and regret was to push him far enough to make him snap.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded again, and I sighed.

"Emmett — "

"I said I don't want to talk to you, damn it!"

I smiled sadly, and cocked my head to the side. "But you need to ... don't you?"

He sighed, and pulled his hand away from Rose's. He clenched his fingers into tight fists, glaring down at the floor as he whispered, quietly, frightened, "You wouldn't understand."

"I might," I offered, and when he glanced up at me again, there were tears brimming in his eyes. I grasped his hand in mine, and helped him to his feet. He didn't protest when I tugged him gently from the room, and when we reached the short line of chairs that sat right outside Rose's room, he dropped wearily into one, his head falling into his hands as he began to cry. I simply sat next to him and wrapped my arms around him, wishing there was something I could say, something I could do. But there wasn't, because what _could_ I say? What _could_ I do? I didn't know what he was going through because, thank God, nothing like this had ever happened to Bella. I knew pain, though, and though I couldn't relate directly to what Emmett was feeling, I could relate to the fact that he was hurting because the one he loved was hurting.

"Want to talk?" I finally whispered, and he shook his head, wiping tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

It was unnerving, really, to see him in so much pain. He had always been so strong. He fit the part perfectly — tall, muscular, head always held high and emotions hidden behind a smile.

"You're hurting, huh?"

Emmett shook his head, and then the dam broke.

"No. I'm fine. I'm just angry ... how could he _do_ that to her? God! He hurt her, and I never even noticed! I was with her every day, damn it! I should have seen it! But I didn't, and I'll always hate myself for that."

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it quickly once more. What could I say? Every word he had said was true, but it was unfair. He hadn't been the only one who hadn't noticed. _No one_ had realized what had been going on, and no one was to blame. It was horrible, yes, but no one person could take the weight of a million regrets and hold it on their shoulders.

"She forgives you, you know."

"She shouldn't," he hissed, and he glanced up at me with tear-stained eyes. "She should hate me."

"But she dosen't. She loves you," I whispered, and I smiled. "And I understand that better than you think. Remember when Bella was sick, in the hospital?"

Emmett nodded slowly, staring at me with curious eyes as he wiped away a few lingering tears.

"It was because of me. I got upset, and left her alone. She wandered into the sun, because of what I did, and got hurt. I was the one to blame for her almost dying, but she didn't care. She never blamed me, or hated me. She _loved _me. And all I could do in return was love her, too."

Emmett was silent for a long time, and when he finally spoke, his voice was scared.

"She's leaving, huh? Dad's been careful not to say anything, but I overheard him talking. They're taking her and Jazz away, aren't they?"

I didn't answer, but my silence was apparently answer enough. When I looked up, though, and caught sight of the anguished look on Em's face, I smiled sadly.

"But nothing will change, will it? Em, you're sixteen. Rose is fifteen. If you really, _truly_ love her, you'll wait for her. Call her every night and send her flowers and silly notes — the little things sometimes speak the loudest. I know it will hurt being away from her, and I know that it will be harder for her to heal without you by her side, but I also know that if anyone can make this work, _you_ can."

Silence followed my soft words, and neither of us spoke for a very long time. Finally, though, Em smiled the smallest bit.

"You think so?" he asked quietly, and I grinned, wrapping my arm around his shoulder and holding him tightly to me for one long ... long moment.

"I _know_ so. Everything will be fine. You'll see."

_I only wish I'd known, in that moment, how wrong I was_.

* * *

I think that this chapter seems a little choppy — but I couldn't wait any longer to put it up. I think sometime in the future, I'll come back and edit it. But not right now. Right now, I have to go start the next chapter.

**NOTE **_(A.K.A: My excuses column)_: So if I don't update for like, three weeks, it's because I am reallyreallyreally busy right now. I move in two days — I'm working a summer job at the college I'm going to, so I move into the dorms on Monday. After that, I'll be working 40 hours a week at the school and 16 at my part-time job, so life is gonna suck for a while. Once I get settled in and get used to everything, I should get back to writing and updating on a regular schedule. Until then, though, it's going to be touch and go. Sorry!

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! )_

* * *


	16. Interlude 1: The Same Moon

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 10, _Jazzy_: 13, _Em_: 16, _Rose_: 15

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Sixteen_**

_**Previously**_ ...

_"She's leaving, huh? Dad's been careful not to say anything, but I overheard him talking. They're taking her and Jazz away, aren't they?"_

_I didn't answer, but my silence was apparently answer enough. When I looked up, though, and caught sight of the anguished look on Em's face, I smiled sadly._

_"But nothing will change, will it? Em, you're sixteen. Rose is fifteen. If you really, truly love her, you'll wait for her. Call her every night and send her flowers and silly notes — the little things sometimes speak the loudest. I know it will hurt being away from her, and I know that it will be harder for her to heal without you by her side, but I also know that if anyone can make this work, you can."_

_Silence followed my soft words, and neither of us spoke for a very long time. Finally, though, Em smiled the smallest bit._

_"You think so?" he asked quietly, and I grinned, wrapping my arm around his shoulder and holding him tightly to me for one long ... long moment._

_"I know so. Everything will be fine. You'll see."_

_I only wish I'd known, in that moment, how wrong I was_.

_**May 13th, Sunday, 2012 - Two Months Later**_

_Dear Alice,_

_How are you doing? I love you, and I miss you. A lot. _

_Life hasn't changed very much. I still go to school — a new school, but that's not much different. I didn't have any friends in my own grade before, either — and when I come home, I spend most of my time alone. Aunt Sam and Uncle Daniel aren't mean or anything, they're just ... distant. I know they don't mean to be — they just don't know how to be close to me or Rose. It's hard, but it's getting easier, I suppose. Every time I walk around the house, I expect Gavin to be there, waiting to punish me, to hurt me or Rose. Sometimes I hear Rose screaming in the middle of the night, too, and I know she has nightmares just like I do. I wish I could take those nightmares away from her. If I could, I'd make them my own. I'm not scared of Gavin anymore. I know he can't hurt me._

_How are you doing? What's happening back in Forks? How is Em doing? I know he took our leaving hard. He was mad, but I think he was mad at himself more than anyone because there was nothing he could do._

_I wish I could see you, baby girl. I miss your warmth, and your smile. I want to hold you so badly. I feel so very empty without you by my side and in my arms._

_I love you._

_Yours forever,  
__Jasper_

_**May 23rd**_

_Dear Alice,_

_I saw a little girl today that reminded me of you. She was so small, and her hair was in pigtails, just like you used to wear yours when you were that young. There was a little boy with her, too. He chased her around and pulled her pigtails and teased her, and all she did was blush and smile. She laughed so softly when he touched her. I know they'll love each other forever, just like we will._

_Hopefully, though, they won't be torn apart like we were. Maybe, somewhere in this world, there's a peace and a love that will never be touched._

_I know, though, that nothing could ever tear me away from you._

_I love you,  
Jasper_

___**June 1st**_

_Baby girl, why aren't you writing back? I want to hear from you. I wish I could hear your voice and hold you in my arms. This house is so empty, and sometimes I lay on the couch in the living room and close my eyes and just try to imagine you standing there, smiling._

_Sometimes I worry I'll forget what you look like. Already, it's hard for me to imagine your perfect smile, and your rosy cheeks. Every time something else slips away, another piece of my heart breaks. I stare at your picture for hours every night, trying to memorize you, to remember you._

_It's summer break now, right? Are you enjoying yhe little sun that manages to make it's way into Forks? You should go down to the lake, like we always used to. Go late at night, and stare at the moon. I'll be there, too, standing beside you. You won't be able to see me, but I'll be standing at your side._

_My mom once told me that we all share the same moon. Reach out and touch it, baby girl, and I'll hold your hand._

_Oh, and by the way?_

_Happy birthday._

_I love you,  
Jasper_

___**June 14th**_

_I met a girl today. _

_She's a transfer student from Italy. Cool, right? Apparently she went through some bad stuff, too. Her uncle, Aro, is taking care of her. Her name is Maria. She's a year younger than me, but she's smart. Fiesty, too. She beat up someone twice her size when he picked on her. The first time she talked to me was when she found me under the big oak outside. She kicked me and said, "This is MY tree". Then she sat down beside me and said, "You miss her, huh?" I don't know how she knew about you or even that you existed. She didn't call you by name or anything, but she knew that I was lonely and that there was someone, somewhere, that I was missing._

_You would like her, I think. You two are so much alike, and yet so different. I bet you'd get along well. _

_Nothing else interesting has happened. I'm keeping a journal now. The phyco doc recommended it. He said something about me releasing feelings, or looking back in a few years to see the progress I've made. Apparently, a lot of people who go through bad situations heal so slowly they don't even realize they're healing, and because of that believe that no one will ever be able to help them. It's kind of sad, and I don't want to be one of those people. I want to heal. I want to be whole for you. I don't want to be broken. I want to give you all of my heart, not just pieces._

_I love you,  
Jasper_

_____**June 23rd**_

_You said you'd never forget me, baby girl._

_I haven't heard from you in three months. Is it too hard? Too painful? I know that it's going to be a long time until we see each other again, but I love you. I love you so much that it doesn't matter to me._

_..._

_But does it matter to _you_? Do you want to move on, forget me? I love you so much, that I'd even let you go if it would make you happy. _

_Please write back. I won't write again. I figure that, if I give you some space, some time, that maybe you could heal a little. I'm trying so hard to be perfect for you, baby girl. I'll do anything. Am I not trying hard enough? I can try harder. Anything. It doesn't matter._

_I'll love you forever, for the rest of eternity. There will never be anyone else that I will love as much as I love you. You have all the pieces of my heart, baby girl._

_You're the only one who can put me back together._

_I love you,  
Jasper_

___**May 15th**_

_Dear Jazzy,_

_How are you doing? Are you still sad? How is Rose? Is she smiling yet? I want to see her smile, because then I would know that she'll be OK. She's still really scared, isn't she? _

_I miss you. School sucks. Everyone stares at me with pity, and I hate it. There's nothing wrong with me! I'm not sad because you left me, I'm sad because I miss you. You didn't leave me because you wanted to, and I understand that. But people talk about you all the time. I wish they'd just shut up. They don't know anything. They didn't even really know you. They didn't care then, and they don't now. It's not their problem, so why should they?_

_Is it very bad of me to wish that none of this had happened? That no one had ever figured out? Of course I don't want you getting hurt, or Rose either. But it's so hard. I walked by your house today, and there was a 'for sale' sign in the front yard. I'm glad they're selling it, because that house is where everything bad happened. Maybe someone else can create good memories there, but all of our memories in that house are bad. My favorite places are our lake, and the park. Remember when you used to pull my pigtails and call me names? I didn't even mind, because I loved you even then._

_Yours forever,  
Alice_

_**May 29th**_

_School is out now, and I wish it wasn't. I have so much time now to think! And all I think about is you._

_I went to our lake last night. The moon was bright and pretty. I stared at it for hours. I didn't realize I'd been there for so long, of course. Momma and Daddy were worried. I'm grounded now. But that's not so bad. I'm reading a lot with my free time. I have a pile of books on my dresser and I'm almost halfway through them. It feels good to get lost in another world, one that I won't get in trouble for being in. Daddy says I think too much, and that I get lost in my own little world. Apparently that's bad, because I always get sad when I do that._

_Life is boring besides that. Em is doing a little better. He still won't talk much, and he spends most of his time in his room. He's studying really hard because he wants to graduate early. He wants to go to a college in California that's really close to you and Rose._

_I miss you, Jazzy._

_Please write back soon,  
Alice_

**_June 13th_**

_I don't really have much to say, because I don't know what to say to you. So I'm going to pretend that you're my diary, k?_

_Today was fun. Momma took me and Em to Port Angeles with her. I got a new dress, and a whole pile of books. Em bought a rose for Rose. He said he was going to press it and then sent it to her. Shhh, though. Don't tell her, k? Em would be mad at me if he found out I told. After we left the mall, Momma took us to dinner and then we went to a movie. We've never done anything like this before. I think she was trying to cheer us up, because we've both been pretty distant. I know it's not fair to Momma and Daddy to be so quiet and sad, because they already blame themselves. I don't want them to blame themselves for our pain, too. Momma almost never smiles anymore. She always seems so sad._

_Some days it's really easy to smile. And others, I want to cry. I never do, though. Know why? Because I know you still love me, and that, one day, we'll be together again. I always remind myself of that. It's comforting, but it's not enough to make all of the pain go away._

_I love you, Jazzy. Please write back soon,  
Alice_

___**June 26th**_

_Jazzy, why aren't you writing back? Are you even reading my letters? Is it too hard for you? I know that it was hard for me to write the first one, because I knew that as soon as I sent it off, I was acknowledging that you were gone far away. But it got easier after that. I've sent you a lot of letters, but you never answer. I understand if you need time to get used to your new life. I can stop writing for a while, if you want._

_I really do love you, Jazzy._

_-Alice_

___**July 3rd**_

_I'm at Edward and Bella's tonight, watching Teddy. But he's sleeping now. _

_This will be the last letter I send you. I don't want to hurt you, and I think I am. Why else wouldn't you be writing back? If I was ever the cause of your pain, I could never forgive myself. So I'll give you as much time as you need. And ... it's hurting me, too, a little, never hearing from you. So .. please don't write back for a while, k? I do need some time, I think._

_I love you. Forever and ever and ever ...  
Alice_

___**July 3rd, Wednesday - **Esme POV_

"Did you have fun at Edward's, baby?" I asked, and I smiled softly at my daughter. She nodded happily, and turned to grin at me.

"I like Teddy a lot. He said my name, and he doesn't slobber as much anymore. He's so cute!" I smiled as she paused, but her next words sent chills through my entire body. "Bella helped me send another letter to Jasper. He hasn't written back, so I think he needs time to be alone. I'm gonna stop writing for a while, and I told him to stop writing, too. I love him, a lot, but it hurts that he isn't writing me. I wish ... that he would at least have told me why ... why he wasn't writing."

She turned to look at me, and there were tears filling her bright eyes.

"I love him so much, Momma. And it hurts a lot."

Without giving me time to respond, she grabbed her backpack off of the floor, and ran up the stairs, shakily wiping tears from her eyes as she went.

I stood there, completely frozen, my hands gripping tightly onto the counter.

_What had I done_?

I stood shakily, and pushed away from the counter. I walked quickly into my bedroom, and opened the closet with shaking hands. I pulled envelope after envelope out, tearing them open to read the words that graced the soft paper.

_I wish I could see you, baby girl. I miss your warmth, and your smile. I want to hold you so badly. I feel so very empty without you by my side and in my arms._

_..._

_I know, though, that nothing could ever tear me away from you._

_..._

_My mom once told me that we all share the same moon. Reach out and touch it, baby girl, and I'll hold your hand._

_..._

___Please write back. I won't write again. I figure that, if I give you some space, some time, that maybe you could heal a little. I'm trying so hard to be perfect for you, baby girl. I'll do anything. Am I not trying hard enough? I can try harder. Anything. It doesn't matter._

And, at the end of each letter was a soft, elegantly signed, _I love you_.

There were dozens of them, both from Jasper and Alice. The letters I'd hidden from her and the ones I had taken from her under the pretense of sending them off for her.

But now, one had slipped through, and it would probably tear apart the most innocent love that had ever been known.

I clutched the letters tightly to my chest, and cried.

_What had I done?_

* * *

I know you are confused. Heck, I am, too. But ... this chapter was laying the base for the rest of this story. In the next chapter, there's going to be a time skip to a few years later. And please, don't hate Esme. She will be explained later. Innocent until proven guilty, right? PLEASE withhold your judgement for a bit, k?

**NOTE**: It's a miracle that you have this chapter. Really. I was prepared to put up an "on haitus" notice. I even have it typed out and saved on my computer. But last night in the shower, instant inspration hit. Lol. I don't know how long it'll last, though. ^_^ Also, please review. About half of my reviewers aren't reviewing anymore. My reader count is the same, though, so either you're being lazy or you don't care unless you get a sneak peak. PLEASE, though ... leave your thoughts.

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! )_

* * *


	17. Act 2: What Have I Done

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 14, _Jazzy_: 17 _Em_: 20 _Rose_: 19

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Seventeen_**

_**Previously**_ ...

_And, at the end of each letter was a soft, elegantly signed, I love you._

_There were dozens of them, both from Jasper and Alice. The letters I'd hidden from her and the ones I had taken from her under the pretense of sending them off for her._

_But now, one had slipped through, and it would probably tear apart the most innocent love that had ever been known._

_I clutched the letters tightly to my chest, and cried._

_What had I done?_

_**May 23rd, 2016 - Four Years Later **- Alice POV_

I sighed, stretching slowly as I pulled myself from the hard, wooden desk. I grimaced as the students surrounding me pushed past, not even noticing or caring as they bumped into me and pushed me around, laughing and chattering over the shrill ringing of the bell.

No one even noticed I was there.

But it didn't matter, anyway.

It was like I was invisible, but I suppose that was my own fault. After ... after _he_ left, and after he told me he wouldn't write to me again, my whole world seemed to fall in around me. I could barely sleep at night, because he haunted my dreams, and I didn't like to talk to anyone, because no matter what they said or did, they always reminded me of _him_ in some way. It hurt too much, so eventually I decided that it was easier to just _exist_ rather than trying to _live_. It worked, and it didn't hurt so badly, so I was all right.

Sometimes, though, when it was really quiet and when there was nothing running through my head, memories and thoughts of the only boy I'd ever really loved would float back and it would hurt again.

I sighed, but then I smiled as I walked out into the midday sun. It was strange, really, that it was so warm outside. We lived in Forks, for goodness sake! But I was loving every moment of it.

"Yo, Ali!"

My smile, already wide, stretched to cross my whole face when I saw who was waiting for me outside.

"EM!" I screached, and I ran forward, my arms outstretched as I crashed into my big brother. He laughed and picked me up, spining me around before holding me at arms length.

"God, you've grown, little sis," he observed, and then he pulled me close once more.

Em had moved out a year ago, and had put a ring on Rose's finger within six months of them moving in together. They weren't planning on getting married anytime soon, but he said that every time he saw her, he knew that she was the one he would spend the rest of his life with. It was really sweet.

Rose herself hadn't changed much. About seven months after she and Jazz had moved in with their Aunt and Uncle, the social services decided that Rose needed to be with a more expierenced family, and she was moved halfway across the United States to live with a family who had taken in other girls who had gone through the same thing as her. In the end, it really helped her, to be with girls who knew what she was going through. Together, they had helped each other heal. And, just a year ago, she had turned eighteen and had come back to Forks, hoping and wishing that Em was still waiting for her.

"Are you ready to go, squirt? Teddy is literally bouncing off the walls waiting for you. Apparently Edward refused to start Marie's party without you," Em explained, and I nodded excitedly, rearranging my backpack as I bounced toward his car. Marie was Edward and Bella's second child — she was turning one today; they were so excited.

It was in moments like this that it was so easy to forget all of the pain.

But at the same time, it was moments like this when I wished most that Jazzy was standing beside me, holding my hand and laughing with me.

I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath in, trying to control my emotions and hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Are you all right, Ali?" Emmett asked, and I opened my eyes slowly, squinting as the beautiful, vibrant waves from the sun hit my eyes.

"Yeah," I whispered, and then, "I'll be fine."

_One day, maybe ... I hope I can smile without wishing he was smiling back at me_.

But I knew it would be impossible.

_**May 23rd, 2016 **- Jazzy POV_

"She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me ... "

I sighed, and then smiled as I plucked the last petal from the soft, red rose that I held in my hand.

_She loves me_.

I knew it was true, of course. I'd never doubted her. Not since the beginning. But it had been so long since I had heard her beautiful voice, since I had held her in my arms and whispered my own love to her. Where was she now? Was she still dancing clumsily through the school halls? Did she still refuse to sleep without Mr. Snuggles?

_Did she still love me, too_?

I shighed once more, and pushed myself up off the soft, dew covered grass. My jeans were wet and my hair was a mess, and I knew I would get yelled at when I got home. Aunt Sam would fret over every scrape and scratch and wonder for the millionth time why my hair would never lay flat. Uncle Daniel would just smile and shake his head.

They really loved me, I knew. They loved Rose, too, but hadn't been able to keep her for very long. But in the end, the second move had been good for Rose. She'd healed, and she'd grown closer than ever to Emmett over the years. We didn't talk a whole lot anymore, because she knew it was hard for me that she was so close Alice and I was so far away.

I wanted to call her, to write to her .. something, _anything_. But I had promised. I was going to let her make the first move, because no matter how much I missed her, or how much I loved her, I couldn't bare it if I was ever the cause of her pain.

It was still hard, though. Some nights, I'd hold the phone in my hand and wonder what our conversation would be like if I _did_ call her.

_I miss you._ _I love you._

I'll _always_ love you.

_**May 23rd** - Bella POV_

I smiled softly as I ran my hand over the soft, fuzzy bronze hair that covered my baby girl's head. She squealed and glanced up at me, grinning a beautiful baby grin as she shoved two fingers in her mouth and giggled.

"Mama!" she gurgled, and she kicked her tiny feet back and forth. I kissed her forehead and closed my eyes, just breathing in her scent.

"What are you thinking about, sweetie?" a soft voice asked, and my smile grew as I pulled away and glanced up into my mother-in-law's eyes.

"Life," I marvled in a soft tone. "How precious it is. I ... it's just so hard to imagine that Teddy and Marie are really _mine_. What did I ever do to deserve them? They're so beautiful, so amazing. Teddy randomly crawled over to me and hugged me this morning. He told me he loved me and kissed me with chocolate covered lips. It's moments like those that I can't help but wonder, what if they're ever taken away from me? She's only been here a year, and already I loved her so ... so much," I whispered, and Esme smiled, reaching down to brush her hand over Marie's soft hair.

"It's a beautiful thing, being a parent. So many overwhelming feelings. I feel ... as though I would do _anything_ to protect my children," she whispered, and there was a strange look in her eyes as she continued to stare at Marie's tiny form. "As much as I loathe hurting other people, if it meant keeping my baby girl safe and happy ... "

She trailed off, and shook her head slightly. I stared at her, curious and a little worried. Her tone scared me a little.

"Is Alice all right? And Emmett?"

Esme just smiled, and shook her head again. "They're fine. Everything's fine."

I nodded slowly, and as Esme stood from my side and walked away, I couldn't help but turn my eyes to Alice. She was sitting acorss the room, playing Peek-a-Boo with Teddy, who was highly amused. His smile was wide and his eyes were bright. But Alice ... she seemed different. Always different. It was harder to notice now, unless you looked closely. Her eyes didn't hold the happy sparkle they used to. She wasn't constantly laughing and smiling. The world was no longer one, big playground for her. She seemed serious, withdrawn. I'd noticed before now, of course. The change had been slow. But now it seemed as though it was reaching its peak. What had happened?

I knew she hadn't talked to Jasper in quite a while. She never told me why, though, and she always smiled so very sadly when I mentioned him.

_"He's still hurting a lot. I don't want to make it worse. But he'll come back to me soon. I know he will. Because ... because he loves me."_

Sometimes I wondered what the breaking point had been. Why had two children, who had gone no more than a day without talking to each other, broken off all contact for over three years? Why were they tearing themselves apart inside? It hurt everyone else, too, to see them suffering so much.

"Momma!" a quiet voice called, and I looked up, my eyes meeting the gentle gaze of my son. "Momma! Watch me!" he called, and as Alice grabbed his two hands in her own, he stood shakily to his feet and took one step forward before falling down. He landed hard on his bottom, but he didn't shed a single tear. Instead, he clapped and laughed and smiled. I couldn't keep the tears from my own eyes, however, and I wiped a gew away as he fell into my arms.

_His first steps. He had taken his first steps almost three years late because of the Spina Bifida complications, but still ... I couldn't be more proud._

"I walked, momma!" he called, and I could feel my heart swelling with love as he grinned a toothy grin at me. "I walked!"

"Very good, baby," and I leaned over to kiss his forehead. "I'm very proud of you."

The tiny, four-year-old blushed and glaned up at me with sheepish eyes. "You think Daddy will be, too?"

"Of course he will, baby!" I exclaimed. I brushed my fingers through Teddy's bronze locks, and as he wrapped his arms around both me and his baby sister, I suddenly understood Esme's words.

_I'd say anything, I would give up anything, _do_ anything - even if it meant hurting someone else - if it meant keeping these two, precious angels safe_.

"I love you, momma," Teddy whispered, and as I thought over Esme's previous words, I couldn't help but wonder, _What had _she_ done, to keep Alice safe? Who had _she_ hurt_?

And, as I glanced across the room into Alice's empty, silent eyes, I realized that I already knew the answer. And I realized that I'd known it for a long ... long time.

_Oh, Esme, what have you done_?

_**June 1st** - Jasper POV_

It was her birthday again, and I couldn't help but think about the last birthday we had spent together. I had kissed her on the cheek and she had blushed, and, to me, it had been the most beautiful thing in the world.

But this year instead of staring at my baby girl, I was staring at another beautiful young woman. And though she was beautiful — maybe, in a way, even more than Alice — she couldn't awaken in me the feelings that my only love did.

"Jasper, watch!" Maria yelled, and I watched as her hair blew delicately in the wind as she clambered onto the ledge next to the lake. I grinned.

"Careful, Mari!" I called laughingly. "You'll fall in!"

And just as I uttered the word, Maria lost her footing and fell into the water with a violent splash. I doubled over laughing as I tried to stand to my feet. She glared at me as she wailed about getting her dress wet, and the look on her face simply made me laugh harder. But then she stopped whining, and just as I was about to ask what was wrong, she spoke.

'"I've ... never heard you laugh like this," she whispered, and she touched my forehead as she stared intently into my eyes.

And it was in that moment that I realized I _hadn't_ laughed like this, ever. Or, at least not since I had left Alice behind in Forks. Did this mean I was healing? That I was moving past the pain?

I felt a sharp tightening in my chest, and I placed my hand over my heart, as if somehow that would make the pain go away. But nothing could make the pain go away, because this pain was much more than I had ever felt before. It was even worse than the sorrow I had felt when I had left Alice.

_Did this mean ... that I was forgetting her_?

And it hurt, simply because I knew I never could forget her, and even the simple thought that I would was unthinkable.

"Alice," I gasped, and I stumbled sharply to my feet.

_It had been way ... way too long since I had seen her face, or held her hand, or touched her soft lips_.

"I _will_ find you," I whispered, and the sudden relization that I might not — that, maybe, she had forgotten me like I had nearly forgotten her — sent me to my knees. "Alice," I breathed, and then my world began to darken slowly. All I heard or saw was Maria's frantic cries and her soft sobs.

"Alice," I breathed one last time, and as I sank into a world filled with sorrow and darkness, my only regret was that I had let her slip through my fingers. That I had let her go, that I hadnm't fought hard enough. I should have kept writing. I should have visited her. I should have called her, reassured her of my love for her.

But I hadn't.

And I would never forgive myself, because it was my fault that I may have lost her.

_Alice_.

_**June 10th** - Alice POV_

I was sitting innocently under a large, weeping willow in the park when a large, pale hand was shoved near my face. I looked up, surprised, to see a pair of smiling eyes set deep in a soft, pale face. Blond, messy hair framed gentle features.

"Hi," the hand introduced itself. "My friends and I want to play tag, but we're a player short. Wanna join?"

I grinned, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes. I looked across the field where another boy and a girl were waiting anxiously.

"I drew the short straw. We've been watching you for a while, and you look kind of lonely. We come here almost every day, and you can join us as much as you want." He paused, glancing at the hand I hadn't yet accepted. "That is, if you want to."

I nodded, and clasped his hand in mine. I let him pull me to my feet, and I smiled as I stared into his eyes. It had been a long time since someone had smiled at the way that the boy in front of me was smiling now. And it had been even longer since someone had invited me to play with them.

"Oh, and by the way, my name is Alice," I said, and he grinned a toothy grin at me.

"My name is James. And these are my friends, Victoria and Laurent."

* * *

OHMYGOSH! I am sososososo sorry it has been so long since I've updated! O_O But life is insane, still. I don't want to give up on this story. I am determined to finish it! And I have a rough outline finished. It's gonne be anywhere from 22-26 chapters, I think. Shorter than CoTN, but still. I don't think I could make it any longer without ruining it.

**NOTE**: So Esme's actions arwe explained a little, though I didn't go much into detail about it. But really, think about it. ( And I WILL go into more detail later! ) Esme is always portrayed as sweet, but don't you think she'd do ANYTHING to keep her family safe? I do, and I think this is a side to Esme that isn't shown all that often. Thanks for sticking it out, and PLEASE review!

_See You SOON!_

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! )_

* * *


	18. Important Notice!

-No Longer Applicable: **See next chapter**!-


	19. Continuation Notice!

I realize that it has been WELL over a year since I've updated. I got caught up in college, new friends, a new boyfriend, a really bad break-up, family issues, scholarship problems, working three jobs, and on top of it all of that, I just ... got out of the Twilight loop. I also realize that I really have no excuse for leaving everyone hanging.

**However**...

I have recently been re-reading over my stories, and I liked my ideas. I really want to continue this story, and possibly begin another. The question here is, _**is there anyone still following this? **_O_o I know I wouldn't be. But even if there are just a few people following this, I think it would be worth continuing. Heck, it would be worth it either way, but if no one cares anymore, then I probably won't take the time to do it, because I really am busy.

I go on Christmas break in two weeks - one more week of classes, and a week of finals. I will be using that time to re-read the story, and begin writing new chapters. I honestly wouldn't expect an update before the beginning of 2011.

I would appreciate any thoughts on this, and feel free to ***YELL*** at me. I realize I was a jerk to leave everyone hanging.

Love and hugs and apologies,  
~Lheure Bleue


	20. Scene 1: My Best Friend

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 14, _Jazzy_: 17 _Em_: 20 _Rose_: 19

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Nineteen_**

_**Previously...**_

_"Hi," the hand introduced itself. "My friends and I want to play tag, but we're a player short. Wanna join?"_

_I grinned, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes. I looked across the field where another boy and a girl were waiting anxiously._

_"I drew the short straw. We've been watching you for a while, and you look kind of lonely. We come here almost every day, and you can join us as much as you want." He paused, glancing at the hand I hadn't yet accepted. "That is, if you want to."_

_I nodded, and clasped his hand in mine. I let him pull me to my feet, and I smiled as I stared into his eyes. It had been a long time since someone had smiled at the way that the boy in front of me was smiling now. And it had been even longer since someone had invited me to play with them._

_"Oh, and by the way, my name is Alice," I said, and he grinned a toothy grin at me._

_"My name is James. And these are my friends, Victoria and Laurent."_

___**June 10th, 2016 - **Alice POV_

I was laughing. I couldn't remember how long it had been since I'd laughed like this, since I'd been so deliriously happy. But as I stumbled around the large field with my new friends chasing after me, I almost felt OK. The pain in my chest was ... numb, at the very least. This... was fun. I was having fun. _Real_ fun, where I laughed and joked and smiled with the people around me.

"Tag, you're it!" James yelled, and I stumbled forward a few steps as he pressed his warm hand against my back. His touch made my heart race. I turned to stare at him for a few moments, and he just smiled, laughter dancing in his eyes as he cocked his head to the side and stared at me in confusion. "You OK?" he asked, and I nodded, a blush rising to my cheeks as I realized that I'd been staring at him like an idiot for the past few minutes.

"I'm ok," I whispered, and he nodded, considering that.

"Good," he said, but he still didn't move. He almost seemed confused over my answer. His green eyes were intense, serious. The look in them reminded me of Jazzy...

I quickly banished that thought, nearly preventing the wave of pain that tore through me at the memory.

"I'm fine," I repeated. I forced the smile back on my lips. It was still a real smile **_—_** I wasn't any less happy than I'd been a few minutes before. But now I was a little sad, too. "But if you don't run, I'm gonna catch you!" I giggled, because I needed James to stop staring at me like that. His gaze was making me uncomfortable. Not because I was afraid of him, but because I was afraid he would see through me. My distraction seemed to work **_—_** he took off running, catching up with Victoria. They laughed together as they bolted across the field.

The sun was beginning to slowly slip beneath the horizon. I knew I needed to be home soon. But, even with the memory **_—_** I couldn't even make myself _think_ his name **_—_** I was still happy here.

For the first time in as long as I could remember.

**June 11th, 2016 **_- Jazzy POV_

"You can't stop me," I said. My voice was firm, unbending. I slammed another drawer shut after I'd emptied it of its contents.

"You don't turn eighteen for another four days," Uncle Daniel reminded me, and I turned to stare at him, my eyes dancing with annoyance.

"Four days. You can't really be considering keeping me here for _four days_. That is an insignificant amount of time."

"If it's so insignificant, then stay!"

"It's not insignificant for _me_. I've already screwed up so badly. I have to fix things. Not next week, not in four days. _Now_."

"Don't leave us like this! Think about what you're doing," Daniel pleaded, clasping his hands together as he sat heavily on my bed. He sighed. His blue eyes were heavy with confusion and pain. He looked so much... older, than he usually did. But he was usually smiling. And now... "You're going to hurt Sam, walking out like this. She loves you, you know, even if she hasn't always been good at showing it. And what about Maria? I thought there was something... "

"There was nothing," I said firmly. "She's one of my best friends, but she can never replace Alice."

"I didn't say she could. But she made you happy. She made you _smile_. You were doing OK. Going back will only hurt both you and Alice. You don't know what's going on in her life. What if she's moved on? Jasper, she's three years younger than you. She just started High School. She ... may have a new boyfriend. She's probably moved on. You stopped writing to her _three years ago_. That's a long time for a little girl, Jasper."

I listened to his words, but refused to accept them. I knew the chances. I knew they weren't good. What eleven year old girl is going to wait around for her brother's best friend to come back to her? Especially when he stops writing to her, and all but cuts off contact with her?

"I need to know."

"Wait until next week. Please. Your mother... " He paused then, as I flinched. No one could replace my mom. And he knew that. He quickly corrected himself. "Your aunt Sam has been planning your eighteenth birthday party for _months_. She's so excited. Don't ruin this for her. Don't just leave us."

"I need to know _now_. If she's moved on, fine," I said, but even as I uttered the words, I knew it wouldn't be fine. It would tear me apart. And, to be completely honest, I would probably never come back if she had moved on, because I wasn't sure I could face living without her. "But I need to know. I need to know what I left behind, and how I screwed up. If she'll still take me back, then I will be the happiest man on the planet. If she still wants me... after all this time... "

I paused then, unable to continue. I zipped my bright blue school bag shut, and threw it over my shoulder. I didn't move, though, because I couldn't just walk out while my uncle was sitting on my bed, so obviously in pain.

"Jasper, we love you," he whispered, and I nodded. I loved them, too. They had never done anything but accept me.

"I love you, too," I replied, my voice barely audible.

And, then...

"I won't stop you," he breathed, and my heartbeat quickened. I slowly **_—_** ever-so-slowly **_—_** moved my gaze to meet his. My expression was one of carefully concealed surprise. Hadn't he just been trying to convince me not to leave?

He took a deep breath, not meeting my eyes but instead looking everywhere else. My wall, the posters that had accumulated there. My lamp, the one they'd bought me when I'd first moved in. And my desk **_— _**the stack of un-sent letters that I'd written to Alice. They were sealed, stamped. Perfect condition. But never sent, because I couldn't force myself into her life again.

Or, at least, I didn't think I could. But now... now...

"I know what love is. I know how badly it hurts," Daniel whispered, continuing. "I won't stop you, because I can't take that chance away from you. I know this will upset your Aunt Sam, and I hate that. But... true love... it really does only happen once. And I know you truly do love Alice."

"I do," I breathed, confirming his statement.

"I only ask one thing."

"Anything," I said with determination, now that I was sure he wouldn't ask me to stay.

"Don't stop fighting for her," he said, and he was grinning now. "Don't give up on her until she says to your face that she'll never want you." He laughed, and the sound was borderline hysteric. "I nearly gave up on your aunt, and I almost lost her. I'm glad, to this day, that I didn't, because this love... " he paused, and reached out to place one hand on my shoulder. "Is something that most people would die for."

"I _would_ die for her," I said, and I knew I would.

"It's been three years," he said again, carefully, slowly. "You need to understand that a lot has changed. She won't be your Alice anymore. She's a young woman now. There's a very good chance she's moved on."

"I know," I said, and I did. I _did_ know, and that possibility tore me up inside more than I could ever say. "And," I began, but paused once more. Then I smiled. "Will you tell Aunt Sam I'm sorry? I really was quite excited for this party. But... I need to go to Alice. I've messed things up, possibly beyond repair. But if there's even a small... _small_ chance that I can fix things, I'm taking it. I'll do anything for her."

My uncle smiled. It was a smile that reached his weathered, worn eyes, and wrinkled the skin around his vibrant, blue orbs.

"Go," he whispered, and I needed no more encouragement.

_I'm coming, Alice_...

**June 13th, 2016 **- _Alice POV_

I tapped my pencil against my lips, crossing and uncrossing my ankles as I stared at my journal. The sun was shining in through the window, bekoning me forward and trying to pull me from the comfort of my bed on a Saturday morning.

I ignored the sun, and began writing.

_Dear Jazzy,_

_I've made a few new friends. It turns out, they're all coming to my school in the fall. They're foster kids, and their parents just moved into town. Two boys and a girl. The girl __— Victoria ____— is kinda shy, but really fun. Laurent is also shy. He's taller, bigger than the others. But not older. He's actually the youngest. He's like a big bear, so fun but intimidating! And then there's James. He reminds me a lot of you. He's not shy, but he blushed a lot because his friends made him be the one to come talk to me. He's funny, but really intense. He can't really take a joke. But he makes me smile, and laugh._

_______I think... that things are getting easier. I don't know when that happened. And I'm not saying that it's not hard. It still hurts more than anything. But... I can be happy. I realized that over the past few days. I can have friends, and I can laugh._

_I love you, Jazzy. I want more than anything for you to come back one day. I'm still waiting for you. But, maybe ... I think I should think about other things. Make new friends. Because you're not here _now_. And that's not your fault. I know that. And it hurts to say this. But I can't keep hurting myself, waiting for you to come home. Maybe it'll be soon. Maybe not. And I'm not saying I'm going to go find someone to replace you, because I don't think that's possible. Ever. I love you far too much._

_I'm just saying... I like smiling, and laughing. And James can make me do that. And Laurent and Victoria. It makes me feel... really nice._

_I'll always be waiting. Always, Jazzy. Never doubt that._

_Your best friend,  
Alice_

I paused, staring at the words I'd written and fighting back tears. I was his best friend. I was more than that. I was the girl he loved. But he was so far away. He hadn't spoken to me in a long time. And now... I was James and Victoria and Laurent's friend, too. We had played together every single day since I'd first met them three days ago. And it made me _happy_. My cheeks were always flushed when I came home, and I was laughing. Mommy was surprised, but happy to see these changes in me.

I loved Jazzy. I always would. I wasn't sure I could ever love anyone else. But... Jasper needed to be my best friend for a while, instead of the boy I loved more than anything. Because the idea that my one true love was ignoring me **_—_** that he had cut off all contact with me **_—_** hurt more than anything. And, for some reason... my best friend not talking to me ... well, it hurt a little bit less.

But ... it was OK to have other best friends, right?

I sighed, and closed my journal. I lifted up my sheets, and tucked it in the hidden gash within my mattress. Mommy wouldn't be happy if she ever found out that I'd torn my mattress open, but it was to help me retain my sanity. Emmett always teased me whenever he found my journal.

I was smiling as I thought of my older brother when my mother's voice floated up the stairs.

"Alice, honey! Someone's here for you!"

My heart thumped heavily in my chest, exactly like it always did when mommy told me someone was here.

_Was it Jazzy_?

It never was. And I was always disappointed. I didn't really expect it to be, of course, but I couldn't help but let the tiny swell of hope grow in my stomach every single time.

"Coming!" I called back, and I quickly covered the mattress once more before running out of my room and down the stairs. I smiled when I saw James at the bottom of the stairs. "Where are the others?" I asked, breathless as he caught my hand in his and began to pull me from the house.

"They're waiting in the park. C'mon! Let's hurry. We're gonna explore the river today!" He announced, and he grinned toothily at me. I smiled back, excitement welling withing in me. The river? Cool!

Mommy, of course, overheard our plans, however.

She sighed, but didn't tell us no. "Be careful!" she warned instead, and I waved her off.

"We will! Love you, Mommy!" I called.

And I didn't look back as James pulled me out the door, laughing and smiling the whole time.

_Jazzy, are you happy, too? Wherever you are... are you smiling?_

**June 14th, 2016 **- _Jazzy POV_

The plane finally landed. After a four hour flight and several hours of layover, not to mention six hours of driving and several more stops along the way for food and gas, I was in Port Angeles, only half an hour away from Forks.

_Forks_.

I was home.

I called a cab, and they picked me up at the airport.

"Where are we going today?" the cabbie asked, and I caught his eye briefly as I murmured the address. I settled into the backseat, not really seeing the scenery as it passed by the window at astonishing speeds. I was... numb, almost. There wasn't a very good way to describe what I was feeling. Scared, certainly. Scared that Daniel was right, and there was no chance. Nervous more than anything. My heart was beating almost painfully in my chest as I realized that, in less than half an hour, I would be seeing my baby girl.

_Alice_.

Even thinking her name sent wave after wave of painful anticipation through me.

It had been so long. Was her hair still long? Was she still the little girl I knew? Or was she a young woman now? Had she gotten taller, or was she as short as always? Was she still afraid of the thunder? And, most importantly, was she OK? Would I be hurting her by coming back?

It was far too late now to consider turning around. I couldn't. Even if I wanted to, I wasn't sure I could physically force myself to move from the seat of the cab. I didn't think I could make myself go in any direction that wouldn't lead me directly to her.

_Alice_...

I looked out the window, and a tiny smile flickered on my lips as I began to recognize the scenery.

_I'm coming. Wait for me... please..._

* * *

So... this chapter was out much sooner than I thought it would be. Over a hundred people reviewed, and I got so excited! =D Expect more updates soon, if that keeps up! It's amazing to see the people who I thought HATED me reviewing and telling me that they want to see more. Like, you have no idea.

**NOTE**: This is kinda important. As it has been so long since I've written, I have forgotten some of the plot ideas. If there are any inconsistencies, **LET ME KNOW**! Also, I'm quite nervous here. If you're still reading, let me know, and let me know what you thought of this chapter.

-_Continues to freak out_-

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even move.

_Alice_.

But... she wasn't alone anymore. And... maybe she didn't need me anymore, either.


	21. Scene 2: Letters

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 14, _Jazzy_: 17 _Em_: 20 _Rose_: 19

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Twenty_**

_**Previously...**_

_Alice._

_Even thinking her name sent wave after wave of painful anticipation through me._

_It had been so long. Was her hair still long? Was she still the little girl I knew? Or was she a young woman now? Had she gotten taller, or was she as short as always? Was she still afraid of the thunder? And, most importantly, was she OK? Would I be hurting her by coming back?_

_It was far too late now to consider turning around. I couldn't. Even if I wanted to, I wasn't sure I could physically force myself to move from the seat of the cab. I didn't think I could make myself go in any direction that wouldn't lead me directly to her._

_Alice..._

_I looked out the window, and a tiny smile flickered on my lips as I began to recognize the scenery._

_I'm coming. Wait for me... please..._

**June 14th - 9:00 AM **- _Alice POV_

"So, what are we doing today?" I asked, feeling as light as a feather as James broke into a run. I laughed as we stumbled across the wide, open field of the park. We didn't stop, however; we continued onward, leaving the lush, green grass of the park behind. He just shrugged, a contagious smile upon his lips.

"You'll see," he said, and I nodded, considering this.

"Victoria and Laurent weren't waiting at the park, were they?" I guess, and he laughed loudly.

"You caught me," he admitted. "Victoria actually had a dentist appointment today, and Laurent tagged along. So, I figured we could do something together." He slowed down, no longer running but instead simply walking fast. "You... you do wanna hang out with me, right?" he asked hesitantly, and Alice nodded, smiling softly.

"Of course! And I really do want to explore the river, too. It sounds like a lot of fun!" She paused for a moment, then continued. "We _are_ going to the river, right?"

James nodded, walking now, his pace slowed even further. "Yeah. I... I have a surprise for you!"

"Really? What is it?" I asked, excited. And then he turned to look at me, and I felt my heart flutter. It was a strange feeling for me, because I hadn't felt anything like this in over three years. No other boy besides Jasper had ever made me this excited, this happy about life. It still wasn't the same, of course. But it was still fun. It was still... really nice. I liked holding his hand, and having him smile at me. And, of course, part of me was screaming that it was just because I didn't like being alone. And someone was finally paying attention to me. Why wouldn't that make my cheeks flush, and my heart race? But the other part of me was scared that I _did_ feel something for this boy. I didn't want to... but at the same time, I did. What if? What if ... Jazzy never came back? I was fourteen. He'd left me, and I didn't want to be alone forever, waiting for him.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise," James teased, snapping me from my thoughts. "But, between you and me... it's a picnic," he said, and he glanced at me from beneath his shaggy hair, waiting for my response.

He needn't have worried.

"Oh my gosh!" I squealed. "That's awesome! A picnic by the river."

I was still smiling as we began to walk through the thin foliage that led to the river. But with every step we took, something inside of me — small, but growing larger every moment — screamed at me to turn around. Not because I was afraid of James, but because I was afraid of feeling something for him. How often did someone take their best friend on a picnic by the river? Not often, I was sure. James...

I bit my lip.

James probably felt something more. Even though it had only been a few days. He obviously wanted to be something more than my friend. I didn't think he would force that on me, but it still scared me. Was I setting him up for disappointment? Because I wasn't sure...

I sighed. It didn't matter, anyway. It was just a picnic, and I was blowing things out of proportion.

I shook my head to dispel the thoughts that were confusing me and making me feel sad when I should be happy. James noticed the motion, and stared at me, confused. I stared back, my eyes meeting his. I felt my cheeks flush once more, and I was suddenly hyper-aware of his hand in mine, warm and comforting

"Are we there yet?" I asked, trying to distract him from me. It worked — he smiled and looked away.

"Almost," he promised, and as we continued to walk along, hand in hand, I decided it didn't matter. Sure, I was unsure. But... this was life. Life was never certain, and it generally didn't make sense. Maybe I shouldn't be hanging out with James so much. But then again, maybe he could make me happy. I didn't know, and I didn't want to worry about it. There was a chance — a large chance — that we would both end up hurt.

But... as sick as it was, I took comfort in the fact that James couldn't hurt me any more than I had been hurt before. _Nothing _could hurt that badly.

_Jazzy, is it bad to be happy right now? To be happy... without you?_

**June 14th - 11:45 AM **- _Jazzy POV_

"We're here," the cabbie announced, and I nodded, thanking him silently. I passed a few twenty dollar bills over the top of the seat, and carefully folded my large frame out of the car door. I grabbed my lone bag, and tossed it over my shoulder as I took in the view of the house in front of me.

It was still empty, and dark inside. The door was closed, and probably locked. The front window had been replaced, I noticed. There was no longer glass on the front lawn, or blood on the doorstep. I glanced up, and smiled bitterly as I looked at my window. It was closed now, of course. But...

I shivered, and it had nothing to do with the weather. It was actually pleasantly warm outside, despite the clouds that threatened to begin pouting down rain on me at any moment. Instead, my reaction was because of the memories that flooded back as I stared at the window that I had used so many times to escape my own personal hell.

The difference was that, this time, I had nowhere to run. I couldn't run to Alice, like I used to. I couldn't climb in through her window, and let her hold me and chase away all the demons.

... it made my knees weak to realize that I almost wished I could go back to that, to all of the pain and the horror. Simply... simply so that I could have my baby girl hold me again, to whisper in my ear and tell me everything would be all right. If it hadn't been for what had happened to Rose, and my mom...

I sighed, and shook that thought from my head. I had more important things to concentrate on right now. The most important of which, of course, was Alice. It was only a few miles to her house.

Should I go there? What was I going to do? Just... knock on her door? Or maybe I should call first, warn Esme or Carlisle that I was coming. But... what if they didn't want me to come? What if Alice _was _happy, and they didn't want me to ruin it for her?

I could feel the cold worming its way inside my jacket, chilling me slowly. I shivered, and sighed once more.

There really was only one option. I _had_ to see her. There really wasn't any other way.

No matter what was waiting for me, or what her reaction was, I had to see her.

I took a deep breath, turned my back on the house in front of me, and began walking in the direction that I knew would lead me to my baby girl.

**12:30 PM** _- __Alice POV_

_Dear Jazzy,_

I paused then, because I wasn't sure what to write. I was sitting in my room now, an hour after James had dropped me off at my house. The picnic had been lovely. More than that, it was amazingly fun. Even if he _did_ make me sit in the grass. I frowned, my eyes flickering over at the jeans I had been wearing.

The fact that I had sacrificed my jeans (for a day or two, anyway — until mom got around to washing the laundry) meant that he was fairly important to me.

I turned back to my journal, shaking my head and trying to remember what I had been meaning to write.

_Dear Jazzy_, I began again_. I know it's been a while since I've written. I'm sorry. I've been a little busy. James and Victoria and Laurent come over every day now._

_I'm confused, Jazzy. I haven't talked to you in over three years. I haven't heard from you at all. No letters, no phone calls... nothing. But there's still this burning fire in my chest every time I think about you. It doesn't heart so terribly much anymore. ... no, it still does. But it's something more now. It's a yearning, to see you._

_But now there's James. He's nice. And... he likes me. Or, at least I think he does. He said something, in passing, today. I didn't respond, and he just continued talking. I don't know what he meant by it, and I was too nervous to ask._

_I think I like him, too, but ... it's not the same. I think I could be happy with him. He's a nice guy, and he's in my grade. But..._

_...I don't know. Lately, it seems ... I can't help but think you're coming back. I don't know how, and I don't know why. It doesn't make sense to me, this feeling. But I feel that... I need to wait, just a little longer. I feel almost that if I give into James, you'll come back and I'll lose you._

_And this feeling scares me. I _want_ you to come back. I want you to hold me in your arms again, to tell me you love me and call me your baby girl._

_I still have that necklace, you know. The one you gave me when I turned three. It hangs above my bed, chasing away the bad dreams and soothing me so I can sleep. You gave me your heart when I was three, and I've always held it for you. I'm still holding it, I think, and I'll hold it for as long as you need me to._

_I love you so much, Jazzy. My best friend. My protector. And, if you ever come back, my one true love._

_I'll wait, Jazzy. Just a little longer, because I feel that if I don't, I could lose something amazing. I could lose _you_._

_So... come quickly, Jazzy._

_Your best friend,  
Alice_

I put my pencil down, slowly closing my journal and tying the bow that sat on top of it. I was so engrossed in this task that I didn't see my mother walk into the room.

"Alice?" she asked quietly, and my head shot up, my eyes moving frantically to find hers.

"Hey, momma," I whispered, and she smiled, moving over to my bed to sit beside me. I placed my journal on the bed next to me, and turned to face the woman who had always been there to hold me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. She stared back, a tiny smile on her lips that didn't quite reach her eyes. I frowned, reaching out to gently brush my hand against her cheek. "Are you OK, Momma?"

She nodded, and reached out to take my hand in hers, holding it to her cheek.

"I love you, Alice," she said quietly, and I could hear my heart beating fast in my chest. Worry twisted into knots in the pit of my stomach; was something wrong? I almost voiced the question, but just then she continued, her voice more sure than it had been before. "I've noticed you seem really preoccupied lately. Is it this new boy?"

I somehow didn't think she was here to talk about James, but I followed the conversation, knowing that her reason for entering my room would appear soon enough. I shrugged. "James, Victoria and Laurent, you mean?" I asked, purposely grouping the names together. I shrugged again. "Sure. They're fun to play with. It's nice to have friends who are as bored during summer as I am."

"Is that all?" she probed gently. "You can always talk to me, you know. And I've noticed you've been spending every moment that you're home in here, writing in your journal. Whatever it is," she said, and she brushed a lock of soft, black hair behind my ear. "You know you can always talk to me."

I nodded fervently, smiling now. "Of course I know that. And..." I paused, considering my words carefully. I didn't want to worry my mom, but ... I wanted to tell someone of the irrational feelings I'd been getting lately, about Jasper coming back. It had been getting stronger every day. I wasn't sure how I knew, but I did. I _knew_ — or, at least I hoped I did — that he was coming back. That I would see him. "I... I've been thinking about Jasper a lot lately."

Momma nodded slowly; it seemed as if she was taking a moment to digest my words. "And?" she probed, wanting me to say a little more before she took over the conversation.

"And... his birthday — his eighteenth birthday — is tomorrow."

My mother drew in a slow, deep breath.

"And... I dunno," I continued, feeling silly now. "I think he'll come back. Maybe not to stay, of course... he still has a year of school yet. But I... I just feel it, Momma. I feel like he's closer to me than he has been in a long, long time."

"Alice..."

But she wasn't sure what to say. I could see it on her face. I knew that she thought I was being silly, but I wasn't! For as long as I could remember, I had been really good at predicting people's intentions, and their feelings. It had only grown more potent with age. It was how I knew James liked me, and how I always knew, before anyone else, who was going to hook up at school. It was stronger with the people I loved, of course. And Jasper was the one I loved more than anything.

"I know he may not, Momma. I realize that this could all be something that I've just... dreamed up, I guess. But ... I don't know. I just feel it, and I can't ignore it."

"I don't want you to get hurt anymore, baby," she whispered, and her eyes flashed with pain. But, before I could even begin to try and understand what I'd seen, she had composed herself and was speaking again. "Jasper has hurt you a lot. Not on purpose, I know," she added as I opened my mouth to object to her words. "But he hurt you a lot by leaving."

"Not by leaving," I corrected. "By not writing. It wasn't a big deal that he left — I mean, it was. But it was only three years we'd be apart. He'd come back. That was the plan. But then... then he stopped writing. And calling. And... he forgot about me. completely."

My eyes fell away from hers then; they burned with tears that I didn't want to shed.

"I'm sorry, baby," she whispered, and I looked up again, because I could hear the tears in her voice, too. But they were different from mine. Mine were sad; hers were regretful, and her eyes were full of apology when I finally caught her gaze.

"Don't be sorry, Momma," I whispered, not understanding. "It wasn't your fault."

"But what if it was, Alice?" she whispered, and her voice cracked now. Her tears fell without pause. She clasped my hands in hers, and as she touched me — her hands cold as ice — I felt a wave of shock and pain shoot through me.

"What... do you mean? How could it be your fault? You couldn't have made him write. I mean, it was his choice, and — "

But she cut me off then, and her words echoed through my head, reverberating and silencing me. How could I speak? There was nothing to say.

"I hid the letters, Alice," she confessed, her words coming in a rush. Her voice broke again as she choked on a sob. "I hid them all. Dozens of letters, both from Jasper and from you. They're all in my closet, just sitting there, yours never sent and his never opened."

I just stared at her, shock clear in my eyes. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even think.

"Momma..."

"I'm so sorry, Alice," she said, and she was begging me to understand. "It was a horrible thing to do, and I realize that now. I just didn't want him to hurt you anymore. A clean break. I thought — "

"You thought wrong!" I finally cried, and I was on my feet without even realizing it. Tears were finally falling, and now that the dam had been broken, I couldn't seem to hold them in. "I _needed_ him! I _love_ him! I would have done anything, gone through anything, waited as long as I needed to! And now... he thinks I'm not talking to him. He thinks I abandoned him, when he needed me most."

And that was it for any sense of control I'd had. I ran out of the room, weeping and shaking and not even sure where I was going.

_He needed me. He loved me. He had written — possibly every single day — and he believed that I'd given up on him, that I'd moved on, that I'd forgotten him and didn't want him_... _that I didn't love him._

I only knew he was feeling those things, because I had been, too, for over three years. I'd believed that he'd given up on me, that he didn't love me.

I didn't even realize where I was until my fingers — numb with shock — were roughly shoving my mother's closet door open. I quickly tore through everything, looking, searching...

I found them. In a small shoebox. Dozens of letters. Mine, all in pink envelopes with my messy scrawl written all over them. Jasper's, in plain white envelopes, all elegantly addressed. Addressed... to me.

_Dear Alice,_

_How are you doing? I love you, and I miss you. A lot._

_Life hasn't changed very much. I still go to school — a new school, but that's not much different..._

And the next one, much the same as the first.

_Dear Alice,_

_I saw a little girl today that reminded me of you. She was so small, and her hair was in pigtails, just like you used to wear yours..._

I tore open another, not caring as the envelope ripped in half. And then another, and another...

_Dear Alice,_

_It's raining. Like, non-stop. It reminds me of Forks. Of home. Of you..._

_Dear Alice,_

_School is boring. Home is boring. Life is kind of slow. It's kind of nice... not having to fear every single day..._

_Dear Alice,_

_I saw a journal today. I almost bought it for you, but then realized that you already have a size-able stack from me. Every birthday... and you rarely write in them..._

I laughed a little through my tears. I was on the last of those. There had been like, six of them. And they'd all been filled up with thoughts and memories of Jasper.

_Dear Alice,_

___I won't write again. I figure that, if I give you some space, some time, that maybe you could heal a little. I'm trying so hard to be perfect for you, baby girl. I'll do anything. Am I not trying hard enough? I can try harder. Anything. It doesn't matter._

I began sobbing again, harder than before, as I finished reading the last one.

"No, Jasper!" I yelled, and I pounded my fist into the floor, not even caring as a shock of pain shot through my fingers. I yelled, unintelligible words this time. And then there were a pair of arms around me. I didn't fight them, even though I knew they were the arms of the one who had caused all of this pain — my mother. I needed to be held, comforted. I needed to be loved.

"I love him..." I whimpered, and I buried my face in her neck. She just rocked me back and forth, humming softly.

"I know, baby... I know. I'm so sorry. So ... so sorry. Nothing I can ever say will make up for this."

I silently agreed, but even thinking it made me feel horrible. So I cried harder; it was the only thing I could think of to do.

_Jasper... please..._

"I love him..." I cried again, and I knew that, though the words were true, they probably didn't change anything.

_... please still be waiting for me... I still love you... I always will..._

"Jasper..."

And then my vision blacked out, and I didn't feel anything.

* * *

I realize that the sneak peak isn't in this chapter. But without the chapters pre-written, that's bound to happen, especially when my writing rages out of control...

**NOTE**: Nothing to say. I'm trying not to break the mood I'm in. It's the mood that you're probably in, too. The OMG mood. Yeah.

_**Please Review! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! )_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**:

"I've lost my chance," I murmured numbly, and I dropped my head into my hands, trying to block out the world.


	22. Scene 3: What Happens Next?

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 14, _Jazzy_: 17 _Em_: 20 _Rose_: 19 _Teddy: _3

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Twenty_**

_**Previously...**_

_"I love him..." I whimpered, and I buried my face in her neck. She just rocked me back and forth, humming softly._

_"I know, baby... I know. I'm so sorry. So ... so sorry. Nothing I can ever say will make up for this."_

_I silently agreed, but even thinking it made me feel horrible. So I cried harder; it was the only thing I could think of to do._

_Jasper... please..._

_"I love him..." I cried again, and I knew that, though the words were true, they probably didn't change anything._

_... please still be waiting for me... I still love you... I always will..._

_"Jasper..."_

_And then my vision blacked out, and I didn't feel anything._

**June 14th - 6:20 PM **- _Jazzy POV_

I had been wandering for several hours now, simply walking, not really sure where I was going and not really caring, either. I didn't know where I was, and I didn't really want to know. Of course, I knew that if I took just one moment to look up and take in my surroundings, I could figure it out. I knew Forks like the back of my hand — maybe even better.

I paused in my footsteps, and sighed.

It wasn't going to get any easier, was it? The fear and anxiety only grew with every step that led me into the confusing forest. And... the yearning kept growing, too. I was less than a few miles away. Maybe not even that. I needed to see her...

I needed to see Alice.

I stuffed my hands into my pockets, and my eyes flickered upward, taking in my surroundings. Laughter bubbled in my chest, and I chuckled quietly as I realized where I was.

Of course. Even subconsciously...

I was standing in the forest that surrounded Alice's house. Even without thinking about it, I had walked toward her. I knew I was less than a few hundred yards away from her. I could see _our_ tree — the tree in which we'd carved out names when she was nine and I was twelve. We had decided that day that we would be getting married one day. Alice had spent the remainder of the evening babbling to her mother — and anyone else that would listen — that we were getting married. She talked about wedding plans, about how she wanted it to be in the Spring, and about how she wanted her colors to be exactly like Bella's, because Edward and Bella's wedding had been the most amazing wedding she'd ever been to. Of course, this had been the point where her mother — Esme Cullen — had reminded her that Bella's wedding was the _only_ one she'd ever been to.

_"Silly baby girl_," I'd said, and she'd laughed, too.

I smiled softly, pressing my fingers against our names. They wood around the letters was faded now, but I noticed that the cuts were still clean. The dirt had been scraped from the carvings to make Alice's choice of words — _Alice and Jazzy 4ever _— stand out brightly against the darkening tree.

I felt hope began to grow in my chest. My heart thumped fast and hard. Did... she actually still care? Was she still waiting? Maybe over three years of no contact could be forgiven. Maybe we could be the same again.

I sighed.

No, not the same. But close enough to it to be OK.

I curled my fingers into a light fist and stuffed my hand back into my pocket. The air around me was growing cold as clouds began to fill the sky.

_Now, _I decided.

I would go now.

I knew it would only take about twenty minutes until I was crawling in her window. But... would that freak her out? Me climbing in her window after so long? I shrugged to myself. Oh, well. Worst case, she would shove me back out the window and begin yelling at me. Best case, I get to spend a while alone with her before her parents — and everyone else in the world — shows up.

With each step I took, my heart beat faster. First I could see the line of oak trees that led to her house. Then the beautiful, white building came into view. Then, I was standing outside her window.

And I definitely felt like a creeper.

I glanced around, noting that there were no cars in the driveway. Emmett wasn't home, and neither was Carlisle. Esme probably was, but she was more than likely downstairs, and as long as Alice didn't scream...

I chuckled to myself as I began to scale the tree outside her window. Creeper or not, I would be seeing my Alice in just a few moments.

The thought made me hands shake, and I had to grip the tree tighter to keep from slipping. The tree, which had endured much abuse by me over the years, seemed much smaller than it had been. Last I remembered, I always had to jump to grab the first branch. Now, I was at eye level with it, and heaving my lean frame into the branches didn't take nearly as much effort as it used to.

And then, I was moving silently from the tree into her room. And I could see her, and I was sure I was going to faint.

She was sleeping, very peacefully. Her black hair framed her face — longer than it had been when I'd left — and her arms were curled under her head. Her body was wrapped in the same blanket that I remembered from our childhood. Her room was much the same, too. The pile of school books in the corner, gathering dust and looking as though they hadn't been touched in months, reminded me that it was summer. I smiled at the thought, and realized that if she accepted me back, we would have all summer together before we had to start school again — both of us at Forks High, I was determined.

I moved silently to her side, and reached out to touch her face.

My hand stopped, and I felt a wave of pain shoot through me as she rolled over and breathed out a name in her sleep.

... but it wasn't _my_ name, like it always had been before.

"James," she muttered, and she curled into a ball, gathering her blanket in her hands and gripping it tightly.

I stared at her, uncomprehending, for only a few moments.

"I've lost my chance," I murmured numbly to myself, and I dropped my head into my hands, trying to block out the world.

And then I was gone, moving so swiftly and silently through the window that it was almost as if I was never there. And that was the way I wanted it. I was glad I'd chosen this way, because at least not Alice would still believe that I was gone forever, that I wasn't coming back. She could ... she could be happy with this other boy, and I would move on with life.

If only I could figure out how.

**6:39 PM **- _Alice POV_

I awoke with a start, my heart pounding and my eyes suddenly filling with tears. I curled into a ball against the wall, hugging my knees to my chest.

I'd never felt so alone.

I shook my head then, trying to forget. I didn't like that dream! I didn't want to dream about James, when I knew now that Jasper hadn't forgotten me. That he... that he thought I'd forgotten about him, instead.

The thought brought a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. As I silently cried, I listened. I could hear my mother's footsteps outside my door, growing ever closer, and I cringed. Now that the shock was past, I didn't want to see her. I didn't want her to be the one holding me.

"Alice?" she called softly, not even bothering to knock. My door was closed, and she probably knew that I wanted it to stay that way. "Alice, honey... can I come in?"

"No," I whispered softly, chocking on my tears as I curled further against the wall. "Go away."

She didn't respond, but I knew she had heard me. And... I knew I was hurting her. But wasn't it fair this way? That she was hurting, too? Because she'd hurt me a _lot_. And she'd hurt Jazzy, too, I knew. Because Jazzy loved me as much as I loved him, and I knew he was feeling exactly what I was feeling. But the difference was, _he_ didn't know yet.

I stumbled from my bed and moved clumsily across the room before sitting down heavily at my desk. I wiped frantic tears from my eyes before pulling out my journal. Before I knew what I was doing, the pen was flying across the paper.

_Dear Jazzy,_

_I'm so very sorry you've not received any of my letters. My mom... but there's no point in explaining now. I miss you, and I still love you. I'm still waiting, and I'll always be waiting for you. Please, let this letter not be too late._

I signed my name in a messy scrawl, and shoved the paper into an envelope before licking it closed and shoving it into my jacket pocket.

I needed to send it. _On my own_. Now.

I pulled shoes on, not even caring that I was in sweats and a tank top, and bolted out the door. I didn't even spare my mother a glance as I walked out the kitchen, though I knew she saw me. She didn't say anything, either. And I was thankful for that, because I didn't want to fight. I wanted to be mad, but not fight with her.

My pace slowed as I walked out into the breezy, June air. It was nice, but growing a little cold. I glanced up, and noticed for the first time the storm clouds beginning to gather in the sky. Hmm. It was probably getting ready to rain, I decided. I should have grabbed a jacket.

In the end, though, it didn't really matter.

I felt a raindrop hit my hand, and I glanced up at the sky again.

And then I began to run.

**7:22 PM _- _**_Jazzy POV_

"You're _sure_ you don't have anything sooner than Thursday?" I begged the woman on the other side of the phone. "I ... don't think I can wait that long."

_"The weather is making it next to impossible for any flight our of Port Angeles, or the surrounding areas. The nearest airport still in operation is Seattle, but I've checked, sir, and they're booked until Thursday."_

I sighed heavily into the phone, and tried to keep my tone polite as I spoke to the woman again. After all, it wasn't her fault, and I probably wasn't the only grumpy costumer she'd had all day. "All right. Thank you so much for trying."

_"Would you like me to book you a seat on Thursday's flight?"_

"Yeah, sure," I said, and I gave her my information. She informed me that I was booked on a flight that was scheduled to leave at 11 AM, and I thanked her and hung up.

I sighed heavily, and as I gripped my phone tightly in my hand, I looked around and realized that I was in Fork's only park. It was small, and poorly equipped, but it had been one of my favorite places to hang out with Alice after school.

I smiled, and walked over to an old, worn bench. It was exactly the same as I remembered it. Peeling paint, and names scratched into every surface. I sat down, and as I began to run my fingers over the names, I felt a drop of rain on my skin. I glanced up at the sky just as the clouds decided to pour everything they had been holding back down on me.

It felt oddly appropriate, for it to be raining now. It was like my outside world was finally, for once, matching my inside world. I used to hate all the rain — I always felt like the sun should be shining when I was with Alice.

I sighed.

But now she had someone else, and I was just the idiot that had given her up and was left sitting on a park bench in the pouring rain.

I stood up quickly now, unable to stand still. There was so much to do, and to figure out, and starting that process would keep my mind off Alice, I knew.

First things first, of course — I needed a place to stay for the next two days. Staying at the Cullen's was obviously out, and I no longer had a home to go to. There was only one hotel in Forks, and from what I could remember — and I doubted it had changed any — it was disgusting and not kept up that well. No one ever stayed in it, anyway, because really, who vacations in Forks?

I knew I only had one other option. I took out my phone, and began to dial. Three rings, four...

_"Cullen Residence, this is Edward speaking."_

I smiled the smallest bit; I hadn't heard his voice in years. It was warm, comforting, and I could hear Bella and Teddy in the background. Then, I heard a small cry, one that didn't belong to Teddy. It confused me for a moment, but then I realized the obvious — Teddy had a little sibling. What else had I missed? I sighed, and then spoke.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my smile returning slightly. "Is this a bad time?" I asked, and then I heard the phone drop. The room was still noisy, but Edward was silent. Then, Teddy's voice, muffled, _"Daddy, you dropped the phone."_ I heard shuffling, as Edward took it back from the three-year-old. He still didn't speak, though. "Hey," I whispered, smiling sheepishly though he couldn't see me. "How are you doing?"

_"... Jasper? Is that... is that you?"_

"Yeah," I breathed, and it was almost a relief that someone now knew I was here. Or, would soon, I corrected myself, because I hadn't yet told him. But it felt more real this way. Like I was actually here, and it wasn't just a dream. "Yeah. It's me."

_"Where are you? What are you doing? Why are you calling _me_?"_

I decided to be straight-forward, and just spit it out. "I'm in Forks, and I need a place to stay."

Edward paused again. I noted, in his silence, that Bella and Teddy — and the new baby, though I didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl — had left the room. _Everything _was silent, and it was bit unnerving.

_"You're in Forks?"_

"Uh-huh."

_"... You're not staying with Esme and Carlisle?"_

"It's a long story," I whispered, but it really wasn't. Alice had moved on. And... shouldn't Edward know that? But maybe it had been a while since he'd visited. He might not know yet.

_"I want to hear everything when you get here. Where are you? I can pick you up."_

"I'd rather walk," I said, and I heard him sigh on the other end.

_"It's pouring."_

"I know. I'll be fine. I'm not terribly far from your house. I was walking even before I called you."

_"Alright, then. We'll see you in a little bit. The children will be sleeping when you get here. Bella just went to put them down. So we'll have to be quiet."_

I nodded, expecting that. Then Edward and I said a short goodbye, and I started walking again. I didn't know if I'd made the right choice, contacting someone. If I'd just left, it would be like I'd never come back. Like none of this had ever happened. But I was sure that I could get Edward and Bella to promise not to say anything, to just pretend I'd never been there. Surely they would at least give me that much.

The rain was pouring harder now. It was weighing down on me with every step I took.

I sighed.

Where did I go from here? I didn't want to live without Alice, but it was looking like ... like I might have to learn how to. Obviously I couldn't just off myself. That would be terribly selfish, since so many people still cared for me and loved me.

But... how did I _live_? I'd survived the past three years on the small amount of hope that one day I would be back in Alice's arms. But now, that hope was gone.

_What did I have to live for now_?

* * *

Aww. Poor Jazzy. I kinda wanna hug him. Next chapter: Edward, Teddy and baby Marie! Despite that, I don't see the emotions getting any lighter in the near future!

**NOTE**: The support of those who are still reviewing is amazing. I looked at my stats, and I still have about 500 readers. I only have about 40 of them reviewing, though, so I can't help but wonder what the others think. **-POKE- **Please let me know your thoughts! If there's something you really want to happen, let me know! I always try and work everyone's ideas into the story. =)

_**PLEASE REVIEW! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too!)_

* * *

**_NEXT CHAPTER_**_:_

"I'll never come back. I promise, I'll never put myself back into her life, and make her choose between me and someone else. It'll be like I was never here."

"She still loves you," Edward whispered softly, trying to persuade me. I hardened my resolve. There was no way I cold make him believe me, without lying. I knew it was the only way he'd drop this, though, and let me go.

"I don't love her anymore. I ... met someone else."


	23. Scene 4: Missing

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 14, _Jazzy_: 17 _Em_: 20 _Rose_: 19 _Teddy: _3

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Twenty-Two_**

_**Previously...**_

_The rain was pouring harder now. It was weighing down on me with every step I took._

_I sighed._

_Where did I go from here? I didn't want to live without Alice, but it was looking like ... like I might have to learn how to. Obviously I couldn't just off myself. That would be terribly selfish, since so many people still cared for me and loved me._

_But... how did I live? I'd survived the past three years on the small amount of hope that one day I would be back in Alice's arms. But now, that hope was gone._

_What did I have to live for now?_

_**June 10th – **__Edward POV_

"He's coming here?"

I nodded, considering my words carefully. I was sitting on the couch now, Bella curled into my side. Both babies were sleeping, and the house was terribly silent. I could hear the rain pounding on the roof, and the soft sound of Bella's breathing. The hum from the baby monitor – temporarily in the living room so we could hear if one of the children woke up – seemed much louder than normal.

"Yes. He said just for a day or two. He has a flight out on Thursday. ... He said he couldn't stay in his old house, even though it still technically belongs to him. I don't blame him."

"Oh," Bella breathed, and I felt her stiffen next to me. Then, "So he's not staying? Here in Forks, I mean."

I shook my head. "I don't know details. But ... I don't think so."

I could tell that she wanted very badly to ask the question that I knew was weighing on both of our minds, but she couldn't quite bring herself to. So, instead, I brought up the topic, being purposely vague so that she could pose her own questions.

"I wonder if he's already seen Alice," I murmured, and I brushed my fingers through her hair. At the same moment, Marie's soft coo floated through the baby monitor. Bella stiffened, but then relaxed into my side once more when it was clear that the baby was still sleeping.

"Why did he come back, then?"

"I…"

But I paused then, because I didn't know. Why _would_ Jasper come back, if he wasn't going to see Alice?

"I don't really know." I leaned down, and kissed Bella's forehead softly. "I'm sure he has his reasons."

"... Do you ... has Esme talked to you recently?" she asked, and her voice was quiet, soft. I considered her question for a moment; my mother and I talked almost every day, and Bella knew that. But I knew she was asking for something more specific than that. I shook my head.

"We haven't talked any more than normal. We talked about the weather, and Teddy and Marie a few days ago."

"Oh."

I was burning with curiosity now. What could Esme possibly have to do with the previous train of thought? What did she have to do with Alice and Jasper? I wanted to ask, but I knew that my sweet Bella would offer her thoughts whenever she was ready, and that forcing her before that point would only make her clam up.

"Ah, what the hell," she muttered, almost so quietly that I couldn't hear. I was surprised at her language; she rarely ever cussed, except when she was upset or extremely nervous. "You know how Jasper and Alice haven't sent any letters to each other in over three years?"

I nodded, confused and curious.

"Well ... they _had_ been writing. Nearly every day," she said, and she moved from my side, curling her legs under her as she turned to look at me. Her eyes, still blue despite the surgery that had fixed her sight over three years ago, were intense and sparkling with the information they held. "They never received the letters, not even once. Esme ... " she trailed off, her voice trembling, and I reached out to touch my fingers to her cheek. She wrapped her own small, warm hand around mine. And, seeming to gain strength from my touch, she continued. All of her words came in a rush now. "Esme took all the letters. She _hid_ them. She was trying to protect them, to keep Alice from feeling the pain of separation. But instead, Alice thought that Jasper forgot her. She's spent _three years_ believing that the boy she loved so ... so much, had completely forgotten her."

She finished her little rant with a soft squeeze on my hand. I pulled it away, not speaking as I stared at her. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out, so I closed it again.

"Edward?" she whispered, but I still couldn't respond.

How… how could Esme _do that_? It only took one look at Jasper and Alice to know that they loved each other. Maybe it was puppy love. Maybe it would have gone away. But, more than likely, it wouldn't have. Jasper loved Alice more than anyone, and Alice fully returned that feeling. Even though they were just children when they were separated, it was easy to tell that a love like that could never be extinguished.

But my own mother – _our_ mother – had torn them apart, and if the pain in Jasper's voice when I had spoken to him was any indication, then she had caused them so much more pain than any separation could have.

"Edward, please say something," my Bella begged me quietly, and I felt her soft hands on my face then. I didn't speak, though. Instead, I reached out and took her hands into mine, pressing my lips into her palm.

I opened my mouth, but then closed it, trying to make sense of the words in my head before they came out. I did this a few more times before sighing softly and finally speaking. There was no use being angry now.

"What's done is done. Jasper should be here soon, and… well, we'll go from there."

Bella smiled the smallest bit, and nodded. "Oh. I'll make him something to eat. I'm sure he'll be hungry. Besides," she added, "I need something to do. I'm all nervous now."

She laughed, and held out her hands, which were shaking. I took them into my own, and then pulled her against me. I had felt the pain of separation, of fear, of not knowing whether the one you loved, loved you back. I knew that Jasper was feeling that pain, and I hated that he had to. It was worse than any physical pain I'd ever had to bare, and I wished it on no one.

"I love you," I whispered, and I felt her smile against my neck.

"I love you, too, Edward," she breathed, and we both laughed then, nervously, because a small whimper from the baby radio made us jump.

"It's just Marie. I'll go see to her," I said, and Bella nodded. We walked out separate ways then, but I was content in the knowledge that nothing could ever tear us apart.

_Jasper… whatever happens, I hope that you can one day feel the love that I feel for my family_.

_**7:21 PM **__– Jazzy POV_

I was standing in the rain, my hands in my pockets and my hair obscuring my view. I reached up, brushing the wet, blond locks from my eyes so I could better see the large, soft brown house. I smiled just a little, because I had fond memories of this house. I had been here once, when Teddy was just an infant. He had been loud and inconsolable that day, and Bella had been at her wits end, trying to calm him so he wouldn't upset the family gathering. I was always at the family gatherings, of course, because Alice wouldn't hear otherwise.

_Alice_.

I sighed, and walked forward. My footsteps brought me to the front door much sooner than I would have liked. I reached up, and quickly knocked twice, scared that if I paused too long, I would simply walk away.

It creaked open swiftly. Even if I'd been thinking about it, I wouldn't have had time to run away.

But, of course, that hadn't been on my mind at all...

"Jasper," came the soft voice, and I smiled despite myself. And then I was pulled into warm arms, and everything that I had been pushing back came rushing forward, and the next thing I knew, I was sobbing in Bella's arms. It was probably a comical sight; I was much taller than she was, and the embrace was awkward to begin with. But despite everything, she simply held me, rubbing my back and whispering soft reassurances in my ear like only a mother could manage.

I wasn't sure how long we stood there. The only thing I was aware of was warm arms and a comforting embrace as I let my pain wash over me.

"We're getting wet," I observed, finally able to catch my breath and speak. She laughed softly, and the sound was like music to my ears.

"Let's go inside, then, shall we?"

I nodded, unable to do anything else. She led me to the kitchen, and made me sit down. Before I was aware of what was happening, there was a sandwich in front of me, and a glass of milk. It was then that I realized exactly how ravenous I was – I hadn't eaten all day. Or last night, I recalled...

I glanced up at Bella, and she nodded toward the food, noticing my hesitation. That was all I needed – I reached for the sandwich, and the next thing I knew, I was washing it down with the glass of milk and Edward was walking in the room, a tiny baby dressed in bright pink on his shoulder. I smiled, despite the nervousness that was balling in the pit of my stomach. Edward noticed my gaze, and he smiled, too.

"This is Marie. Her first birthday was a few weeks ago. Here," he offered, and my eyes grew wide as I was suddenly holding this tiny baby – a little girl I didn't even know but already loved – in my arms. She was small, but heavy.

"She's… sturdy," I noted, and Edward smiled, almost smugly, as he gazed at his daughter. I glanced back down at the baby then, realizing suddenly that I would have to leave this all behind in less than two days. I would be leaving this baby girl who I barely knew, and Teddy, and Edward and Bella – and, of course, Alice.

Edward was sitting next to me, and Bella was missing from the room before I realized I was crying again. I couldn't remember ever crying this much, but I felt as if my whole world was crumbling, and really, what did it matter? Who really cared if I was crying? It made the pain a little easier to bear.

Marie waved her hand at my face, showing me the tear that she'd caught. She cooed softly in contentment as she curled closer to my warm body. Her tiny feet kicked out unconsciously, and then curled close to her body once more.

"We can talk whenever you're ready," Edward said softly.

And then it all came pouring forth.

"I'm so scared. I'm terrified to leave, because what do I have to live for then? Everything I want – everything I love – is here. You and Bella, Teddy and now Marie, too. Emmett, Esme, Carlisle… and Alice. You're all here, and when I leave again, I have nothing to live for. Where do I go from there? Do I just keep living, a shell of myself? I don't want to. Not without Alice."

I was still holding Marie, and she was like an anchor, holding me to the Earth. She was alive and warm in my arms, and she ... well, honestly, she looked a lot like Alice. Her hair was a little lighter, and there was more of it, too. But I remembered holding another baby girl once, who looked so much like the one I now held. And holding Marie made me remember when I was three, and I'd held Alice for the first time.

"_I love this baby girl," _I'd said. _"I'll love this baby girl forever."_

It was a promise that I never intended to break. I still loved Alice. I always would. But ...

"She has someone else, Edward. She doesn't need me anymore, and I feel like there's nothing left on this Earth for me. Without her, it all means nothing."

Edward frowned, confused. "I haven't heard anything. Who are you talking about?"

"His name is James, I guess," I said, and I didn't elaborate, because I realized then that I didn't know anything else. He could have been a friend, at school. A teacher, a doctor ... he could have been anything. All I'd heard was a name. But it was enough, because it wasn't _my_ name.

"Oh," Edward said, and he didn't say anything else for a few moments. Then, "Jasper… have you talked to her?"

I shook my head, staring down at Marie as she yawned and waved a tiny fist. I didn't meet Edward's eyes, because I knew what he was thinking, what he wanted to say.

"I don't need to talk to her to know. She was dreaming about this boy. And ... I've been gone for _three years_, Edward, and I stopped writing to her. She's not heard from me in three years, and there is no way I can simply march back into her life when she's finally moved on. I love her enough that I can let her go, that I can let her be happy."

Edward shook his head.

"You don't love her enough, then."

If I hadn't been holding Marie, I probably would have punched him. As it was, I stood up, my chair scraping back and clattering noisily on the floor. I turned my back on Edward, and I was shaking with anger. He simply walked over to me, and took Marie from me. He clearly didn't trust me with her when I was angry. And why should he? Last he'd known, I was a small – well, smaller – boy who had never had a temper tantrum in his life.

"I love her more than you can ever know," I finally said, and my words were rough, and loud. Marie was crying, but it was a distant cry. I subconsciously realized that she was no longer in my arms. She was nowhere in sight, in fact, when I finally looked up.

"You can't claim to love someone if you're so ready to just give up everything that the two of you spent _eleven years _building up. You can't love her if you're just going to throw it away."

I didn't speak for several moments. Edward was behind me; I could feel him even though he wasn't touching me. And then I switched tactics, because I knew he wouldn't let me go without a fight if I didn't convince him that this was for the best, like I knew it was.

"You're right, of course," I said softly, and then I laughed; it was a slightly crazed sound. "I don't love her anymore. I mean, I do, but not in the same way. It's been so long. And besides, I've met someone else."

I heard a deep sigh behind me. I turned around then, because I couldn't help it. It would be easier to lie, of course, if I weren't staring directly in Edward's eyes, but I needed to know what he was thinking.

I was shocked to see him roll his eyes. And then he whacked me upside the head.

"You're an idiot," he said. "And that's the biggest lie I've ever heard. No one has ever loved my sister more than you, and no one ever will."

I blinked, confused now.

"What? But you just said – "

"I was trying to get a reaction out of you. Obviously, it backfired. You and Alice have a love that is unparalleled. I've never seen two children – well, you _were _children. Now I suppose you're almost adults – so obviously in love."

I sighed; he knew I was lying. I knew I was lying. It was a pathetic attempt at lying to begin with. Of course I still loved Alice. And sure, maybe I'd met someone else. I _could_ have been happy with Maria. But it wouldn't have been nearly the same.

"It doesn't matter," I finally decided. "She has ... she has someone else. If she didn't, I dunno... I'd probably go see her. No, I know I would. But ... I stopped writing three years ago. It's my fault. Maybe ... if I'd kept writing. Maybe she would have eventually written back. Maybe... but it's in the past now. I've lost my chance."

Edward was shaking his head, and then his hand was on my shoulder.

"It's probably not my place to tell you this. Hell, I only found out a few minutes ago. But if I don't say something ... " He trailed off, shook his head, and then continued. "Jasper... Alice _was_ writing back. Every single day. But she gave up writing because _she_ never received _your_letters. My mom... Esme, she hid all of your letters and Alice's, to keep Alice from being hurt by the separation. Don't you _see_? She _never_ gave up on you. She still loves you! You can't let that go!"

I could barely even understand the words. I dropped heavily into the chair I'd been in previously, my hands gripping the table tightly.

"Oh."

It was the only word I could force out. It was a quiet sound, almost pathetic. But it was all I could manage. My mind was spinning.

"I know it's a lot to take in," Edward said, and he reached out once more to place a hand on my shoulder. "But... think about it. You have two days. You don't have to make a final decision right now. And – "

But he was cut off by the phone ringing. I was almost thankful.

_She had been writing. She... she hadn't given up on me!_

It was too much to take in, too much to fully comprehend.

"Hey, mom, now is not a good time. I'm ... what did you say?"

Edward's voice floated into my consciousness. I registered the fact that he was talking in the background, but I couldn't make sense of the words. But then he uttered _her_ name, and I felt my heart beat faster. It wasn't simply that he'd said her name, but instead because of the other words surrounding it. It took several moments after that to realize that he was talking to me, that he'd hung up the phone and was trying to get my attention. I turned to stare at him.

It only took three words to snap me out of my stupor.

"Alice is missing."

_Oh, God, please, no..._

* * *

So ... yeah. Sorry for not updating sooner. I had planned on it a few days ago, but then one of my best friend's father died, and I've been spending most of my time with her.

**NOTE**: Next update will probably be a while, also. School starts for me again soon. But I figured that I'd post this while I could so people didn't start freaking out that I'd disappeared again.

**_Please Review! _**_( I also accept Anon. reviews!)_

* * *

**NEXT CHAPTER**:

"Alice! Alice, please... please, say something. Wake up, please... "


	24. Scene 5: Found

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or the characters. Thanks a million to my beta, **CrystalRaindro****p**!

**Age Chart**

_Alice_: 14, _Jazzy_: 17 _Em_: 20 _Rose_: 19 _Teddy: _3

* * *

_I'm a house of cards  
In a hurricane  
A reckless ride  
In the pouring rain  
She cuts me and the pain  
Is all I wanna feel  
She'll dance away just like a child  
She drives me crazy  
Drives me wild  
But I'm helpless when she smiles_

_~ Helpless When She Smiles - **The Backstreet Boys**_

* * *

**_When She Smiles — Chapter Twenty-Three_**

_**Previously...**_

_But he was cut off by the phone ringing. I was almost thankful._

_She had been writing. She... she hadn't given up on me!_

_It was too much to take in, too much to fully comprehend._

_"Hey, mom, now is not a good time. I'm ... what did you say?"_

_Edward's voice floated into my consciousness. I registered the fact that he was talking in the background, but I couldn't make sense of the words. But then he uttered her name, and I felt my heart beat faster. It wasn't simply that he'd said her name, but instead because of the other words surrounding it. It took several moments after that to realize that he was talking to me, that he'd hung up the phone and was trying to get my attention. I turned to stare at him._

_It only took three words to snap me out of my stupor._

_"Alice is missing."_

_Oh, God, please, no..._

_**June 10th — **Jazzy POV - **8:00 PM**_

The rain felt like tiny razors all across my skin, cutting me. It was oddly appropriate, because that's how I felt inside, too. I felt pain like I'd never felt before. I felt like my whole life was being ripped apart, piece by piece.

_Alice is missing_.

"ALICE!"

The search party was all around me. It consisted of Edward and Carlisle, Charlie and a few men from the station who had volunteered to help, and me. Bella was at the house with Teddy and Marie, alone and worried. I briefly felt bad for her, but my thoughts were quickly consumed by Alice once more.

_"She ran out earlier; she was mad at me, so I didn't try to stop her. I felt that she ... needed some time alone. So I let her go. She hasn't come home, and she's nowhere in town. No... no one has seen her."_

Esme's words echoed in my mind. She had been worried, and crying inconsolably. She blamed herself; I was beginning to feel anger about what she had done, so I blamed her a little bit, too. But I knew she hadn't done this on purpose — she loved Alice, too.

But despite that — despite everything — my baby girl was still missing, and it was raining hard. I could barely see the trees in front of me, and I knew that if she was lost, she would be scared, too. She hated thunderstorms — she always had.

_Unless that has changed, too_. _Three years is a long time_...

I shook my head. Now was not the time to be depressed over the time we had missed being together. Instead, it was time to search so that maybe, just maybe, we could make new memories together.

"Jasper!"

I turned my head, squinting hard to see through the rain. Carlisle was coming toward me, his blond hair hanging haphazardly in his eyes. He held a flashlight — for all the good it did in the rain — and was wearing a large, yellow raincoat provided by Charlie. He looked into my eye when he was close enough to see me. I knew what he was silently asking.

_Have you found her yet?_

I shook my head.

"Do you know where she would go? Is there any place special she goes when she's upset, or angry?" I asked, and I was frustrated with my own uncertainty. I knew, of course, where she would have gone if this had happened three years ago. But that, too, had probably changed. I knew that if I was still the one living in Forks, I would have avoided _our_ places. I would have avoided the memories. But... then again, Alice always was the stronger one of the two of us.

"You would know better than I would," Carlisle countered, pulling me from my thoughts; he was yelling now, to be heard over the rain. His voice echoed through the treetops. I pursed my lips, not responding immediately. He was wrong. I knew he was. I wasn't the one who knew Alice best anymore. Someone else had taken my place.

But any guess was better than nothing, I decided. So I paused, and thought. Where _would_ she go? If this had happened when we were still young — when I still knew her as well as she knew herself — where would she run?

When she was five, her favorite place had been in her closet. It was a tiny closet, and it took a lot for us both to fit in there. Nonetheless, she had climbed inside every time she was scared, and she had hauled me with her. I smiled then, remembering.

_"Jazzy! The monsters are coming! Hide with me!"_

_Wide, blue eyes were frantic and terrified. I chuckled to myself a little; there were no monsters, I knew. At least, none that would hurt Alice. I would make sure of that. No one would ever hurt her._

_"Where should we hide?" I asked, and I arranged my expression to appear carefully worried and cautious. Alice looked up at me, and grabbed my hand._

_"In my closet! They can't find us there."_

_I never did understand why the closet was so safe. Why was it that when we were in there, she wasn't scared?_

_"OK, then," I told her, and we ran together to her closet. I shoved the door open, and we both crawled inside. But she was growing, as all small children did, and it was a little more cramped than usual._

_"Jazzy, move. I don't have enough room," she complained, and my lips twitched, wanting to smile. How silly this must have looked from outside. A five-year-old girl hauling her brothers best friend into the closet in the middle of the day because of the "monsters" that had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. But that was a child's imagination. Always creating._

_"I can't move, baby girl. You're closet is too small."_

_Alice was silent. Then,_

_"Oh."_

_I wasn't sure what happened next, but the next thing I remember, Alice was crawling onto my lap and laying her head on my chest._

_"I love you, Jazzy," she whispered, and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close._

_"Love you, too, baby girl. Forever."_

After that, her hiding places had become more reasonable. The last place I remember hiding with her before I had left was in the park, under the jungle gym. It was a small space; I was sure that we both wouldn't fit in it anymore. But she was a small girl, so...

"Maybe in the park," I finally answered, when I realized that Carlisle was still waiting for an answer. "We used to hide under the jungle gym when people would tease her, or me. It's tricky to get into, and once you're in, no one can really see you. If... if she's in there, she's at least mostly safe from the rain."

Carlisle nodded. "Go look there, then. We need to split up, anyway. We're not covering much ground this way. I'm headed into town to check the courthouse and post office; Esme didn't look there. Charlie and his team are scanning the woods around the house, and Edward's covering the school."

I nodded; it was all trivial information. I knew where I was headed, and I knew I wouldn't be stopping until I found her. So it didn't really matter, anyway. I began to walk away from Carlisle, and then I was running. I didn't even have to see my surroundings to be sure where I was going. I knew this path, from Alice's house into town. I used to take it every single night.

The rain was still pouring, and I was beginning to feel it now, yet it wasn't unpleasent. It slashed across my skin as I ran, and the water that was already on the ground soaked into my shoes. My feet were uncomfortably wet, and they slipped in the mud occasionally as I brushed my way through the tree branches and various thorn bushes that were scattered throughout the landscape.

"Alice!" I called, for I could now see the park in front of me. I heard no response, and my heart fell just a little.

It was then that I realized I'd given up any previous idea about not seeing her. I _had_ to. Even if it was just for a moment. Even if she told me she never wanted to see me again. I had to see her, to feel her arms around me and to hold her tightly in my own arms.

"_Alice_!"

I was stumbling every few steps now; the sand in the playground had been turned to a slippery mush from the rain that continued relentlessly. I could see the jungle gym; I couldn't yet see our hiding place, thought. Despite this, it was almost as if I could _feel_ her. I _knew _she was there.

I stumbled upon the jungle gym.

Or maybe it was just foolish hope.

She wasn't there.

I slumped to my knees; I wasn't sure if I was crying, because the rain was too heavy. But it felt like my heart was breaking. No. It felt like it had been torn in pieces and was now being stomped upon.

I opened my lips, and cried out, every bit of anguish that was inside pouring out with that one, single word.

"_ALICE!_"

**( - _Alice POV _- )**

I wasn't running anymore. I was curled into a small ball, thankfully shielded from the rain. The letter that I'd wanted to send to Jazzy was clutched tightly in my hands, ruined now. The words were all blurred together from the rain that had come out of nowhere.

_I can't do it._

_I was staring at the mailbox, Jazzy's letter gripped tightly in my palms. I was nervous; I was crying, too. I couldn't force myself to open the little box and stuff the letter inside. Doubt was overwhelming me, filling me and tearing me apart._

_What if he didn't want me anymore? Did it matter that this hadn't been either of our faults? It had been three years._

_What if it was too late?_

I dropped my head into my hands, and bit back a sob. The rain was getting harder now, and colder. I shivered, and blew a lock of soaking hair out of my eyes.

I needed to find somewhere safe from the rain. Then... then...

Well, I wasn't sure what would happen next. I would probably wait out the storm, because I couldn't tell where I was going in the darkness. I wasn't even sure where I was. But surely I had to be somewhere near shelter. Any kind of shelter.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I began to walk. It was slow going, because the wind was strong and blowing against me. But before I knew it, the ground beneath my feet grew softer; I reached down, and the sand slipped slowly through my fingers.

There were only two places in Forks with sand; the beach (Which was technically in La Push) and the playground.

_So I did know where I was after all_...

I smiled a small, sad smile. This was the park where Jazzy and I always came. I hadn't been here many times since he'd left — I could count on one hand the times I had been forced to come here. It held a lot of memories, including all the times we would come and climb into the jungle gym to hide from the kids who liked to tease me and bully him.

_The jungle gym..._

It would shield me from the rain, if not the wind. It was a start. And it would probably have to do, because I knew the area around here, and it was almost all residential. The last thing I wanted to do was crawl, soaked and shivering, up to someone's front door and ask for a place to stay.

I sighed, and wrapped my arms tighter aroung myself.

_Jazzy! Hide with me!_

I knew it was stupid; I was getting soaked, and probably sick. But the memories... I knew they would come rushing back again. And I was defenseless and hopeful, and so easily hurt right now.

_I won't let them hurt you again. We can hide until they leave. ... I won't ever let them hurt you again._

I moved one step forward, and then another.

_C'mon, baby girl. We can play a game. This can be... this can be our spaceship!_

I knew that, back then, Jazzy had been protecting me the only way he knew how — by hiding. He couldn't physically fight them off. He wasn't weak, but he wasn't physically strong. He was beat down far too often — in pain far too often — to really be strong enough to fight anyone.

I was in front of the jungle gym now. The rain was too thick to see anything but the bright colors that were suddenly assaulting my vision.

_I love you, baby girl_...

I reached out to touch the plastic, but pulled my hand back quickly, almost as if I'd been shocked.

_"Alice!"_

My heart beat fast, and I shivered harder than ever. His voice sounded so real. It was so much worse than any memory I could imagine; his voice, so real, so strong, cutting through me. When had my memories become quite so real? And if I could hear him, why couldn't I see him? Maybe there was something wrong with my head... maybe I was hallucinating.

But then... I could hear him moving, too, which was unusual. And surely I was going insane now. Memories weren't supposed to be so vivid. But I could hear footsteps, frantic and clumsy, moving quickly across the park.

_"ALICE!"_

Memories... memories hurt...

But I knew.

This time...

... it wasn't a memory.

Blue eyes. Messy, wet blond hair.

My knees grew weak.

And then, a look of confusion lit his beautiful face. The Jazzy in my memories was never confused. Or quite this soaked.

"... Alice?"

The rain poured harder than ever. Even without the thunder, it sounded like the world was shaking and exploding everywhere. I couldn't hear; my vision was beginning to black out. Was I fainting? That would be sucky timing...

"Is that... is that really you, Alice?"

And then a hand, soft and warm, was on my face.

My knees gave out, and I fell to the ground.

But as I closed my eyes, I smiled, because at least if I never opened them again, _he_ would be the last thing I ever saw.

* * *

I REALIZE THIS IS A SHORT CHAPTER! ... now that that's out of the way, I'll explain. Classes started this week. My life **SUCKS**. Over 10 assignments already turned in, and several more to accomplish this weekend, along with off-campus work. So I figured I'd give you what I have and call it good so you don't worry that I've died again.

**NOTE**: Yay! Reunion next chaaaaaapter!

_**PLEASE REVIEW! **( I accept Anon. reviews, too! )_

_

* * *

_

**NEXT CHAPTER**:

"Is she's gonna be ok? She's so pale, and she's not waking up..."


End file.
